Prom expenses

Anonymous
I've worked from the day I turned 14 (literally I wanted to be dropped off to apply for a job as soon as I qualified) and am still working 18 years later.

The extra prom expenses are exactly the kind of thing my money would have covered.

IMO, working, even for kids who don't "need" to, is a huge confidence, life skill builder. There are so many skills I use in my job today that I learned dealing with difficult people when I was a working teen.

Now- I would NEVER let my child work in a restaurant. I did do that, and had way too many deadbeat boyfriends that were way too old for me. Try to encourage them to work in peer-focused jobs where they are not meeting 28 year old Tom who is on probation for his latest DWI...
Anonymous
OP here. Thanks for your thoughts. Actually, I was being serious about the $150 budget. I recall getting my dress from JCPenneys back when I went to prom for around $80. But, more recently, I have had occasions to buy dresses for black-tie events (mostly work things), and I always manage to find a nice dress ($300 or more originally) for $100 or less (on sale). This includes a great deal from Saks Fifth Avenue... but I often shop at big department stores like Macys and Lord and Taylor, or smaller stores like Ann Taylor. Stores like that frequently run sales. I'm not really accustomed to spending $500 on a dress.

As for the rest, I was trying to get a sense of what parents today are doing. It seems like most of my daughter's friends are having all of their expenses covered by their parents. We are a little old-fashioned in that we like to teach some financial lessons and hope that she will use some money from her own savings to pay for "extras".
Anonymous
I had a job at 14 too. Bagel City on the pike. I am 37 now- so that's 23 years ago. Here's the thing- 14 year olds can't get hired anymore. I would LOVE LOVE LOVE for my 15 year old son to have a job. I don't want him mowing lawns, tutoring, or giving music lessons. My son already gives music lessons- he makes over $100 a week, and has 8 students. It's not about the money. I want my kid clocking in, having a boss, and seeing the reality of a weekend afternoon gone and pocketing the 30 bucks after taxes, so he will APPRECIATE a college education and what money can and can't buy. Problem is, no one hires kids anymore. Been to the dairy queens, the macdonalds, the bagel city's. Teenagers are the new untouchables in the work force.
Anonymous
22:15 - First, I agree with you. It is a sad state. I started working at 15 in order to pay for my "extras" plus college. My teen daughter looked for jobs, and didn't have much luck. The best "gig" seems to be babysitting, and it pays pretty well, at $10+/hour. She was told by several managers of stores (including a dairy queen) that teenagers prove to be unreliable again and again....

I'd like to say that my daughter is different, but after she finally found a job, she turned out to be unreliable. DH and I were very upset with her lack of motivation. She called in with less than 24 hours' notice, and for the wrong reasons (for example, prefer to go out with my friends on Friday night, so I don't want to go into work early on Saturday). DH and I are both hard workers, so this behavior greatly upset us. We expressed our disappointment and lectured her... without much impact. We actually began to hope that she would get fired, and learn a lesson, but that hasn't happened. Unfortunately, many teens today don't feel the "need" to work because their parents provide them with everything. I was the OP, and this whole prom event is not about us wanting to deprive her... it's about us wanting to teach her to save money to pay for something. She just argues that we're ogres because none of her friends have to pay for anything...

I'm not surprised when I read articles about kids "failing to launch" after college. Unless they are taught at some point that they need to be responsible for themselves, it is just not going to happen.
Anonymous
I think it is appropriate for you to set a budget, but you should do a little legwork to cost it out first. First, what does the ticket itself cost? She has no real control over that so maybe that should be built in. Have a talk with her about what SHE thinks is reasonable, go look at some dresses to get an idea of what her price range should be, etc. You may think $80 is doable for a dress, and then see nothing in that price range that you think is attractive/appropriate. If she finds a bargain, great, BUT she may not be able to (particularly if she has a size issue -- petite, plus sized, etc.) And then there are the "luxuries" (hair, makeup, limo) that are open to negotiation but which I would put more on her.
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