I love the idea of Thanksgiving….

[Anonymous]

I want to add that when I'm tired, I just sit. I chat, I leave the mess alone. Sometimes other people step in to help, but I don't mind if they don't. When I'm rested, I'll clean up. The only things that's urgent is putting the food away. You have to let some things go.

[Anonymous]

Eventually Thanksgiving dinners got smaller as siblings got grand kids, everyone does their own dinner with their own family unit. It keeps the peace. The few singles and childless siblings go wherever they want for dinner. Much better than a massive gathering.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Simplify it. I started buying store bought prepared things for half of the meal. No one cared or commented, which made me a little mad since I cooked for so many years and it didn’t make a difference. But that’s my issue.

So now I buy what I can, relax part of the day, throw it all in the oven and we even eat on disposable China (nice paper plates) for the big meals. It’s 100% easier when no one is helping.

+1


Don't throw it all away. The memories and gatherings are important, for the kids AND for the adults. But do it in a way that doesn't destroy you. Make some compromises,.get help,buy things, etc.

This year I did a potluck. Hard to coordinate and still a lot of work, but much less pressure.

+2. Make a few things, buy a few things, and ask people to bring a few things. Ask DH to help cook or help clean as you go so all that’s left at the end are the dinner dishes. Do this in a way so that you don’t feel resentful. If that means you need to call the whole thing off, that’s ok too.