Do you talk with your partner/family about weight loss?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t talk about it. For some reason, when I have in the past, it seems like DH (who is stick thin by nature) doubles down on sugary desserts, chips, ice cream, etc. which makes it hard for me to stay on track with all those easy quick foods in the kitchen.

It works better now that it is my “secret”.

Except for the fact that my DH isn't stick thin, or thin at all, all of this sound like my situation.

I mean, I'm fine, I'm internally motivated most of the time, but apparently I'd like more than nothing in terms of support (and certainly not hostility toward my goals), but maybe I'll just have to assume I won't get it.

Pp with stick thin DH here…
Weight Watchers has a very supportive online community. Have you tried anything like that?

No, I won't do that, most likely. I just feel like I'm "hiding" something from my family, y'know? Like my goal to lose 10 pounds is shameful or something.

It's not shameful but I think the PP who said it's boring to other people probably has it right. Your husnand probably doesnt notice, and if he notices probably doesn't care (outside of the fact that you care), and I am certain he's not thinking about a tight waistband for five hours a day like we might be. I think you need to find support elsewhere and ask him for behavior rather than interest - please don't bring brownies home, etc. I think on balance, it's probably better for him not to be invested with your weight than it is for him to care too much, if those are the options?

I've asked at other times that processed foods not be brought home, but DH is like "they(meaning storebough cookies or whatever) are fine" ... I guess we differ on that assessment. So, I think you are right, it is better that he is not invested or even notice what I'm doing. I know that trying to lose 10 pounds isn't shameful, but that is the vibe I get from my family ... Well, I must have internalized that feeling somehow.

[Anonymous]

I do all the grocery shopping so just don’t bring that stuff home. If other people in the family want sweets and junk snacks, they have to make the effort to go out and get it.

But, I’ve been cutting simple processed carbs for a few months now and if my spouse grills my food automatically goes on a bun and then he gets agitated when I remove the bun and don’t eat it and insists he didn’t know I’ve cut out white bread. Which I haven’t eaten in months.

I have two real life friends who are also working on weight loss and we cheer each other on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t talk about it. For some reason, when I have in the past, it seems like DH (who is stick thin by nature) doubles down on sugary desserts, chips, ice cream, etc. which makes it hard for me to stay on track with all those easy quick foods in the kitchen.

It works better now that it is my “secret”.

Except for the fact that my DH isn't stick thin, or thin at all, all of this sound like my situation.

I mean, I'm fine, I'm internally motivated most of the time, but apparently I'd like more than nothing in terms of support (and certainly not hostility toward my goals), but maybe I'll just have to assume I won't get it.

Pp with stick thin DH here…
Weight Watchers has a very supportive online community. Have you tried anything like that?

No, I won't do that, most likely. I just feel like I'm "hiding" something from my family, y'know? Like my goal to lose 10 pounds is shameful or something.

It's not shameful but I think the PP who said it's boring to other people probably has it right. Your husnand probably doesnt notice, and if he notices probably doesn't care (outside of the fact that you care), and I am certain he's not thinking about a tight waistband for five hours a day like we might be. I think you need to find support elsewhere and ask him for behavior rather than interest - please don't bring brownies home, etc. I think on balance, it's probably better for him not to be invested with your weight than it is for him to care too much, if those are the options?

I've asked at other times that processed foods not be brought home, but DH is like "they(meaning storebough cookies or whatever) are fine" ... I guess we differ on that assessment. So, I think you are right, it is better that he is not invested or even notice what I'm doing. I know that trying to lose 10 pounds isn't shameful, but that is the vibe I get from my family ... Well, I must have internalized that feeling somehow.

I am the PP and it's a real mind-f*** being a brain in a body! I really, really get it. Going through something a little similar myself right now.

I think it helps to remember that this is really something we only experience for ourselves. Ask him not to bring home any cookies while you're doing this, if it helps, maybe? Or to only bring home single serving treats that he is going to consume himself, immediately? I feel like rules really help in situations like this (assuming he'd try to abide them).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just posted on my FB feed (to a limited group of people, removing anyone who might have a negative comment), looking for friends with apple watches. I might not talk to them about my weight loss goals, but at hopefully we can close some rings together.

I'd love to friend some people here, but I don't want to post my digits.

Ok I'll post mine. Age 53, height 5'7, back at the beginning of May 167 lbs, today 146.5 lbs
Aiming for 135 but may just end up leveling off around 140

Oh, I meant my phone digits, so I can add friends on my Apple watch.

You are doing great! I'm working on the same 25 pounds that I lose every few years. This time, ZERO diets. All activity. It will be slower, but hope that I will eventually get there.

Ah! Sorry. Well it sounds like you're also doing well.

[Anonymous]

I do talk to my DH about my fitness but not really weight loss. He seems to be generally attentive when I talk about a weightlifting goal I’ve reached or if I’m excited to see visible shoulder muscle or something. He definitely tunes out if I talk about my weight. He overheard me recently telling my MIL I lost 25 pounds and he seemed surprised. I’ve turned to Facebook fitness groups for moral support!

[Anonymous]

I talk to absolutely NO one about weight loss efforts or anything medical. I find it super depressing to hear all the quack suggestions and misinformed advice, especially from DH and family. I feel isolated and alone when confronted with so much well-intended stupidity and get angry with myself for being irritable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I talk to absolutely NO one about weight loss efforts or anything medical. I find it super depressing to hear all the quack suggestions and misinformed advice, especially from DH and family. I feel isolated and alone when confronted with so much well-intended stupidity and get angry with myself for being irritable.

Yes!!

DH never liked to hear my fitness goals either. Just dull to him. He did not and does not care how fast I can run or if I can do a pull up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I talk to absolutely NO one about weight loss efforts or anything medical. I find it super depressing to hear all the quack suggestions and misinformed advice, especially from DH and family. I feel isolated and alone when confronted with so much well-intended stupidity and get angry with myself for being irritable.

Yes!!

DH never liked to hear my fitness goals either. Just dull to him. He did not and does not care how fast I can run or if I can do a pull up.

Np. Can you do a pull-up?! I can’t. Someday…

[Anonymous]

I don't mention it to DH, because he'll get excited, join in, drop weight way faster, and then I'll feel bad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't mention it to DH, because he'll get excited, join in, drop weight way faster, and then I'll feel bad.

This made me laugh because it was so relatable.