Financial support for adult children

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DD is 24. I help her pay for health insurance and she’s on my cell plan. I also pay when she goes on vacation with me. She lives in an apartment and that she pays for, along with everything else.

Why does she have a separate health insurance rather than under your plan until 26? Can save money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:1, net worth higher than 10 mil
2. 6 kids aged 36-28
3.left home at 17 no assistance

Each got the same
We pay cell bill and car insurance til graduation from college once they got jobs cut off. Each got car like an old civic or rav 4 to use from sophomore year college til they buy their own after jobs we gained. All worked summers in HS and college . Undergrad we paid for most things they contributed with summer jobs and jobs during the year. Grad school they paid everything except we paid for health ins til age 26.

I grew up with nothing.
I know what it is like to go to bed hungry.

It is not lost on me that we are extremely lucky,

I don’t get this tough love approach. As long as they are on the right track why not help more?

[Anonymous]

Paid for their college education and grad school. Health insurance on our plan until age 26. Will let one live at home after graduation if he gets job close by so he can save money. The other one married and I paid for wedding. Will not buy them a car but can have use of ours. Was going to help out with house down payment but with the recent recession, we have to think about our early retirement in the next few years first.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it depends on the situation. I have been clear with my kids they can/should come live with us a few years after graduate school to save money to buy their own house/retirement, etc. We'll keep them on our insurance until they can get their own (assuming they work and if not, they are on their own). We will pay for college and graduate school at a state school or on merit aid. We cannot afford an expensive private but they know that as younger kids and fine with it (or so they say). We expect them to work summers or get internships but I don't care how much them make vs. the experience. I don't want their money. I do want to teach them to save like my parents did by helping them open up a roth ira, etc.

Teaching them to save is so important. We had our DC open a Roth IRA as soon as they had income. We can afford to pay all expenses for them, so we explained to them the importance of starting to save early. Kid is 23 and now has over $30K in Roth which will be 250K+ at retirement age. Since we can afford it, we will continue to "gift our DC" the $ for their yearly Roth and for 8% 401K contribution at work (company matches up to 8%). It's really the best gift we can give, by setting them up with a strong retirement investments before they are 30. Because time is on their side, and you cannot go back and make up for it without needing to invest so much more later in life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1, net worth higher than 10 mil
2. 6 kids aged 36-28
3.left home at 17 no assistance

Each got the same
We pay cell bill and car insurance til graduation from college once they got jobs cut off. Each got car like an old civic or rav 4 to use from sophomore year college til they buy their own after jobs we gained. All worked summers in HS and college . Undergrad we paid for most things they contributed with summer jobs and jobs during the year. Grad school they paid everything except we paid for health ins til age 26.

I grew up with nothing.
I know what it is like to go to bed hungry.

It is not lost on me that we are extremely lucky,

I don’t get this tough love approach. As long as they are on the right track why not help more?

Yes, I don't get it either. I grew up poor, ate free lunch at school for at least 3 years whenever parents were not employed type of poor (so very lower middle class, as parents barely made enough for us not to get services when they were employed).

As long as my kids are working hard, we plan to help support them. As it is, my recent college grad is employed and doesn't want us to help much--for their self-esteem they want to "do it all themselves". They are very appreciative that college was paid for and they did not have to worry about money during college, like many of their friends did.
So with that attitude, they will be fine and are creating a budget and living within it. However, we will help wherever the DC will allow it. If they start wasting $$ and not being responsible, then we might not be as willing to help. But for now, they can stay on my amazon prime, use my Netflix, stay on the cell plan (and pay me if they so desire) simply because it makes financial sense to do so. And I will pay their auto insurance if needed, as it's actually almost $2K cheaper having them off my plan and on their own, so I'm already saving


I want to help my kids (and any future partners and grandkids) enjoy life while I'm alive. They will get plenty $$$ in the estate, but I'd rather they get some of it while I'm still alive and I can see them enjoy life. Why would I want them to struggle or not live at a better level. When they are ready to own a home, we can help them get a slightly nicer place by helping them with a downpayment, why wouldn't I do that? I don't need to build generational wealth that nobody gets to actually have until they are 50+ and we are dead.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:1, net worth higher than 10 mil
2. 6 kids aged 36-28
3.left home at 17 no assistance

Each got the same
We pay cell bill and car insurance til graduation from college once they got jobs cut off. Each got car like an old civic or rav 4 to use from sophomore year college til they buy their own after jobs we gained. All worked summers in HS and college . Undergrad we paid for most things they contributed with summer jobs and jobs during the year. Grad school they paid everything except we paid for health ins til age 26.

