Contested Will/Estate

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My brother contested our aunt's will. She left everything to me and he got all pissed. He hardly called or visited her in the last 5 years of her life. He did not win. Our parents tried to pressure us to settle, meaning I split half and half with him. I would've done it anyway had he not sued me. So I fought to the end.

That’s such a jerk move by him. How much money did your aunt leave you? Do you have any kind of relationship with your brother now?

[Anonymous]

Siblings of DH's family contested their parents estate/will. Not a huge estate, mostly land, but enough to argue about. Basically IL's did not direct how to divide things up and just said "to share and share alike". Needless to say it got ugly and 5 years later most of them aren't talking to each other.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m in the thick of it now. It’s a huge mess and if the estate wasn’t substantial it wouldn’t be worth it. Aside from the gigantic expense of the lawyers it takes a huge emotional toll dealing with all the negativity from the other side. We’re over two years in and no closer to any resolution. Hearings get continued for seemingly no reason and there really is no reprieve. Im hoping to recoup about 1/3 of what I should have received but in my case if we didn’t pursue it the trustees would have just not distributed anything. The odds are stacked against the beneficiaries.

The trust in question in my family is written that if anyone contests it they don’t get anything but in our case we’re not contesting the terms of the trust, just the blatant theft of the assets by the trustees.

DP. Just trying to point out the obvious. You aren't contesting the will. You're trying to show theft. Two different things.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Siblings of DH's family contested their parents estate/will. Not a huge estate, mostly land, but enough to argue about. Basically IL's did not direct how to divide things up and just said "to share and share alike". Needless to say it got ugly and 5 years later most of them aren't talking to each other.

We had a situation like this in our family where one sibling wanted to take the “better” part of the estate assets- the part that had lower costs to own.

My spouse and I learned from this so we have written our wills that our children will have to split everything completely 50/50, so one doesn’t get to walk off with a more valuable/less risky asset than the other.

[Anonymous]

"My brother contested our aunt's will. She left everything to me and he got all pissed. He hardly called or visited her in the last 5 years of her life. He did not win. Our parents tried to pressure us to settle, meaning I split half and half with him. I would've done it anyway had he not sued me. So I fought to the end."

Pretty much whenever someone "leaves everything" to one person, it's a messed up situation that will cause conflict and hurt feelings. Hardly calling an aunt for the last 5 of what was probably at least 60 years of life is hardly grounds for cutting someone off. Why couldn't you have just split some of it with him?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Siblings of DH's family contested their parents estate/will. Not a huge estate, mostly land, but enough to argue about. Basically IL's did not direct how to divide things up and just said "to share and share alike". Needless to say it got ugly and 5 years later most of them aren't talking to each other.

Please say more. How did they not come to an equitable distribution?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Siblings of DH's family contested their parents estate/will. Not a huge estate, mostly land, but enough to argue about. Basically IL's did not direct how to divide things up and just said "to share and share alike". Needless to say it got ugly and 5 years later most of them aren't talking to each other.

We had a situation like this in our family where one sibling wanted to take the “better” part of the estate assets- the part that had lower costs to own.

My spouse and I learned from this so we have written our wills that our children will have to split everything completely 50/50, so one doesn’t get to walk off with a more valuable/less risky asset than the other.

Same! DH's sibling doesn't want to be burdened with the real estate so insisting all liquid assets be left to them and real estate to DH as "he is just better at that stuff." It's kind of crazy. the sibling even tried to talk to me about it. I just gave a pained smile and said I thought I heard one of my kids calling me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"My brother contested our aunt's will. She left everything to me and he got all pissed. He hardly called or visited her in the last 5 years of her life. He did not win. Our parents tried to pressure us to settle, meaning I split half and half with him. I would've done it anyway had he not sued me. So I fought to the end."

Pretty much whenever someone "leaves everything" to one person, it's a messed up situation that will cause conflict and hurt feelings. Hardly calling an aunt for the last 5 of what was probably at least 60 years of life is hardly grounds for cutting someone off. Why couldn't you have just split some of it with him?

Yeah, I pretty much agree. How long passed before the brother contested?

