Elderly mom has a creepy new hobby

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Cognitive decline during the aging process means some people get more impulsive and lose their social filter. That's when you see who was harboring uncharitable thoughts all this while and keeping it to themselves!

It's sad when it happens to your own parent, not just because you bear the brunt of it, but also because much cognitive functioning is inherited, so you are more likely to become that way yourself.

I'm watching my father decline right now, and knowing his two parents had dementia, I'm really hoping my genes have reassorted and I won't succomb to dementia in my 70s.
My mother has MS, and it affects her thinking, so all in all, I'm not favored in the genes department!

Can you elaborate on this? I have a sibling with well managed MS who is really negative and suspicious of people, but functions. It's hard to be around her because she complains so much about others and doesn't see her contribution and she goes on the attack easily. I actually was fascinated by Megan Markle's sisters' need to attack in such an immature and nasty way because it reminded me of my sibling. It is isn't even about whether MM is a decent person, but why on earth would you want to be so public with disdain (though I guess in that case part of it was profit). My sibling will also try to publically shame and humiliate people, but on a smaller scale. My point with this is, I always thought it was just personality, but now I wonder if it's how MS impacts the brain. It's hard for me to listen to her because it's such a dark way to see people.

PP you replied to. MS impact neuronal message transmission, and as a result directly impacts muscle response, memory and possibly critical thinking. It does not directly affect personality, but you understand that a person who is less mobile, dependent on others, and always fatigued can easily be depressed. Depression, memory issues and a slight decline in cognitive skills is a recipe for anger and negativity, as I'm sure you'll understand. My mother is not a nasty person, but her illness has made her inconsiderate of my father and myself, since she's used to being waited on (she can't use her hands for any precision task). She has no mental stamina, and she tends to be negative and indulge in schadenfreude. For me it's obvious that chronic illness will make you that way! I'd be pretty pissed off against the world if I had MS!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Lots and lots of people of all ages peep on exes and home values. they just don't talk about it much.

She seems normal and good for her for learning a new hobby.

It's not your problem, just disengage.

My boyfriend and I do this.

[Anonymous]

OP, I thought your mom had taken up taxidermy or something!

[Anonymous]

Lol, everyone DOES this. It’s just that no one admits it. The sharing of the details so unabashedly is what would feel “creepy” to me.

[Anonymous]

I opened this thread expecting to read about her Reborn doll collection or something.
House prices? Court documents?
Check and check.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I thought your mom had taken up taxidermy or something!

OMG! I thought the same thing!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Lots and lots of people of all ages peep on exes and home values. they just don't talk about it much.

She seems normal and good for her for learning a new hobby.

It's not your problem, just disengage.

I am in my 50s and I have definitely checked out LinkedIn pages and realty pages of people I knew back when.

And then I get bored and move on. Sounds like OP’s mom is going deeper than the average person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Redirect them to ancestry.com

+1

[Anonymous]

It’s disturbing to be ghosted. That’s the purpose of ghosting - to deliberately hurt someone. It’s gaslighting 101.

Your mother’s reaction is normal, just not productive. As for looking up home values? Totally normal

[Anonymous]

Anonymous[b wrote:]Lots and lots of people of all ages peep on exes and home values. they just don't talk about it much. [/b]

She seems normal and good for her for learning a new hobby.

It's not your problem, just disengage.

+1

What may be different is that your mom is losing her filter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Cognitive decline during the aging process means some people get more impulsive and lose their social filter. That's when you see who was harboring uncharitable thoughts all this while and keeping it to themselves!

It's sad when it happens to your own parent, not just because you bear the brunt of it, but also because much cognitive functioning is inherited, so you are more likely to become that way yourself.

I'm watching my father decline right now, and knowing his two parents had dementia, I'm really hoping my genes have reassorted and I won't succomb to dementia in my 70s.
My mother has MS, and it affects her thinking, so all in all, I'm not favored in the genes department!

Can you elaborate on this? I have a sibling with well managed MS who is really negative and suspicious of people, but functions. It's hard to be around her because she complains so much about others and doesn't see her contribution and she goes on the attack easily. I actually was fascinated by Megan Markle's sisters' need to attack in such an immature and nasty way because it reminded me of my sibling. It is isn't even about whether MM is a decent person, but why on earth would you want to be so public with disdain (though I guess in that case part of it was profit). My sibling will also try to publically shame and humiliate people, but on a smaller scale. My point with this is, I always thought it was just personality, but now I wonder if it's how MS impacts the brain. It's hard for me to listen to her because it's such a dark way to see people.

PP you replied to. MS impact neuronal message transmission, and as a result directly impacts muscle response, memory and possibly critical thinking. It does not directly affect personality, but you understand that a person who is less mobile, dependent on others, and always fatigued can easily be depressed. Depression, memory issues and a slight decline in cognitive skills is a recipe for anger and negativity, as I'm sure you'll understand. My mother is not a nasty person, but her illness has made her inconsiderate of my father and myself, since she's used to being waited on (she can't use her hands for any precision task). She has no mental stamina, and she tends to be negative and indulge in schadenfreude. For me it's obvious that chronic illness will make you that way! I'd be pretty pissed off against the world if I had MS!

Interesting. In this case sibling is completely mobile and fully employed, but does have fatigue. I do think depression plays in because when medicated the hostile view of the world seems to soften considerably, but person does not stay on atidepressants.

[Anonymous]

Go into her account and block that woman's account so she can't stalk her anymore. Have you tried redirecting her energy/time towards a healthy hobby? She sounds lonely.

[Anonymous]

echo dementia.

My mom has dementia and is convinced that some people whom she had social issues with *decades* ago are trash talking her now, and calling her. She wanted me to call them (I knew them long long ago) and ask why they are trash talking her.

Some of these folks are dead.

[Anonymous]

She likely has a lot more free time on her hands & is experiencing the novelty of all the things she can access online now.

I can totally see why you would be annoyed however.

[Anonymous]

I do this. Im 35.