What were Elizabeth Bennett’s prospects in the real world?

[Anonymous]

Would a love match to a member of the landed gentry really be so far outside the realm of possibility? It was a fantasy but is there anything specific that would make it impossible? Or just a love match to somebody in the church? Or even a trade?

I think that if Elizabeth didn’t find a love match she would have remained single.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Would a love match to a member of the landed gentry really be so far outside the realm of possibility? It was a fantasy but is there anything specific that would make it impossible? Or just a love match to somebody in the church? Or even a trade?

I think that if Elizabeth didn’t find a love match she would have remained single.

It’s possible — that’s what her aunt Gardiner did. (Love match assumed I guess, but the Gardiners seem like a happy couple.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I read somewhere that fathers of that class would work their connections to find spouses for their daughters if there was no one available locally. She might not have had someone nice or even her age, but she'd have a husband of her social class who could provide a place to live. She wouldn't have to work.

Given the dire straits they'd be in once Mr Bennet died, I always thought it was weird he didn't seem to care about them getting married. Mrs Bennet was uncharitably written but she wasn't wrong to worry.

I thought:
Mr Bennett cared.
He saw no point in becoming hysterical about it regularly.
Like my dh calmly putting sunscreen on the kids, getting the job done, while I’m going into another lecture about how important sunscreen is. (I don’t do this, I was just trying to think of an example from life now.)

Except he isn’t putting the sunscreen on. Literally the only time he tries to get any of his daughters married is inviting Mr Collins to stay. It’s like one parent lecturing about the importance of sunscreen while the other reads a book and the two oldest daughters try and get everyone packed to go to the beach. Neither Bennett parent comes off well, honestly.

[Anonymous]

This sounds like some high school kid’s English class assignment that he’s crowdsourcing on DCUM

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I read somewhere that fathers of that class would work their connections to find spouses for their daughters if there was no one available locally. She might not have had someone nice or even her age, but she'd have a husband of her social class who could provide a place to live. She wouldn't have to work.

Given the dire straits they'd be in once Mr Bennet died, I always thought it was weird he didn't seem to care about them getting married. Mrs Bennet was uncharitably written but she wasn't wrong to worry.

I thought:
Mr Bennett cared.
He saw no point in becoming hysterical about it regularly.
Like my dh calmly putting sunscreen on the kids, getting the job done, while I’m going into another lecture about how important sunscreen is. (I don’t do this, I was just trying to think of an example from life now.)

Except he isn’t putting the sunscreen on. Literally the only time he tries to get any of his daughters married is inviting Mr Collins to stay. It’s like one parent lecturing about the importance of sunscreen while the other reads a book and the two oldest daughters try and get everyone packed to go to the beach. Neither Bennett parent comes off well, honestly.

Indeed. Neither parents come off well in the novel. Mr. Bennett is "better" than the wife only superficially. He is lazy and irresolute, and just kind of avoiding all parenting responsibilities for "his quiet" (i.e. sending Lydia to Brighton). We learn all the details towards the end when he discusses all his failings and then gingerly says he will forget about it all soon enough.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This sounds like some high school kid’s English class assignment that he’s crowdsourcing on DCUM

I like it. It's interesting to find out how women really lived.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This sounds like some high school kid’s English class assignment that he’s crowdsourcing on DCUM

Well kudos to OP then, that’s a smart way to get ideas.

[Anonymous]

The book makes it kind of clear that Mr. Bennett spent all his income every year instead of putting any of it away for dowries for his daughters. He was relying on the possibility of having a son, and then just shrugging and giving up when it became clear no son would come.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The book makes it kind of clear that Mr. Bennett spent all his income every year instead of putting any of it away for dowries for his daughters. He was relying on the possibility of having a son, and then just shrugging and giving up when it became clear no son would come.

