Did your child become more intellectually curious in college?

[Anonymous]

My older kid was always intellectually curious and a big reader. She did tend to dive in deeply to a subject she loved in college and wasn’t especially interested in taking classes outside her discipline. She’s always been a big reader and is informed about politics and world events. My second kid has never read a book for pleasure, and never had any interest in particular classes in HS. He did the minimum necessary to get all As so he had a lot of options to play his sport in college. We were relieved that he did indeed get excited about several classes in college, though he still seems to see the world through the lens of his and other sports.

My DH never read a book for pleasure until years after law school. Now he’s a very passionate reader, and extremely well-informed in general. I really think it’s true that the brain doesn’t develop fully until the 20s for many people.

[Anonymous]

Most people need to be motivated to expend energy. In the DMV, intellectual curiosity is not rewarded in HS, but checking the boxes of acing rigorous courses and national tests and getting admitted to a great college is. At that point, the kid is numb and burned out, but the mission is accomplished. It takes time at college - and with less parental involvement - for the kid to unwind and contemplate what now motivates him/her. Until they find their own internal motivation, intellectual curiosity will be weak.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Absolutely. Mine went from TJ to a SLAC. After 4 years of not having a lot of choices in what to take because she did 4 years of fine arts, and had almost no elective slots, plus finding classes very stressful, she’s able to do a second major for fun, explore the curriculum, take classes that bring together several subjects and be in a much less cutthroat environment. She’s still in a STEM major, but is fulfilling divisionals by taking all sorts of classes just because they are interesting and doing research she loves with her advisor.

College is just a healthier environment.

This is by kid's experience as well. High school at a large public magnet, tons of AP classes, little flexibility and lots of stress (some self-imposed, to be honest). Now at a SLAC that is a perfect fit - finding lots of new activities to get involved in, challenging but engaging classes that are more discussion based, happy to be researching and writing papers rather than taking tests, plays a club sport for fun, etc. He's definitely expanded his interests and has a group of friends with wide ranging interests, too. His college encourages students to take classes outside their majors. Overall, he feels less stifled and that has led him to broaden his interests and activities.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kid is smart, did well in HS and is going to a top 20 college but seems basically uninterested in school. History? Boring. Math? too hard. English? Irrelevant.

Is this being 18? Should I worry? Did your not very intellectually curious kid change in college? (Hoping I get some "yes" answers).

What exactly do you mean by this? Please don't tell me it's just grades and getting into a half-decent college. Over 50% of all U.S. 12th graders have A average GPAs.

[Anonymous]

Kids are who they are by 17 or 18. If you've been riding your teen 9th-12th, reminding them to do homework and complete assignments, and being a helicopter with their teachers, you can safely bet on them regressing to who they really are once they're not under your control. An irresponsible slacker who will probably have mediocre good not great grades and probably pursue an easy major. Probably will bomb a course here and there. Who cares, mom and dad are paying!

[Anonymous]

You are all so wonderful and so blessed with your intellectually curious children. Ok?

[Anonymous]

Absolutely! After a couple weeks home for summer, they were ready to go back…..much more stimulating environment at college!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Most people need to be motivated to expend energy. In the DMV, intellectual curiosity is not rewarded in HS, but checking the boxes of acing rigorous courses and national tests and getting admitted to a great college is. At that point, the kid is numb and burned out, but the mission is accomplished. It takes time at college - and with less parental involvement - for the kid to unwind and contemplate what now motivates him/her. Until they find their own internal motivation, intellectual curiosity will be weak.

I don't see anything wrong with this! College is a means to an end, and excessive intellectual curiosity leads college students to make bad decisions (ie: entering into a PhD program in the humanities). The adults who are most satisfied with their college years treated their coursework like a job -- a painful slog to get through for a financial reward at the end. Anything else is for 1%er trust fund kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s sad to me that a kid who can get into a T20 hs no intellectual curiosity. This is what happens when you put test scores above all else. Kids can grit through it, but that does not make them hunger to learn.

OP, college will be more interesting if he picks a major he likes. I hope he finds something he enjoys and it lights a spark. Congrats to him on great admissions and I hope he ends up inspiried and enjoys college.

-1

This sounds like anti-Asian racism to me. I see so many white parents around me degrade high-achieving Asian students as "test score machines who grit through it without any hunger to learn." Who cares if they genuinely care about learning or not?! What high-achieving students like OP's kid have found is that life -- like school -- is like going through intensely unpleasant and painful things for a financial reward at the end. You grit your teeth through high school classes you may not like to do a college major you might not necessarily like to do a job you might not be passionate about SO YOU CAN PAY YOUR GODDAMN BILLS!!!!!! Anything else -- this intellectual curiosity, passion fluff -- is for rich kids who are independently wealthy.

[Anonymous]

Yes.

I have three kids. One always knew what she wanted to study and once she was able to do that in college, she was so happy to be free of general education that she bloomed.

The other was always curious and had a lot of interests and did a 180 on majors in college.

The last had a deep interest that they were able to explore - but developed a new interest in their minor. That new interest actually became the impetus for a post-graduation job.

Give your kid a bit of time. The first year of college may not be that intellectually exciting if they don't like their gen ed teachers. But sometimes it's a club, or a person with a unique perspective, or an elective that they never even planned to take but it satisfied the requirement and met at the right time - and it's like a lightbulb goes off.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kid is smart, did well in HS and is going to a top 20 college but seems basically uninterested in school. History? Boring. Math? too hard. English? Irrelevant.

Is this being 18? Should I worry? Did your not very intellectually curious kid change in college? (Hoping I get some "yes" answers).

Maybe they should take a gap year. College would be wasted on this kid. Are they just burned out?

[Anonymous]

Yes, with both kids. The oldest was always more intellectually curious. The younger one (now a 2nd year), always thought he knew enough to be successful, but I think his eyes have been open in college where he realizes there's a lot he doesn't know (known unknowns) and there's even more that he doesn't even realize he doesn't know (unknown unknowns)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:why do you care?

Intellectual curiousity.

[Anonymous]

Yes, across the board. And my previously indifferent student became passionate about Chemistry, despite having previously shown no interest in science at all.