Does your travel athlete play every tournament?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here.

FWIW, I'd have no problem with kids missing a tournament if it conflicted with a family wedding, or granny's 100th birthday celebration, or something significant.

But otherwise, I'm happy to take them. To be clear, kids are younger, so tournaments are all within an hour's drive, no overnights yet. Spouse gets really grouchy about it, even though spouse was on board with kids playing travel (for which said kids begged, and for whom rec coaches said it would be a good fit). Wanting to skip them just because, especially knowing kids will find out and desperately want to play, is causing me some stress.

Sorry OP, but you need to tell your spouse to man-up.

These are the years when the weekends are about the kids, not about him wanting to relax at a brewery on a beautiful Saturday.

And if he accepts that, he might find that he actually enjoys is

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here.

FWIW, I'd have no problem with kids missing a tournament if it conflicted with a family wedding, or granny's 100th birthday celebration, or something significant.

But otherwise, I'm happy to take them. To be clear, kids are younger, so tournaments are all within an hour's drive, no overnights yet. Spouse gets really grouchy about it, even though spouse was on board with kids playing travel (for which said kids begged, and for whom rec coaches said it would be a good fit). Wanting to skip them just because, especially knowing kids will find out and desperately want to play, is causing me some stress.

Why is your spouse grouchy about it, OP? What would they rather be doing? And do you think they are considering your kids’ feelings on the matter?

I do think your question may be more of a relationship forum one, but in the meantime, absolutely look into carpooling. Parents don’t need to be at every single game.

[Anonymous]

Yes- unless ill or for an important family event (wedding etc). Occasionally mine have missed for a long planned family vacation but the coaches are provided notice at the beginning of the season and/or when they are offered a spot on the team (months ahead of time).

How old is the kid?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here.

FWIW, I'd have no problem with kids missing a tournament if it conflicted with a family wedding, or granny's 100th birthday celebration, or something significant.

But otherwise, I'm happy to take them. To be clear, kids are younger, so tournaments are all within an hour's drive, no overnights yet. Spouse gets really grouchy about it, even though spouse was on board with kids playing travel (for which said kids begged, and for whom rec coaches said it would be a good fit). Wanting to skip them just because, especially knowing kids will find out and desperately want to play, is causing me some stress.

Why is your spouse grouchy about it, OP? What would they rather be doing? And do you think they are considering your kids’ feelings on the matter?

I do think your question may be more of a relationship forum one, but in the meantime, absolutely look into carpooling. Parents don’t need to be at every single game.

+1

Having weekends consumed by travel sports does feel suffocating at times. Even if only one parent takes the kid in question, the family ends up separated much of the weekend. Sometimes we all attend but that is not always possible because siblings have activities as well.

Even at the younger ages, carpooling can be incredibly helpful. You do not need to attend every game! It can really help lighten the load.

[Anonymous]

It’s pay to play. So if you want to skip a tournament do it. You owe the team and coach nothing. Some other kid will glad take your spot and the results are meaningless. No one even remembers what happen last game.

If your kid is a top player it will have no impact on their playing time. If your kid is a bottom 1/2 of the roster you will lose playing time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s pay to play. So if you want to skip a tournament do it. You owe the team and coach nothing. Some other kid will glad take your spot and the results are meaningless. No one even remembers what happen last game.

If your kid is a top player it will have no impact on their playing time. If your kid is a bottom 1/2 of the roster you will lose playing time.

To add to that last point, if your kid wants to play on the team next year and is a bottom 1/2 of the roster player you may lose your spot if you miss a lot of tournaments for a kid that is similar in level but more committed.

[Anonymous]

we have never missed a tournament. it is part of the commitment.

[Anonymous]

This is a no go. You don’t skip!! I’d recommend carpooling if you can’t make every game but your spouse is being a bad sport and teaching bad sportsmanship to your child.

[Anonymous]

I thought at first you meant if the college allows each player to play!

Yes we absolutely attend each tournament unless something major like a family wedding pops up. Coaches are clear on the commitment expectations.

[Anonymous]

^ coach not college

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It depends on the sport and the club. How many tournaments are they in and how big is the roster? DS's soccer team plays a handful a year and everyone goes to all of them. Meanwhile the basketball season is nothing more than a string of tournaments and missing some is expected.

We play high level bball travel. It is NOT expected to miss any tournament and looked won upon of not for injury. Context is important.

[Anonymous]

Yes we sign a contract saying we will play. If you have a sister getting married or a funeral that’s one thing. But you do not skip because it’s “toomuch”. Play rec only if you can’t handle it.

[Anonymous]

My spouse is also grouchy about it, but still recognizes the commitment. So he does it, but complains the whole time and sloughs off as much as is physically possible to me, like “oh, will you be back from Baltimore with kid 1 in time to get kid 2 to woodbridge. It’s annoying, but it’s the best way to get it all done with the minimum amount of griping possible. Maybe this could work in your house too?

[Anonymous]

You and your spouse need to get on the same page before it causes a rift in your family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Coach and teammates are counting on you. This is usually all disclosed upfront when you join the team.

I agree with PP. If it's "too much", you should switch to Rec

+1 yes, we absolutely play every tournament we are invited to. In fact, our agreement clearly states they are mandatory- even ones that are in California and cost $$$. I wouldn’t expect to be invited back to the team the following year if we skipped.