Forcing myself to breastfeed out of fear

[Anonymous]

Dear OP, I feel your pain and frustration. Everyone's different, but in my experience, after 3 months, breast is really so so so much easier than formula, having done it both ways. If BFing baby and I needed to run and errand or do an outing, it was so much easier to just grab diaper bag and go and not have to worry about preparing and bringing bottles. If we got delayed somewhere, food was always there. When I got sick, I could still BF in bed (and pass on antibodies) versus having to get up in an exhausted fog and prepare bottles.

It was so hard at first to breastfeed, but ultimately after the first couple months, it was way easier to be a social mobile human being with the baby who could breastfed than the one who couldn't.

Good luck!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It takes a few weeks to wean your supply anyway. I would say each time you feed baby, use a hakaa on the other breast. It should catch 1-3oz per feed and you can freeze that. It really adds up quickly and then you can have that freezer stash as a safety net. You could either dip into it if you run out of formula or do half formula half BM.

I'm sorry

Milk from the Haakaa doesn’t contain any fatty milk. That’s basically just sugar and won’t fill up your baby like a full feed will.

This is absolutely not true per my IBCLC

Agree. And I reported that posted and asked for this dangerously false information to be deleted.

How is it not true? You’re just getting the letdown which is the foremilk.

Right. And a very simple google search would give you numerous reputable sources that tell you that there is little difference in the fat content of foremilk and hindmilk.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. The other issue is he eats more frequently with the breast. He will eat every two hours with breastfeeding but goes 2.5-3 hours when he gets a bottle. One day I had help and pumped most of the day and he was able to go longer between feedings and seemed happier with the bottle.

That’s totally normal, especially with regard to the formula bottle.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Dear OP, I feel your pain and frustration. Everyone's different, but in my experience, after 3 months, breast is really so so so much easier than formula, having done it both ways. If BFing baby and I needed to run and errand or do an outing, it was so much easier to just grab diaper bag and go and not have to worry about preparing and bringing bottles. If we got delayed somewhere, food was always there. When I got sick, I could still BF in bed (and pass on antibodies) versus having to get up in an exhausted fog and prepare bottles.

It was so hard at first to breastfeed, but ultimately after the first couple months, it was way easier to be a social mobile human being with the baby who could breastfed than the one who couldn't.

Good luck!

This is not helpful. OP hates breastfeeding, her baby hates breastfeeding, and it doesn’t always get better. That was your experience, not hers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Dear OP, I feel your pain and frustration. Everyone's different, but in my experience, after 3 months, breast is really so so so much easier than formula, having done it both ways. If BFing baby and I needed to run and errand or do an outing, it was so much easier to just grab diaper bag and go and not have to worry about preparing and bringing bottles. If we got delayed somewhere, food was always there. When I got sick, I could still BF in bed (and pass on antibodies) versus having to get up in an exhausted fog and prepare bottles.

It was so hard at first to breastfeed, but ultimately after the first couple months, it was way easier to be a social mobile human being with the baby who could breastfed than the one who couldn't.

Good luck!

These are good points and probably very true for a situation where baby ultimately does figure out breastfeeding. I do want to add another perspective, though, because I think we sometimes tell moms over and over to keep trying, even when it is to the detriment of their own mental/emotional health. Here, OP has said she hates this and is forcing herself to do it out of fear. This can't be good for OP and, really, a miserable mom is a much bigger concern than formula feeding (which I would argue isn't a concern at all, outside of the potential shortage).

OP, your baby may still figure this out, but if you're at 9 weeks and have had many lactation visits with no real success, your baby also might not figure it out -- and that's okay. (I have a nine month old who never really figured it out, even with months of work with a LC. I still breastfeed some, pump, and, more recently, provide formula. Trying to breastfeed was a source of constant stress for many months (and meant breastfeeding in public was a nightmare)). If breastfeeding isn't working for you, as others have suggested, exclusively pumping is a great option. I've been almost an exclusive pumper at times, and it is a pain and can be hard to find time, but if your baby is otherwise a very slow eater, this might be a great option. Regardless of what you do there, try a different formula that is staying stocked. We're using Enfamil Neuropro and have had no issues finding it locally and online. Do you have limitations on which formulas you can use? If not, I would highly recommend trying a different formula to help your sanity.

