Wwyd: Three going on four year old says he only wants a family birthday party?

[Anonymous]

If he changes his mind last minute, invite two school buddies home for a playdate after school and call it a party. Serve them cupcakes and let them do something special.

Totally agree that you listen to him and just plan for family right now.

[Anonymous]

He might change his mind once he's back in school in the fall, around his friends daily, seeing people, celebrating other early Fall birthdays in the classroom, etc.

It's hard for their little minds to project that far into the future or even know what they want.
Plan on the nuclear family celebration for sure. Have loose plans for a kid's party (research venues, look at the calendar, general stuff).

Maybe having 3 or 4 of his closest buddies come over to play or go out somewhere special together (new playground, carousel ride, train ride, mini golf, etc) + cupcakes might be his idea of a party and a good compromise.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He might change his mind once he's back in school in the fall, around his friends daily, seeing people, celebrating other early Fall birthdays in the classroom, etc.

It's hard for their little minds to project that far into the future or even know what they want.
Plan on the nuclear family celebration for sure. Have loose plans for a kid's party (research venues, look at the calendar, general stuff).

Maybe having 3 or 4 of his closest buddies come over to play or go out somewhere special together (new playground, carousel ride, train ride, mini golf, etc) + cupcakes might be his idea of a party and a good compromise.

I’m an adult and still often don’t know what I want for my birthday when my mother asks me in June. It’s way to early to be asking at that age. Just check in with him closer to his birthday and follow his wishes then.

[Anonymous]

Take it at face value. My son wanted the same thing at the same age and that is what we did. It was a Pokemon party and we put up decorations, all (all four of us) got goody bags, and played some games. I made a Pokemon ball cake. He loved it.

He is now 22 and that party really did reflect who he was and is.

[Anonymous]

We just did this for my 4 year old DS. He didn't want a birthday party and only wanted grandparents. We also did an outing with him.

I think the only people disappointed there wasn't a party were my inlaws.

[Anonymous]

My nephew was like this, wanted special dinner and cake with family. Didn't invite friends to celebrate until his 8th birthday.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My nephew was like this, wanted special dinner and cake with family. Didn't invite friends to celebrate until his 8th birthday.

To add, he has an older brother who did have parties, so it was definitely a choice he was making.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Take him at his word but also ask again a month before his birthday. September is forever away for a 3 year old.

+1 Nothing wrong with a family party. But I agree that July is a little early to lock a preschooler into this answer. I also don't know why you've asked him twice already when his bday is several months away.

Only because I’m not totally comfortable doing an indoor birthday party yet with Covid and would need to think through a suitable alternative if he did want a party with friends.

No wonder your kid is scared to have a party, he probably wants it inside somewhere and just tells you family so he won't have to deal with you. It's been almost 3 years, time to move in.

[Anonymous]

Take him at face value and make the day how he wants it. If he changes his mind at the last minute, it’s easy to patch together a fun party for a four-year-old. Local park, some balloons, some field-day-type games, and a cake.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Take him at his word but also ask again a month before his birthday. September is forever away for a 3 year old.

+1 Nothing wrong with a family party. But I agree that July is a little early to lock a preschooler into this answer. I also don't know why you've asked him twice already when his bday is several months away.

Only because I’m not totally comfortable doing an indoor birthday party yet with Covid and would need to think through a suitable alternative if he did want a party with friends.

No wonder your kid is scared to have a party, he probably wants it inside somewhere and just tells you family so he won't have to deal with you. It's been almost 3 years, time to move in.

I assure you that, sharp as he is, my three year old has not quite mastered that level of resentment yet.

Thanks everyone for your helpful input (some more so than others.) will gladly plan a small family event and play it by ear on the friends part, and plan something last minute if he changes his mind.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Take it at face value. My son wanted the same thing at the same age and that is what we did. It was a Pokemon party and we put up decorations, all (all four of us) got goody bags, and played some games. I made a Pokemon ball cake. He loved it.

He is now 22 and that party really did reflect who he was and is.

Op here. This is adorable and memorable. Love it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Take him at his word. Big parties are overwhelming at that age.

Not really, maybe for your child

[Anonymous]

I don’t even do parties until they are 5. Too overwhelming or a chance if someone having a meltdown. I have always planned a fun outing based around what they like - ie trains or something - and way prefer that.

[Anonymous]

Even my DD turning 5 wanted just family. No reason not to believe your kid. Also not the end of the world if he changes his mind but doesn't get it this year.

[Anonymous]

At his age - he is old enough to verbalize what he wants so I say let him celebrate w/the family.

If he gets upset the day of just remind him what he had requested earlier and how you already made plans for just family.

You could also tell him that you can plan a fun, friends only outing later on if he wants it! 🥳