Taking kids to a wedding where we don’t know anyone

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't go to a destination wedding for a co-worker.

It isn’t a coworker. At least if it was a coworker, I would know the coworker and there would most likely be other coworkers of my husband I know from over the years.

The hotel will cost $1000+ per night for a standard room and we would need 2 rooms since our family can’t fit in a standard room. So this wedding will cost us $10K+ with airfare.

I would rather go on our own family vacation than go to a wedding where we don’t know anyone.

Then why are you asking on DCUM? If you had posted this info in your OP, we'd all have told you not to bother.

Obviously DH really wants to go, either because he really likes the coworker or wants an excuse to go to an expensive resort they normally wouldn’t go.

He is asking her if she wants to go and expects her to say “no you go alone”, so he can blow $2000 for essentially a guys weekend with his work buds.

Crafty. I would see his play by saying he can go, but has to stay at a cheap motel within driving distance (which could be 1-2 hrs away) as long as total cost is less than $1000.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are the kids invited?

Yes, the kids are invited. I don’t know if the kids would have fun at the wedding. I’m not even sure I would even have a good time at the wedding. They are well behaved. We have not been to a wedding for a while. I don’t think I have ever been to a wedding where I don’t know anyone. I won’t know a single person there, not even the groom or bride. I’m leaning towards not going.

Why not just go and use it as an opportunity to make friends, dance, have fun, and get to know your husband's coworkers better? If it's a nighttime reception you can duck out when your kids start getting tired and take them back to the hotel or resort. DH can stay later.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't go at all. Not close friends or family. If it was a local wedding, I'd go but not with covid.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn’t go. $10,000 is a lot of money for your family to travel for a wedding for someone you don’t know. I like weddings and not knowing anyone wouldn’t usually stop me from attending, but that is just ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are the kids invited?

Yes, the kids are invited. I don’t know if the kids would have fun at the wedding. I’m not even sure I would even have a good time at the wedding. They are well behaved. We have not been to a wedding for a while. I don’t think I have ever been to a wedding where I don’t know anyone. I won’t know a single person there, not even the groom or bride. I’m leaning towards not going.

Why not just go and use it as an opportunity to make friends, dance, have fun, and get to know your husband's coworkers better? If it's a nighttime reception you can duck out when your kids start getting tired and take them back to the hotel or resort. DH can stay later.

Did you see the $10,000 plus price tag for the family to attend this fancy destination wedding? That is the key fact here to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Dh is invited to a wedding at a very nice resort. Dh knows the couple through work. I have never met the couple.

Would you attend and take the kids?

If it was local, Dh and I would go but it is a destination wedding. I think of it kind of as a family vacation but I wonder if it is better just to go to a family vacation and not the wedding.

How old are your children,? If the invitation inner envelope does not say "Mr. And Mrs John Jones and family," then children are not in invited. To answer your question, I would not bring children, even if are invited, as you have said that you know no one and your children will know no one and will be bored and drive you and everyone else crazy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are the kids invited?

Yes, the kids are invited. I don’t know if the kids would have fun at the wedding. I’m not even sure I would even have a good time at the wedding. They are well behaved. We have not been to a wedding for a while. I don’t think I have ever been to a wedding where I don’t know anyone. I won’t know a single person there, not even the groom or bride. I’m leaning towards not going.

Why not just go and use it as an opportunity to make friends, dance, have fun, and get to know your husband's coworkers better? If it's a nighttime reception you can duck out when your kids start getting tired and take them back to the hotel or resort. DH can stay later.

Did you see the $10,000 plus price tag for the family to attend this fancy destination wedding? That is the key fact here to me.

I do not see the $10,000 + price tag. Not only would I not take children, I would not attend. This is insane.

[Anonymous]

I'm stuck on a $1000/night hotel room. I'd be embarrassed as a bride/groom even suggesting people spend that. I say this as someone who had a sort-of destination wedding (it was where I was born/raised, which happens to be an overseas tourist destination).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are the kids invited?

Yes, the kids are invited. I don’t know if the kids would have fun at the wedding. I’m not even sure I would even have a good time at the wedding. They are well behaved. We have not been to a wedding for a while. I don’t think I have ever been to a wedding where I don’t know anyone. I won’t know a single person there, not even the groom or bride. I’m leaning towards not going.

