Boarding School

[Anonymous]

I went to boarding school. I went off the rails a bit, drank, did drugs, snuck out to places that horrify me now, as an adult thinking about what I did as a child. I don’t think this is the norm but it do think it’s common enough. Got a great education, but I would not send my kids. Not necessarily because I think they’d do what I did but bc I do want them those four years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why does your child want to go is the better question?

OP here. DC is very independent. The kind of kid who went to sleepaway camp at age 7 and at age 11 is begging to spend the entire summer there. There are no red flags. We have a good relationship and they have friends and make good grades. I think it's just wanting to be independent and think it would be more fun to live with friends than parents.

[Anonymous]

My spouse went to boarding school and had a pretty bad experience. Got bullied and his parents were pretty clueless. There is obviously no reprieve of home when you life among your peers. He also partied a ton junior year in high school and then his grades really suffered and that hurt him when he applied for college. He is a very independent personality and I think probably got some very good qualities from moving away from home so young but he's not very emotionally connected to his parents at all.

In general, I don't get it. They are still kids.

[Anonymous]

OP again. I really appreciate all of these replies. I have an older kid starting HS this year and he would never want to attend BS and I would never consider it for him. Kids have different needs.

Thrilled to hear that 10th grade is a common entry year. I did not know that.

I, too, had thought of the 5 day option, but would love to hear from others how that worked out. I worry that they would miss out on social activities if they were gone every weekend. I can't see choosing a school more than a three hour drive away. I was in a serious accident as a HS student and can't imagine if my parents would not have been able to be at the hospital with me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why does your child want to go is the better question?

OP here. DC is very independent. The kind of kid who went to sleepaway camp at age 7 and at age 11 is begging to spend the entire summer there. There are no red flags. We have a good relationship and they have friends and make good grades. I think it's just wanting to be independent and think it would be more fun to live with friends than parents.

My older son is just like this and he’s going into his second year at Mercersburg. The experience has been an incredible one for him and students like him who are seeking the boarding school experience. I’ve always felt that it must come from the student- no kid should be pushed into boarding school. The sacrifice is on us as parents who miss them dearly, but thankfully with a 90 minute drive we can catch most of his games and take him to dinner often, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP again. I really appreciate all of these replies. I have an older kid starting HS this year and he would never want to attend BS and I would never consider it for him. Kids have different needs.

Thrilled to hear that 10th grade is a common entry year. I did not know that.

I, too, had thought of the 5 day option, but would love to hear from others how that worked out. I worry that they would miss out on social activities if they were gone every weekend. I can't see choosing a school more than a three hour drive away. I was in a serious accident as a HS student and can't imagine if my parents would not have been able to be at the hospital with me.

Mercersburg mom again. MB is 85% boarding so most students are on campus 7 days a week.
While you can leave for approved family weekends, the students want to be there and the school keeps them very busy between athletics, special programming, trips, etc. I believe there is a significant new 10th grade group of students entering this fall. The head of admissions grew up in McLean so it’s a nice local connection.

[Anonymous]

I went and my older daughter attends. It’s an amazing experience. Recently she was asked by her driving instructor if she was excited to go back to school. She said, “I am, actually!”. He told her she was the first person that week to say yes.

I FaceTime with her almost every day and when she comes home for weekends, breaks, summer, she spends almost all of her time with us-goes out here and there for dinners with friends but really takes advantage of the time together. Meanwhile I have local friends who say they never see their high schooler. Every family makes a decision that works for them but its not sometthint to rule out just because you didn’t experience it yourself. I know a lot of my daughters friends wanted to go or at least open the possibility and the parents didn’t allow but the kids are now miserable at home…

I’m not saying every kid at home is miserable and doesn’t see her parents but the gift to your child is to let them have some ownership and autonomy about their school choices and they’ll be a lot more invested in the process.

[Anonymous]

OP here. This has been really helpful. Thanks for all the thoughtful replies.

[Anonymous]

My youngest sister went to boarding school and liked it well enough to persuade her husband to send their sons to the same school. For them, it worked out well. The school is only about 2 hours from their home, so it was easy to travel there for athletic and other events. That said, I've never understood the appeal for parents and kids where there are many and varied local school options, as there are in this area. Our three kids attend/ed three different day schools in the DMV and all were happy. Plus, DH and I really like having them and their friends around. There's a lot you can learn about your kids even in those few moments during a ride to school or when they come downstairs for a late night snack. Those small and fleeting and unpredictable moments can be openings for them to talk and for you to listen. Just my 2 cents.