Pushing kids and their mental health

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I do not plan to push my kid DMV-style and agree that it can lead to mental health strains. Kids deserve a childhood, and much more free play time (and less stress) than we give them here.

On the flip side, though, parents should be aware that some anxiety, etc. is innate or inherited and you may get a high-strung kid obsessed with grades/achievement even if you take a laid-back approach. My parents both had intensive, pushy parents themselves so made the decision to be very laid-back and "your best is enough" with us. I was still an absolute obsessive neurotic freak when it came to achievement.

This. Nurture is important, but nature also matters.

I think mental and physical health are more important than anything. This area and others like it have a toxic culture around achievement and parenting, IMO.

- PhD high achiever and non-Marxist

Interesting.

Essentially, you agree with OP’s general premise, but do not place the blame (as she does) on “. . . we live in late stage capitalism and wealth inequality“

Correct?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I do not plan to push my kid DMV-style and agree that it can lead to mental health strains. Kids deserve a childhood, and much more free play time (and less stress) than we give them here.

On the flip side, though, parents should be aware that some anxiety, etc. is innate or inherited and you may get a high-strung kid obsessed with grades/achievement even if you take a laid-back approach. My parents both had intensive, pushy parents themselves so made the decision to be very laid-back and "your best is enough" with us. I was still an absolute obsessive neurotic freak when it came to achievement.

This. Nurture is important, but nature also matters.

I think mental and physical health are more important than anything. This area and others like it have a toxic culture around achievement and parenting, IMO.

- PhD high achiever and non-Marxist

Interesting.

Essentially, you agree with OP’s general premise, but do not place the blame (as she does) on “. . . we live in late stage capitalism and wealth inequality“

Correct?

I’m not that PP but I would say that’s my general opinion. I think the “it’s capitalism” point is outright silly. But I also think that blaming phones and social media is a cop-out, and pressure to achieve can be exceptionally toxic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I do not plan to push my kid DMV-style and agree that it can lead to mental health strains. Kids deserve a childhood, and much more free play time (and less stress) than we give them here.

On the flip side, though, parents should be aware that some anxiety, etc. is innate or inherited and you may get a high-strung kid obsessed with grades/achievement even if you take a laid-back approach. My parents both had intensive, pushy parents themselves so made the decision to be very laid-back and "your best is enough" with us. I was still an absolute obsessive neurotic freak when it came to achievement.

This. Nurture is important, but nature also matters.

I think mental and physical health are more important than anything. This area and others like it have a toxic culture around achievement and parenting, IMO.

- PhD high achiever and non-Marxist

Interesting.

Essentially, you agree with OP’s general premise, but do not place the blame (as she does) on “. . . we live in late stage capitalism and wealth inequality“

Correct?

I’m not that PP but I would say that’s my general opinion. I think the “it’s capitalism” point is outright silly. But I also think that blaming phones and social media is a cop-out, and pressure to achieve can be exceptionally toxic.

And why do you think there's such extraordinary high pressure to achieve? Is that not the effect of late capitalism?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I do not plan to push my kid DMV-style and agree that it can lead to mental health strains. Kids deserve a childhood, and much more free play time (and less stress) than we give them here.

On the flip side, though, parents should be aware that some anxiety, etc. is innate or inherited and you may get a high-strung kid obsessed with grades/achievement even if you take a laid-back approach. My parents both had intensive, pushy parents themselves so made the decision to be very laid-back and "your best is enough" with us. I was still an absolute obsessive neurotic freak when it came to achievement.

This. Nurture is important, but nature also matters.

I think mental and physical health are more important than anything. This area and others like it have a toxic culture around achievement and parenting, IMO.

- PhD high achiever and non-Marxist

Interesting.

Essentially, you agree with OP’s general premise, but do not place the blame (as she does) on “. . . we live in late stage capitalism and wealth inequality“

Correct?

I’m not that PP but I would say that’s my general opinion. I think the “it’s capitalism” point is outright silly. But I also think that blaming phones and social media is a cop-out, and pressure to achieve can be exceptionally toxic.

And why do you think there's such extraordinary high pressure to achieve? Is that not the effect of late capitalism?

No, I don’t think so. Or rather, it’s not because of worry about jobs and the future due to late stage capitalism (which I think is OPs somewhat muddled point). I suppose it is a type of late stage capitalism in that I think some of the pressure to achieve is the result of profoundly effective marketing from the higher education industry combined with a weakening of traditional spots where community was built. When families don’t have deep community ties, achievement becomes a way to create that lacking community. That doesn’t seem to be what OP is referring to, though. And in general I really don’t buy this overly dramatic late stage capitalism nonsense.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, it’s controlling parents + social media/tech + the exorbitant cost of college, which makes teenagers and their worried parents do outrageous things to try and get “merit” or scholarships.

Instagram has been directly implicated in the suicide spike among teens - particularly teen girls.

Phones = declining mental health in teens.

Citation?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, it’s controlling parents + social media/tech + the exorbitant cost of college, which makes teenagers and their worried parents do outrageous things to try and get “merit” or scholarships.

Instagram has been directly implicated in the suicide spike among teens - particularly teen girls.

Phones = declining mental health in teens.

Citation?

I’m not that poster, but for Pete’s sake, try using Google before asking dumb questions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t think I had any more ‘control’ over my life when I was in school. I had less opportunities.

Fewer. You had fewer opportunities.