How does Right of First Refusal work in this scenario?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You would really invoke this for a grandparent visit? Do you hate your ex-DH’s parents?

There are plenty of grandparents who have no business watching kids overnight. I don't hate my mom, but i don't let her watch my kids alone. Luckily my kids dad does hate her, so he's not going to drop them off there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You would really invoke this for a grandparent visit? Do you hate your ex-DH’s parents?

There are plenty of grandparents who have no business watching kids overnight. I don't hate my mom, but i don't let her watch my kids alone. Luckily my kids dad does hate her, so he's not going to drop them off there.

Sure, but the OP doesn’t say that the grandparent is unfit. Just that she wants to keep the time for herself. Barring a problem with the grandparent, I would not interfere in this relationship. It will not reflect well on you in the kids’ eyes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not sure using his parents to babysit for an event, even with one overnight, is considered that he has to have to offer it to you first. If he was going on a week vacation, or a bigger amount of time away, then the right of first refusal should apply. He is entitled to have his parents or a babysitter to watch the children during his legal time with them.

This! Take a deep breath, OP. It’ll be a long road for you. Choose your battles wisely.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not sure using his parents to babysit for an event, even with one overnight, is considered that he has to have to offer it to you first. If he was going on a week vacation, or a bigger amount of time away, then the right of first refusal should apply. He is entitled to have his parents or a babysitter to watch the children during his legal time with them.

This! Take a deep breath, OP. It’ll be a long road for you. Choose your battles wisely.

+1

You don't want to appear to be a shrieking harpy in front of everyone, most especially your kids.

[Anonymous]

OP, do you ever use a babysitter, day care or any other child care? Do you always offer to Dad first?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I actually think your ex is using his time well. He probably wants to give his mom one-on-one grandparent time and this way he doesn’t reduce the amount of time he gets to spend with his kid. For an overnight, I also don’t think this kick in right of first refusal territory. He isn’t leaving the kids with paid caregivers or strangers. With his time he is allowed to arrange grandparent visits.

Me too, and I loathe my ex and his family.

Are you recently separated/divorced? Let go of the idea you can control his parenting time to help you not suffer. It sucks but it’s necessary. Good luck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, do you ever use a babysitter, day care or any other child care? Do you always offer to Dad first?

You don't seem to understand how ROFR works. I have it and always offer (any time over 4 hours in my rofr) to Dad, and he offers same to me. Of course we use child care-we both work full time. For example, today is my parenting time and I am working. Dad has today off, I offer Dad the day with dc because it is summer and dc are not in school. I pick up dc from him after work if he chooses the time. If he does not, dc goes to childcare.

[Anonymous]

How old is the child?