When I hear these scenarios, I just don't understand why the recipient just doesn't make an offer to the sibling(s). Heck, I tried to save the remaining portion of the original family homestead from having to be sold off for Medicaid reasons as neither of my surviving siblings stand to inherit anything. DH and I have plenty of money, but I tried to keep something for them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"My brother contested our aunt's will. She left everything to me and he got all pissed. He hardly called or visited her in the last 5 years of her life. He did not win. Our parents tried to pressure us to settle, meaning I split half and half with him. I would've done it anyway had he not sued me. So I fought to the end."

Pretty much whenever someone "leaves everything" to one person, it's a messed up situation that will cause conflict and hurt feelings. Hardly calling an aunt for the last 5 of what was probably at least 60 years of life is hardly grounds for cutting someone off. Why couldn't you have just split some of it with him?

Yeah, I pretty much agree. How long passed before the brother contested?

When I hear these scenarios, I just don't understand why the recipient just doesn't make an offer to the sibling(s). Heck, I tried to save the remaining portion of the original family homestead from having to be sold off for Medicaid reasons as neither of my surviving siblings stand to inherit anything. DH and I have plenty of money, but I tried to keep something for them.

Both of you are missing the point. In most of the cases where someone has been disinherited, the hurt has little to do with the money itself. It’s the emotional rejection. Sharing the money doesn’t change that.

[Anonymous]

New poster

Has anyone ever heard of a situation where the deceased changed the will to leave everything to a charity or organization, and nothing to their children? Are there any grounds for the children to contest the will?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:New poster

Has anyone ever heard of a situation where the deceased changed the will to leave everything to a charity or organization, and nothing to their children? Are there any grounds for the children to contest the will?

Happens all the time. It’s generally legal, unless the children are minors. You’d want to have a lawyer look at the will to make sure there are no flaws. In most states, the will needs to be explicit that the children are being disinherited, for example. The will can also be challenged if there is evidence that the deceased was incompetent.

[Anonymous]

We settled an estate via probate (DH was executor, although I handled a lot of the grunt work). Probate demands a lot of accountability from the executor. At the same time, if you need a little hand holding, they're there to help you out.

I don't know why people opt for trusts. Trusts make it so easy to steal money, they're a recipe for permanent family rifts. Nothing will cause a rift faster than siblings forced to take legal action against a family member - or watch that family member steal the trust blind.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"My brother contested our aunt's will. She left everything to me and he got all pissed. He hardly called or visited her in the last 5 years of her life. He did not win. Our parents tried to pressure us to settle, meaning I split half and half with him. I would've done it anyway had he not sued me. So I fought to the end."

Pretty much whenever someone "leaves everything" to one person, it's a messed up situation that will cause conflict and hurt feelings. Hardly calling an aunt for the last 5 of what was probably at least 60 years of life is hardly grounds for cutting someone off. Why couldn't you have just split some of it with him?

Yeah, I pretty much agree. How long passed before the brother contested?

When I hear these scenarios, I just don't understand why the recipient just doesn't make an offer to the sibling(s). Heck, I tried to save the remaining portion of the original family homestead from having to be sold off for Medicaid reasons as neither of my surviving siblings stand to inherit anything. DH and I have plenty of money, but I tried to keep something for them.

The last two sentences of the post say if the brother hadn’t sued her she would’ve split it. It sounds like he jumped the gun and went straight for the throat instead of discussing the situation with her and letting her make an offer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:New poster

Has anyone ever heard of a situation where the deceased changed the will to leave everything to a charity or organization, and nothing to their children? Are there any grounds for the children to contest the will?

My dad left everything to Joel Osteen and have his kids about 10k each. It wouldn’t have been so insane if it hadn’t been a 10m estate. He was left 5m by his parents (he was an only child) with the instructions that he should “provide for his family.” We just laugh about it now. This is why I feel strongly that grandparents should provide for grandchildren and not just their children (at least if their intent is that their money be passed down).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:New poster

Has anyone ever heard of a situation where the deceased changed the will to leave everything to a charity or organization, and nothing to their children? Are there any grounds for the children to contest the will?

My dad left everything to Joel Osteen and have his kids about 10k each. It wouldn’t have been so insane if it hadn’t been a 10m estate. He was left 5m by his parents (he was an only child) with the instructions that he should “provide for his family.” We just laugh about it now. This is why I feel strongly that grandparents should provide for grandchildren and not just their children (at least if their intent is that their money be passed down).

I have a friend whose parents did that and her brother is suing because he has no children. The parents left their estate 50% to their children and 50% to their grandchildren. My friend is extremely upset by it.