Arlington is the worst

[Anonymous]

Most parents I know in N Arlington don't become friends with their neighbors. We've lived in our house for 6 years and barely know our neighbors, including the ones with a kid in the same grade as ours. We've never connected socially. How is your reception at kid activities? Soccer? Girl Scouts? Boy scouts? PTA volunteering? Being a volunteer at activities really helps to start to make friends--that how I found a social circle.

I've also moved a lot and it takes about 2 years to really build a circle (or even the start of one). People are just really busy with kids and work. The first year is the hardest, but your phone doesn't really start to ring with invitations for about 2 years. It just takes time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Most parents I know in N Arlington don't become friends with their neighbors. We've lived in our house for 6 years and barely know our neighbors, including the ones with a kid in the same grade as ours. We've never connected socially. How is your reception at kid activities? Soccer? Girl Scouts? Boy scouts? PTA volunteering? Being a volunteer at activities really helps to start to make friends--that how I found a social circle.

I've also moved a lot and it takes about 2 years to really build a circle (or even the start of one). People are just really busy with kids and work. The first year is the hardest, but your phone doesn't really start to ring with invitations for about 2 years. It just takes time.

+1

I would give it a little more time. It can take a while to find friends.

And the mom at the bus stop was horrible. Ugh. There are definitely some horrible people here. BUT there are also many kind, down-to-earth people too. Please don’t judge everyone based on her.

Agree with the PP on trying to find friends via activities - either yours or your kids. How old are your kids? Rec soccer (Arlington Soccer Association) is a great way to meet other families.

[Anonymous]

This is some anti Arlington troll. I would have bought the cold shoulder, because neighbors don’t know neighbors that much, we are all working and carting kids around not hanging out in front yard all day. I have some neighbors I have met twice and we live next door!

But the woman asking which family you work for? That is not a thing — especially since your kids likely look like you and not the rest of the kids (come on, even half white kids have the the hair!). Now potentially a nanny would take a jump and assume you are a nanny to make a connection, but claiming it’s a mom, nonsense.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is some anti Arlington troll. I would have bought the cold shoulder, because neighbors don’t know neighbors that much, we are all working and carting kids around not hanging out in front yard all day. I have some neighbors I have met twice and we live next door!

But the woman asking which family you work for? That is not a thing — especially since your kids likely look like you and not the rest of the kids (come on, even half white kids have the the hair!). Now potentially a nanny would take a jump and assume you are a nanny to make a connection, but claiming it’s a mom, nonsense.

Strong detective work, but you realize that she was waiting for the bus on the first day of school?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is some anti Arlington troll. I would have bought the cold shoulder, because neighbors don’t know neighbors that much, we are all working and carting kids around not hanging out in front yard all day. I have some neighbors I have met twice and we live next door!

But the woman asking which family you work for? That is not a thing — especially since your kids likely look like you and not the rest of the kids (come on, even half white kids have the the hair!). Now potentially a nanny would take a jump and assume you are a nanny to make a connection, but claiming it’s a mom, nonsense.

About five years ago, someone called 911 because there was a Black person in the Whole Foods. Seems like Arlington hasn't changed much.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

But the woman asking which family you work for? That is not a thing — especially since your kids likely look like you and not the rest of the kids (come on, even half white kids have the the hair!). Now potentially a nanny would take a jump and assume you are a nanny to make a connection, but claiming it’s a mom, nonsense.

Umm or they were at the bus stop waiting for the kids to come home...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Agree with the performance liberalism, but neighborhood friendliness depends on your neighborhood. I live in south Arlington and I love it, but I've heard horror stories about north Arlington.

It depends on your street! I moved 2 blocks and found friends and a community after 5 years of polite smiles and waves, but no real conversations. We’re in “central” Arlington.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are not white and left for Fairfax when our kids were young. We never felt included in Arlington.

Meh, I am as white as they come — 98% Swiss and German according to 23 and Me — and I never felt so included in 22207.

I think people interpret generalized anxiety as snobbishness, however. IME living in the Jamestown/Williamsburg/Yorktown pyramid, it’s heavily populated by people suffering from imposter syndrome. The putting on airs thing is a defense mechanism.

As an anxious person I agree that people often interpret anxiety as snobbishness, however, there is really no reason that north Arlington should be suffering from more anxiety than south Arlington, where people drive a lot of old hondas. It's the money.

Or the lack of money. Being up to your eyeballs in debt causes anxiety.

