Au pair for 3 young kids?

[Anonymous]

I have loved my au pairs for my one child. Very easy position for them. I cannot see any of them caring for 3. Not because they couldn't but because they would not be interested.

If the 2 older ones are in school/daycare you may be able to find someone.

You need to provide a regular schedule. Not an "as needed" one depending on your own work schedule. That would be true even if you go the nanny route.

[Anonymous]

No way

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What the heck is young woman drama?

Flakiness. Taking employer feedback very personally. Suddenly ditching work to spend time with boyfriend(s). Staying out late partying. General immaturity.

Also things like asking for time off because she got her period or being on tinder/looking for sugar daddies because they never intend to go back home.

If you're serious about the AP route, browse the AP forum and join some host family groups on FB. Don't go in blind thinking it's a great cultural exchange experience where you'll get childcare out of it. From APs perspective, some will say they're being treated as "slaves" if you make them work the full 45 hours/any weekends and don't have access to a car.

[Anonymous]

We hosted an Au pair for two years. I will not do it again for so many of the reasons above and also add another one - I grossly underestimated how much I would have having a 21 year old roommate. Ugh. Gladly switched back to a nanny. It was never about finding “cheap” childcare for us. I thought the flexibility would be great and also looked forward to a cultural exchange. My experience was less than stellar.

[Anonymous]

Hair all over the bathroom
Her dishes always left out or in the sink
Dietary restrictions so she needed $$$ food
Our partying
Smelling like a hangover at work
Giggling to her cell phone
Staying behind when we go on vacation and having people over at our house
The dramatics of friendships, boys, missing home

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hair all over the bathroom
Her dishes always left out or in the sink
Dietary restrictions so she needed $$$ food
Our partying
Smelling like a hangover at work
Giggling to her cell phone
Staying behind when we go on vacation and having people over at our house
The dramatics of friendships, boys, missing home

At least she was consistent about not doing the dishes? The pettiness of APs who tell each other to hand wash their dishes so they can be sure to ONLY do theirs and maybe the kids' too during work hours to avoid touching a dish that may have been the host parents' or produced by the kids when AP wasn't working is part of the "spirit" of the program.

[Anonymous]

OP, I also have three kids, older than yours but similar age spread. There's no WAY I would have relied on an au pair for childcare when they were little. Even now, it's not appealing. Keep in mind that you'll need a good bit of space for this person to live in, and also that most au pairs are very young themselves. I don't want a fourth child to parent.

I'd do either nanny or daycare, personally. If the latter, we found it worthwhile to be at an established center that had a robust preschool curriculum, so the kids could stay until kindergarten. Not cheap, but worth every penny, IME.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hair all over the bathroom
Her dishes always left out or in the sink
Dietary restrictions so she needed $$$ food
Our partying
Smelling like a hangover at work
Giggling to her cell phone
Staying behind when we go on vacation and having people over at our house
The dramatics of friendships, boys, missing home

At least she was consistent about not doing the dishes? The pettiness of APs who tell each other to hand wash their dishes so they can be sure to ONLY do theirs and maybe the kids' too during work hours to avoid touching a dish that may have been the host parents' or produced by the kids when AP wasn't working is part of the "spirit" of the program.

She isn't your maid. Wash your own dishes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I also have three kids, older than yours but similar age spread. There's no WAY I would have relied on an au pair for childcare when they were little. Even now, it's not appealing. Keep in mind that you'll need a good bit of space for this person to live in, and also that most au pairs are very young themselves. I don't want a fourth child to parent.

I'd do either nanny or daycare, personally. If the latter, we found it worthwhile to be at an established center that had a robust preschool curriculum, so the kids could stay until kindergarten. Not cheap, but worth every penny, IME.

We found the same. Right now we have one in a nannyshare and one in preschool (will enter k next year). It’s more driving but I feel like they’re both getting a lot out of it and far more engaged than they would be with an au pair.

[Anonymous]

No way. Most au pairs I know (and I know a few abs have seen way more in action at parks, library, etc) are not qualified to be caring for multiple young children. Caring for three kids under five is a lot of work. If you want it to be done well you either need to pay very well or do it yourself.

[Anonymous]

We’ve had au pairs for many years and now have three, ages 1, 4, and 8. People on this board dump on au pairs but in my experience they’re more than competent for the kind of care you want. We could easily afford a nanny’s hourly rate but no one would take our split schedule.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We’ve had au pairs for many years and now have three, ages 1, 4, and 8. People on this board dump on au pairs but in my experience they’re more than competent for the kind of care you want. We could easily afford a nanny’s hourly rate but no one would take our split schedule.

If you could afford a nanny’s hourly rate, then you could have a live-in nanny to accommodate your split schedule. People choose au pairs because they’re cheap. Otherwise no one would want to deal with women barely out of their teens who have to be replaced every 2 years to go back to their country. Continuity of care is a good thing for kids.

[Anonymous]

My brother and one co-worker have gone through this for years with varying success. At least one au pair could really only handle one child; they put the 3 year old in daycare the entire day so she could focus on the baby. They never leave the au pair alone with more than one kid, which has been very disruptive to their work. My brother has easier kids and has had good au pairs who were fine with his two kids but adding a third has been tough. I think it’s huge gamble.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We hosted an Au pair for two years. I will not do it again for so many of the reasons above and also add another one - I grossly underestimated how much I would have having a 21 year old roommate. Ugh. Gladly switched back to a nanny. It was never about finding “cheap” childcare for us. I thought the flexibility would be great and also looked forward to a cultural exchange. My experience was less than stellar.

Tell the truth. You opted for an au pair because you wanted the cheapest child care which does not speak well of you and how much you value your children's welfare,!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We hosted an Au pair for two years. I will not do it again for so many of the reasons above and also add another one - I grossly underestimated how much I would have having a 21 year old roommate. Ugh. Gladly switched back to a nanny. It was never about finding “cheap” childcare for us. I thought the flexibility would be great and also looked forward to a cultural exchange. My experience was less than stellar.

Tell the truth. You opted for an au pair because you wanted the cheapest child care which does not speak well of you and how much you value your children's welfare,!

Not the PP, but we had an aupair because of the split schedule too. If we could find a reliable nanny to take the job, we would have hired one. No one wants 6-8am and 3-5:30pm for hours except aupairs.