I grew up with nothing.
I know what it is like to go to bed hungry.

It is not lost on me that we are extremely lucky,

This was exactly what my parents did. Support through college graduation but then got cut off once I had secured my post college job (even though I only made 42k). It worked out well for me. I had to learn how to budget and live within my means and was motivated to grow my career and earnings. I think many parents do a disservice to their adult children. Do you have so little faith in your kids ability to thrive??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DD is 24. I help her pay for health insurance and she’s on my cell plan. I also pay when she goes on vacation with me. She lives in an apartment and that she pays for, along with everything else.

Why does she have a separate health insurance rather than under your plan until 26? Can save money.

Because it’s a high deductible plan and she doesn’t go to the doctor much. Since it’s a family plan the deductible is double, so I’d have to pay for $6,000 out of pocket rather than $3,000 before insurance kicks in.

[Anonymous]

We’ve set up our financial plan in that our kids will have a safety net their entire lives. We’ve protected said net from their future spouses and potential divorce.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We’ve set up our financial plan in that our kids will have a safety net their entire lives. We’ve protected said net from their future spouses and potential divorce.

Oh net with is a lot, not really relevant to be honest

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1, net worth higher than 10 mil
2. 6 kids aged 36-28
3.left home at 17 no assistance

Each got the same
We pay cell bill and car insurance til graduation from college once they got jobs cut off. Each got car like an old civic or rav 4 to use from sophomore year college til they buy their own after jobs we gained. All worked summers in HS and college . Undergrad we paid for most things they contributed with summer jobs and jobs during the year. Grad school they paid everything except we paid for health ins til age 26.

I grew up with nothing.
I know what it is like to go to bed hungry.

It is not lost on me that we are extremely lucky,

This was exactly what my parents did. Support through college graduation but then got cut off once I had secured my post college job (even though I only made 42k). It worked out well for me. I had to learn how to budget and live within my means and was motivated to grow my career and earnings. I think many parents do a disservice to their adult children. Do you have so little faith in your kids ability to thrive??

We have provided for our kids post college and beyond. Why do you think we have done a disservice to our kids? To answer, we have complete faith in our kids ability to survie, thrive, and beyond. It's not because who they are, not what we have or have not done. Same goes to you. You are successful because who you are, not because your parents cut off providing after some magical date/age.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you provide financial assistance to your neurotypical adult children beyond undergrad, (1) what is your income/net worth, (2) how much do you provide per child and for how long do you plan to provide them with financial assistance, and (3) did you receive assistance from your parents or other family members as an adult?

1. Seven figures
2. We pay for Netflix, Amazon Prime, cell phones, Uber, and I think that's it? We're happy to provide it indefinitely
3. DH and I both have trusts. So yes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you provide financial assistance to your neurotypical adult children beyond undergrad, (1) what is your income/net worth, (2) how much do you provide per child and for how long do you plan to provide them with financial assistance, and (3) did you receive assistance from your parents or other family members as an adult?

1. Seven figures
2. We pay for Netflix, Amazon Prime, cell phones, Uber, and I think that's it? We're happy to provide it indefinitely
3. DH and I both have trusts. So yes.

This doesn't seem like you're providing "financial support for your adult children." How much is this all worth? Maybe $250 per month?

[Anonymous]

1. aprox $10M
2. Oldest was lived at home rent free for a year, saved a bunch of money and then launched. Two others in college and we pay tution/room & board, healthcare, cell phones and all got used cars. Spending money and gas on them.
3. Kinda sorta, was allowed home and boomeranged in and out, but paid my own way through college/grad school.

I will say we saved money for kids college and said whatever they had at the end was theirs. Oldest went to a state school and between the money left and saving by staying at home a year was able to put a down payment on a TH and has leveraged that. Second is at a T20 and will have very little money left BUT are in a high demand STEM major and will most likely make bank when they graduate. Youngest is in a state school and got a scholarship. They will have a ton of money left. They are already plotting what they will do (grad school/business start up/investment.....)

[Anonymous]

I am 40 and my parents gift me $25K per year and also pay for (most of) my groceries, my auto insurance, my cell phone, etc. I am still responsible and save a lot of my income. I want to get rich soon, damn it!

[Anonymous]

Each of our 3 adult kids gets 32k a year (none are married yet). It is estate planning for us, but I am sure it is financial help for them. Once they get married and have kids we should be able to give gifts to everyone and max out the 529s.