Yep. Mr. Bennett was a terrible father! Totally checked out of his family, hiding away in his office, doing nothing to ensure their continued well-being after his death in a time when women were completely reliant on the men in their lives to take care of them. I can understand why Mrs. Bennett was in a tizzy all the time with an uncaring partner like that!

[Anonymous]

Yes, I think Mrs. Bennett was right to worry. She and her daughters were very vulnerable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I read somewhere that fathers of that class would work their connections to find spouses for their daughters if there was no one available locally. She might not have had someone nice or even her age, but she'd have a husband of her social class who could provide a place to live. She wouldn't have to work.

Given the dire straits they'd be in once Mr Bennet died, I always thought it was weird he didn't seem to care about them getting married. Mrs Bennet was uncharitably written but she wasn't wrong to worry.

I thought:
Mr Bennett cared.
He saw no point in becoming hysterical about it regularly.
Like my dh calmly putting sunscreen on the kids, getting the job done, while I’m going into another lecture about how important sunscreen is. (I don’t do this, I was just trying to think of an example from life now.)

Except he isn’t putting the sunscreen on. Literally the only time he tries to get any of his daughters married is inviting Mr Collins to stay. It’s like one parent lecturing about the importance of sunscreen while the other reads a book and the two oldest daughters try and get everyone packed to go to the beach. Neither Bennett parent comes off well, honestly.

Indeed. Neither parents come off well in the novel. Mr. Bennett is "better" than the wife only superficially. He is lazy and irresolute, and just kind of avoiding all parenting responsibilities for "his quiet" (i.e. sending Lydia to Brighton). We learn all the details towards the end when he discusses all his failings and then gingerly says he will forget about it all soon enough.

Darcy calls out the father as well as the mother at one point — at least in the latest movie version. Been awhile since I read the.book.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I read somewhere that fathers of that class would work their connections to find spouses for their daughters if there was no one available locally. She might not have had someone nice or even her age, but she'd have a husband of her social class who could provide a place to live. She wouldn't have to work.

Given the dire straits they'd be in once Mr Bennet died, I always thought it was weird he didn't seem to care about them getting married. Mrs Bennet was uncharitably written but she wasn't wrong to worry.

I thought:
Mr Bennett cared.
He saw no point in becoming hysterical about it regularly.
Like my dh calmly putting sunscreen on the kids, getting the job done, while I’m going into another lecture about how important sunscreen is. (I don’t do this, I was just trying to think of an example from life now.)

Except he isn’t putting the sunscreen on. Literally the only time he tries to get any of his daughters married is inviting Mr Collins to stay. It’s like one parent lecturing about the importance of sunscreen while the other reads a book and the two oldest daughters try and get everyone packed to go to the beach. Neither Bennett parent comes off well, honestly.

Doesn't he also pay a call on Mr. Bingley when he first arrives?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Would a love match to a member of the landed gentry really be so far outside the realm of possibility? It was a fantasy but is there anything specific that would make it impossible? Or just a love match to somebody in the church? Or even a trade?

I think that if Elizabeth didn’t find a love match she would have remained single.

One of her problems was her rural isolation and apparently small extended family. I think her best bet would have been meeting a man through the Gardiners, but he would have been a professional man in their circles, not a gentleman. Still could have been a man of sense and education and the son of a gentleman, but someone in line to inherit an estate.

[Anonymous]

Also, this is fun! I just re-read Emma recently. Anyone want to do Emma next?!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Would a love match to a member of the landed gentry really be so far outside the realm of possibility? It was a fantasy but is there anything specific that would make it impossible? Or just a love match to somebody in the church? Or even a trade?

I think that if Elizabeth didn’t find a love match she would have remained single.

One of her problems was her rural isolation and apparently small extended family. I think her best bet would have been meeting a man through the Gardiners, but he would have been a professional man in their circles, not a gentleman. Still could have been a man of sense and education and the son of a gentleman, but someone in line to inherit an estate.

*not someone in line to inherit an estate