Empty nesters... financial impact of kids leaving?

[Anonymous]

You are paying for a $20k condo and giving them downpayment assistance (or a house!) but asking them to chip in $30/month for cell phones?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You are paying for a $20k condo and giving them downpayment assistance (or a house!) but asking them to chip in $30/month for cell phones?

NP - there's a difference between helping out with one-time expenses like downpayments, or treating your kids to a vacation (which, really, is in your own self-interest), and footing monthly bills that are just the cost of life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My Dad claimed that their water bill went down 1/3 when I left the house. We were a family of four.

So true. My teen DD takes long hot showers. My nieces are the same. Definitely see a drop in h20 bill plus sewage fees by about 1/3 (there’s 3 of us). Food expenditures went down. Teens are in a rapid phase growth so they’re constantly chowing- DH and I eat very simple meals - TJ burritos, salad, smoothies, oatmeal, etc. I realized we eat more panini now and cold cut sandwiches. Save us on gas stove cooking.

Car insurance not much since her going to college 30 minutes away (she’s living in a dorm) didn’t change much. She’s still a dependent on our health insurance (came out better/cheaper than student health.

I think our biggest change will be post college when she finds a professional job and will be on her own.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:To be honest our food budget hasn’t gone down because with a kid here we made an effort to cook meals but with just two of us we’ve made more use of meal deliveries etc.

It’s cheaper for all of us to have a family cell plan so I don’t expect to kick them off that.

Same---my kids can stay on our cell plan forever or at least until they are married. As a single person it would be so much more expensive for them to get their own plan.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My Dad claimed that their water bill went down 1/3 when I left the house. We were a family of four.

So true. My teen DD takes long hot showers. My nieces are the same. Definitely see a drop in h20 bill plus sewage fees by about 1/3 (there’s 3 of us). Food expenditures went down. Teens are in a rapid phase growth so they’re constantly chowing- DH and I eat very simple meals - TJ burritos, salad, smoothies, oatmeal, etc. I realized we eat more panini now and cold cut sandwiches. Save us on gas stove cooking.

Car insurance not much since her going to college 30 minutes away (she’s living in a dorm) didn’t change much. She’s still a dependent on our health insurance (came out better/cheaper than student health.

I think our biggest change will be post college when she finds a professional job and will be on her own.

However, if your kid goes to college more than ~100 miles away and doesn't take a car you can see huge savings. For first DC it was $1800/year. For 2nd it will be $2100 (DC 2 has a 6 year newer car, so that's the price difference). I always say the kids can uber so much while at school and still not spend what it costs for car insurance

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Also interested in this.

We are extremely young parents by DCUM standards and should be empty nesters by 47yo.

Extremely young?

Im not the poster you are rolling your eyes at, but yes, having kids who are fully launched by the time you are 47 is EXTREMELY young. I literally cannot tell if an adult attending a kids event at school is a grandparent or a parent. When you have kids in your early 40s you’re pretty ragged looking by your mid 50s. Like beat down busted looking.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Also interested in this.

We are extremely young parents by DCUM standards and should be empty nesters by 47yo.

Extremely young?

Im not the poster you are rolling your eyes at, but yes, having kids who are fully launched by the time you are 47 is EXTREMELY young. I literally cannot tell if an adult attending a kids event at school is a grandparent or a parent. When you have kids in your early 40s you’re pretty ragged looking by your mid 50s. Like beat down busted looking.

This is so true LOL

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My Dad claimed that their water bill went down 1/3 when I left the house. We were a family of four.

Did you take long showers?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm curious how much your day to day expenses changed after your kids were fully launched. I know the college years are still expensive, but after that?

I'm trying to get a better sense of what my budget might look like in retirement. It feels impossible to disentangle the money I spend on my kids with the money that my husband and I would still spend when they leave.

Did everything go down across the board? Was it actually not a big change at all? Thanks for any insight!

Federal law says you might keep them in the NETFLIX AND CELL PHONE plan till they are married...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our youngest of four is now 31 and married with a kid. So they've been launched for a while. We married young and retired young -- right after the youngest finished college.

Many day to day expenses (food, entertainment, utility bills, etc.) are considerably lower. So is health insurance since we no longer have a family plan. We still have a family plan for the phones but the "kids" all pitch in their share. Cable/internet/streaming services are largely the same, although we do share passwords with kids and they pay for some of these.

There are other expenses that we have incurred on behalf of the kids post-launch that you might not wish to. We've paid for nearly 100 percent of three weddings, helped two of our kids with down payments, and bought a house as an investment property for a third kid to live in. And we just booked a vacation condo for three weeks for close to $20k for the whole family to come and go consistent with their schedules. We only do this stuff because we want to though.

So this will likely be our mind set. Do you find that your costs are now the same as before or higher? I think its no longer on going expenses but larger one time expense.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are paying for a $20k condo and giving them downpayment assistance (or a house!) but asking them to chip in $30/month for cell phones?

NP - there's a difference between helping out with one-time expenses like downpayments, or treating your kids to a vacation (which, really, is in your own self-interest), and footing monthly bills that are just the cost of life.

There’s nothing wrong with giving your kids money but this kind of line drawing is pretty arbitrary.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My Dad claimed that their water bill went down 1/3 when I left the house. We were a family of four.

Did you take long showers?

10 minute, but everyone else did 5 minute showers.

[Anonymous]

Yes, utilities, food and transportation went down but so did medical and, obviously, educational expenses and activities. Glasses, braces, sports teams, etc. - you spend a lot on medical with kids.

My kids were also launched by my late 40s but I’ve kept them on the phone plan. One has my extra vehicle (given during covid) so that vehicle is still on my insurance. And we all share plans - whether that’s Amazon prime or Netflix or Hulu. Everyone pays for one.

I will sometimes help out with something big: medical expense or some unexpected expense, but they are pretty self-sufficient. None is married yet but I will give a chunk towards any wedding. I don’t have deep pockets so it will be a chunk of money for a wedding and they can decide how to spend it - they can contribute on their own and have a big wedding or save it and go to a justice of the peace, I don’t care.

[Anonymous]

I could be wrong, but I expect my expenses to go down a lot once the kids are launched. I now pay tuition, sports lessons, clothes, personal maintenance (their hair and skin), vacations, etc. Around the same time as they are hopefully launched, my mortgage will be paid off too. All these items make up the vast majority of my expenses, and they’ll be eliminated either totally (tuition, sports) or reduced by 1/3 (2 girls taken off the personal maintenance and clothing list). DH doesn’t really spend on personal maintenance or much in clothes so it’s really just me and it’s not that much.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I could be wrong, but I expect my expenses to go down a lot once the kids are launched. I now pay tuition, sports lessons, clothes, personal maintenance (their hair and skin), vacations, etc. Around the same time as they are hopefully launched, my mortgage will be paid off too. All these items make up the vast majority of my expenses, and they’ll be eliminated either totally (tuition, sports) or reduced by 1/3 (2 girls taken off the personal maintenance and clothing list). DH doesn’t really spend on personal maintenance or much in clothes so it’s really just me and it’s not that much.

^^ reduced by 2/3