Well that just proves my point more. If it was anxiety, perhaps it would be south Arlington that would be perceived as cold and snobbish since somebody in south Arlington is more likely than somebody in north Arlington to be hurting for cash. Let's not pretend that North Arlington is not a struggle for a lot of people because it has more than its fair share of snobs, and snobbishness is related to money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is some anti Arlington troll. I would have bought the cold shoulder, because neighbors don’t know neighbors that much, we are all working and carting kids around not hanging out in front yard all day. I have some neighbors I have met twice and we live next door!

But the woman asking which family you work for? That is not a thing — especially since your kids likely look like you and not the rest of the kids (come on, even half white kids have the the hair!). Now potentially a nanny would take a jump and assume you are a nanny to make a connection, but claiming it’s a mom, nonsense.

No force is more powerful than a privileged liberal north Arlington resident trying to prove that racism doesn’t exist in north Arlington.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is some anti Arlington troll. I would have bought the cold shoulder, because neighbors don’t know neighbors that much, we are all working and carting kids around not hanging out in front yard all day. I have some neighbors I have met twice and we live next door!

But the woman asking which family you work for? That is not a thing — especially since your kids likely look like you and not the rest of the kids (come on, even half white kids have the the hair!). Now potentially a nanny would take a jump and assume you are a nanny to make a connection, but claiming it’s a mom, nonsense.

No force is more powerful than a privileged liberal north Arlington resident trying to prove that racism doesn’t exist in north Arlington.

Whatever, I’m a POC too, and my kids don’t look like me because they were adopted. And still no one has ever asked me if I’m the nanny. (Though I did get grandma one time)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is some anti Arlington troll. I would have bought the cold shoulder, because neighbors don’t know neighbors that much, we are all working and carting kids around not hanging out in front yard all day. I have some neighbors I have met twice and we live next door!

But the woman asking which family you work for? That is not a thing — especially since your kids likely look like you and not the rest of the kids (come on, even half white kids have the the hair!). Now potentially a nanny would take a jump and assume you are a nanny to make a connection, but claiming it’s a mom, nonsense.

No force is more powerful than a privileged liberal north Arlington resident trying to prove that racism doesn’t exist in north Arlington.

Whatever, I’m a POC too, and my kids don’t look like me because they were adopted. And still no one has ever asked me if I’m the nanny. (Though I did get grandma one time)

Well then, if it never happened to you, then it never happened to anyone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is some anti Arlington troll. I would have bought the cold shoulder, because neighbors don’t know neighbors that much, we are all working and carting kids around not hanging out in front yard all day. I have some neighbors I have met twice and we live next door!

But the woman asking which family you work for? That is not a thing — especially since your kids likely look like you and not the rest of the kids (come on, even half white kids have the the hair!). Now potentially a nanny would take a jump and assume you are a nanny to make a connection, but claiming it’s a mom, nonsense.

No force is more powerful than a privileged liberal north Arlington resident trying to prove that racism doesn’t exist in north Arlington.

Whatever, I’m a POC too, and my kids don’t look like me because they were adopted. And still no one has ever asked me if I’m the nanny. (Though I did get grandma one time)

Well then, if it never happened to you, then it never happened to anyone.

How is that different from OP extrapolating one alleged bad behavior to disparage an entire county?

I will say, you are more likely to be excluded if you are a working mom in a SAHM hood — maybe OP does see that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is some anti Arlington troll. I would have bought the cold shoulder, because neighbors don’t know neighbors that much, we are all working and carting kids around not hanging out in front yard all day. I have some neighbors I have met twice and we live next door!

But the woman asking which family you work for? That is not a thing — especially since your kids likely look like you and not the rest of the kids (come on, even half white kids have the the hair!). Now potentially a nanny would take a jump and assume you are a nanny to make a connection, but claiming it’s a mom, nonsense.

About five years ago, someone called 911 because there was a Black person in the Whole Foods. Seems like Arlington hasn't changed much.

That's really odd given how diverse the customers/staff are.

[Anonymous]

Come to Fairfax Station. You are welcome here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For work reasons, we moved to Arlington last year from a fairly middle-class neighborhood of Loudoun County. We are the only Black family in our new neighborhood, and we were the only Black family in our old neighborhood. In Loudoun, we were friends with most of the neighbors on our block, our kids were invited to birthday parties, etc. We probably didn't share the political views of at least some of our neighbors but it never really came up. In Arlington, many of the homes - not ours -- are quite expensive, with fancy cars in the driveway. Many of the homes have Black Lives Matter and similar signs. Yet we have found, without exception, that the neighbors want nothing to do with us. It's a very insulated, cliquish community, and the moms generally act like they are still in high school. Once, while waiting to pick up my kids at the bus, I was asked which family I work for. This entire place has a phony kind of liberalism that is just awful.

That sucks. Come to Alexandria, I’m in Rosemont. I would love to have you as a neighbor!