Why not just go and use it as an opportunity to make friends, dance, have fun, and get to know your husband's coworkers better? If it's a nighttime reception you can duck out when your kids start getting tired and take them back to the hotel or resort. DH can stay later.

Did you see the $10,000 plus price tag for the family to attend this fancy destination wedding? That is the key fact here to me.

That wouldn't be an issue for us, but if OP can't afford it, then they can't afford it and all the other details are irrelevant.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are the kids invited?

Yes, the kids are invited. I don’t know if the kids would have fun at the wedding. I’m not even sure I would even have a good time at the wedding. They are well behaved. We have not been to a wedding for a while. I don’t think I have ever been to a wedding where I don’t know anyone. I won’t know a single person there, not even the groom or bride. I’m leaning towards not going.

Why not just go and use it as an opportunity to make friends, dance, have fun, and get to know your husband's coworkers better? If it's a nighttime reception you can duck out when your kids start getting tired and take them back to the hotel or resort. DH can stay later.

Did you see the $10,000 plus price tag for the family to attend this fancy destination wedding? That is the key fact here to me.

That wouldn't be an issue for us, but if OP can't afford it, then they can't afford it and all the other details are irrelevant.

Op here. The cost is not the issue. We are used to paying peak prices for travel. This wedding is on a 3 day weekend and I don’t want to waste it on going to a wedding where we don’t know anyone.

I have 2 kids in elementary and one in middle school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't go to a destination wedding for a co-worker.

It isn’t a coworker. At least if it was a coworker, I would know the coworker and there would most likely be other coworkers of my husband I know from over the years.

The hotel will cost $1000+ per night for a standard room and we would need 2 rooms since our family can’t fit in a standard room. So this wedding will cost us $10K+ with airfare.

I would rather go on our own family vacation than go to a wedding where we don’t know anyone.

I can’t believe you’re even considering going.

I don’t want to go. Dh wants to go. He wants me to think of it as a vacation but I would rather go somewhere else alone or with our family friends.

Oh, man, that middle schooler would be miserable. Little kids will dance and run around with other little kids, but a middle schooler would be completely bored at the wedding of a random stranger. I can see the eye-rolls and hear the sighs already.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't go to a destination wedding for a co-worker.

It isn’t a coworker. At least if it was a coworker, I would know the coworker and there would most likely be other coworkers of my husband I know from over the years.

The hotel will cost $1000+ per night for a standard room and we would need 2 rooms since our family can’t fit in a standard room. So this wedding will cost us $10K+ with airfare.

I would rather go on our own family vacation than go to a wedding where we don’t know anyone.

I can’t believe you’re even considering going.

I don’t want to go. Dh wants to go. He wants me to think of it as a vacation but I would rather go somewhere else alone or with our family friends.

I wouldn't want to go. But I also wouldn't want DH to go alone and waste the money and vacation time on a solo trip. So you have to decide either all go or don't. If you are willing to treat as a family vacation, I would go and use the hotel's babysitting/nanny service for the actual event night then do your excursions the rest of the trip

[Anonymous]

I say no. I almost always decline weddings where travel is involved . Save the money for something fun with the family that you will all enjoy.

It is sweet that they invited the kids, though, so I would send a great gift.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't go to a destination wedding for a co-worker.

It isn’t a coworker. At least if it was a coworker, I would know the coworker and there would most likely be other coworkers of my husband I know from over the years.

The hotel will cost $1000+ per night for a standard room and we would need 2 rooms since our family can’t fit in a standard room. So this wedding will cost us $10K+ with airfare.

I would rather go on our own family vacation than go to a wedding where we don’t know anyone.

I can’t believe you’re even considering going.

I don’t want to go. Dh wants to go. He wants me to think of it as a vacation but I would rather go somewhere else alone or with our family friends.

Tell your DH it is kind of rude to accept an invite to celebrate someone's big day when you can't really participate because you will be parenting.

If the kids were in the bridal party or were relatives of the bride & groom, they would add to the event. It is more likely that your attention will pulled and it won't be as fun as it looks.

Send a gift and decline.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm stuck on a $1000/night hotel room. I'd be embarrassed as a bride/groom even suggesting people spend that. I say this as someone who had a sort-of destination wedding (it was where I was born/raised, which happens to be an overseas tourist destination).

For some detonation weddings, the guest's hotel room. & fees are what make the food free at an "all inclusive" resort. While it seems generous, you are kind of hosting yourself.

PASS.