Baby with no flu shot at this winter gathering

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here. The thanksgiving dinner is hosted at grandparent house. It is grandparents telling us not to come if any of us have symptoms. They did not say exactly why, but they imply it is for the sake of 8 months old baby during the conversation. And, my brother has texted and checked on us how we are doing so far. Just a lot of pressures on me to act like a great aunt. We have voluntarily skipped family dinner at grandparent house a few times when the baby was younger. None of us has seen the baby yet except on video chat.

Okay, if it's the hosts saying you can't bring symptomatic guests, you can't bring them. Given that in my experience elementary kids are pretty much always sick, I would plan for Thanksgiving at home and it'll be a nice treat to go to the grandparents' if everyone magically wakes up sniffle free Thursday morning. It sucks your ILs are more concerned about sharing germs than you but it is what it is. The flu shot is still irrelevant since 90% of the symptoms you've mentioned aren't even flu symptoms. Sounds like grandparents just don't want colds/Covid/RSV to spread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Honestly the flu shot is a red herring. The thing that's bothering you is that you can't take your kids to thanksgiving if they have any kind of cold symptoms which sucks because school ages kids have colds basically all the time but is also a pretty reasonable ask for a big optional indoor gathering like thanksgiving. Stop focusing on the flu shot or lack thereof.

- I and my babies are vaccinated for flu but I don't think telling people not to share their colds is unreasonable

+1
Barring the fact that it involves a flu vaccination, this sort of discussion happens all the time in the Family Relationships forum.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. The thanksgiving dinner is hosted at grandparent house. It is grandparents telling us not to come if any of us have symptoms. They did not say exactly why, but they imply it is for the sake of 8 months old baby during the conversation. And, my brother has texted and checked on us how we are doing so far. Just a lot of pressures on me to act like a great aunt. We have voluntarily skipped family dinner at grandparent house a few times when the baby was younger. None of us has seen the baby yet except on video chat.

Okay, if it's the hosts saying you can't bring symptomatic guests, you can't bring them. Given that in my experience elementary kids are pretty much always sick, I would plan for Thanksgiving at home and it'll be a nice treat to go to the grandparents' if everyone magically wakes up sniffle free Thursday morning. It sucks your ILs are more concerned about sharing germs than you but it is what it is. The flu shot is still irrelevant since 90% of the symptoms you've mentioned aren't even flu symptoms. Sounds like grandparents just don't want colds/Covid/RSV to spread.

Of course they don’t! Stop acting like COVID is the one and only thing that can make other people miserably sick, or disrupt work and school. Colds, RSV, HFM, bronchitis, flu, pneumonia also exist, and no one wants that. If you’re sick or your kids are sick, STAY HOME. DUH. That isn’t unreasonable for grandparents or hosts or anyone else to ask or expect. If you think it’s OK to bring symptoms to any gathering, you suck. And yes, that means you’ll miss out on stuff. That’s better than giving a baby RSV or an old person pneumonia.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Regardless of who is or is not vaccinated, it is incumbent on you not to go anywhere if you or your kids have symptoms of anything. Period.

+1

The vaccine thing is a red herring. Don’t bring a kid with even minor cold symptoms around a new baby! Sheesh. And x1000 this winter with so much stuff going on.

[Anonymous]

Is this baby an only child? If so they may be able to stem the germs. My first had a lovely first 2 winters with minimal sickness since we had a nanny and limited visitors. My second lid had all the colds theboldest brought from preschool and school and was sniffly all winter continuously even though she also had a nanny and was at home for 3 years.

[Anonymous]

Np
I agree this is a common issue. I don't know if it's the area they live or their own family but ILs vaccinate fully including flu shots. We don't but they are the ones who always bring colds. At least none of us get the flu but it would be nice to not get the colds they always seem to bring. It's not that big of a deal because there are no babies here and at least it's not the flu.

[Anonymous]

There are alot of other viruses than flu and the chance of all three kids not having any cold symptoms is approaching 0%. I would just plan a different Thanksgiving for your own family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here. The thanksgiving dinner is hosted at grandparent house. It is grandparents telling us not to come if any of us have symptoms. They did not say exactly why, but they imply it is for the sake of 8 months old baby during the conversation. And, my brother has texted and checked on us how we are doing so far. Just a lot of pressures on me to act like a great aunt. We have voluntarily skipped family dinner at grandparent house a few times when the baby was younger. None of us has seen the baby yet except on video chat.

I think it is 100% reasonable for grandparents to tell people not to come if they have symptoms. My parents would do the same thing! It's just common sense and common courtesy especially with a baby in the house. I would have the same rule and my baby has been vaccinated against flu.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Honestly the flu shot is a red herring. The thing that's bothering you is that you can't take your kids to thanksgiving if they have any kind of cold symptoms which sucks because school ages kids have colds basically all the time but is also a pretty reasonable ask for a big optional indoor gathering like thanksgiving. Stop focusing on the flu shot or lack thereof.

- I and my babies are vaccinated for flu but I don't think telling people not to share their colds is unreasonable

I agree. Regardless of whether the baby is vaccinated, you should not come to Thanksgiving with colds. Even if you really want to go and haven't seen your family in a long time. Period.

[Anonymous]

How old is the baby? Was the flu shot even available when mom was pregnant?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How old is the baby? Was the flu shot even available when mom was pregnant?

Also, cold symptoms in older children could be RSV or a bunch of other things, which infant cent be vaccinated for, nor the older adults. It’s rude to bring snotty, coughy kids to dinner, even if it’s been a long time. I say this as a parent whose kid had been snotty for the last month.

Oh, and for the record, she’s the only kid masked in her grade. I don’t think that protects her, but if everyone would do it, well…

[Anonymous]

People are obsessed with illnesses now. A decade ago no one would have even thought to ask a question like this or even really cared. People would have been encouraged to stay home if sick, but that was it.

[Anonymous]

The parents of the baby should just stay away, but that's apparently not going to happen.

I'm glad everyone is trying to be careful, as I have caught so many bad illnesses visiting with inconsiderate people at the holidays pre Covid, but if you have an baby without vaccines you really have to stay at home to stay safe.