[Anonymous]

Huh, I would feel powerful and maternal in this situation, but ok.

[Anonymous]

Which formula? I just looked up my baby's formula on amazon thinking I missed some sort of crisis and I could get it delivered tomorrow...Earth's Best Organic, FWIW.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dear OP, I feel your pain and frustration. Everyone's different, but in my experience, after 3 months, breast is really so so so much easier than formula, having done it both ways. If BFing baby and I needed to run and errand or do an outing, it was so much easier to just grab diaper bag and go and not have to worry about preparing and bringing bottles. If we got delayed somewhere, food was always there. When I got sick, I could still BF in bed (and pass on antibodies) versus having to get up in an exhausted fog and prepare bottles.

It was so hard at first to breastfeed, but ultimately after the first couple months, it was way easier to be a social mobile human being with the baby who could breastfed than the one who couldn't.

Good luck!

These are good points and probably very true for a situation where baby ultimately does figure out breastfeeding. I do want to add another perspective, though, because I think we sometimes tell moms over and over to keep trying, even when it is to the detriment of their own mental/emotional health. Here, OP has said she hates this and is forcing herself to do it out of fear. This can't be good for OP and, really, a miserable mom is a much bigger concern than formula feeding (which I would argue isn't a concern at all, outside of the potential shortage).

OP, your baby may still figure this out, but if you're at 9 weeks and have had many lactation visits with no real success, your baby also might not figure it out -- and that's okay. (I have a nine month old who never really figured it out, even with months of work with a LC. I still breastfeed some, pump, and, more recently, provide formula. Trying to breastfeed was a source of constant stress for many months (and meant breastfeeding in public was a nightmare)). If breastfeeding isn't working for you, as others have suggested, exclusively pumping is a great option. I've been almost an exclusive pumper at times, and it is a pain and can be hard to find time, but if your baby is otherwise a very slow eater, this might be a great option. Regardless of what you do there, try a different formula that is staying stocked. We're using Enfamil Neuropro and have had no issues finding it locally and online. Do you have limitations on which formulas you can use? If not, I would highly recommend trying a different formula to help your sanity.

OP here. Thank you. I don’t think it will get better and I personally don’t want it to. I just don’t like it and I will look into exclusively pumping. Breastfeeding is making me and my baby miserable. He is so much happier with a bottle.

We used Enfamil NeuroPro liquid. We have a case left and can only find certain ones and there is a limit on 4 at stores and 5 on the Enfamil site. I don’t feel comfortable formula feeding exclusively unless I know I won’t run out of formula. I worry I will think it will be fine, let my supply dry up, and then we can’t find any of it. He only will take the liquid. I have tried a couple other brands and he has refused them. I found one formula made in the U.S. but they are no longer flaking new parents because of shortages.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Huh, I would feel powerful and maternal in this situation, but ok.

OP here. Breastfeeding isn’t the only way to feel maternal but way to shame. You may have needed breastfeeding to feel like a mother, but many others don’t.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Which formula? I just looked up my baby's formula on amazon thinking I missed some sort of crisis and I could get it delivered tomorrow...Earth's Best Organic, FWIW.

OP here. He takes Enfamil NeuroPro liquid. They are already limiting how much you can buy and many places are sold out of it. I fear it will only get worse and we won’t have any formula to feed him.

[Anonymous]

Normally, I would just say fed is best and don’t do something you hate but between formula shortages and maybe benefiting from antibodies if your house gets COVID, I’d exclusively pump.

I told myself I only had to make it 6 months with my baby but those are the concerns that have me still nursing all night and pumping all my work day. It sucks but is still temporary and in my control.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Which formula? I just looked up my baby's formula on amazon thinking I missed some sort of crisis and I could get it delivered tomorrow...Earth's Best Organic, FWIW.

I would be cautious buying oral or topical products from Amazon. I’ve received counterfeit items several times even when I thought I was purchasing from the official brand storefront. And apparently this has happened with car seats (https://amp.cnn.com/cnn/2019/12/20/tech/amazon-fake-kids-products/index.html).

[Anonymous]

Are you going back to work? If not, I'd just keep nursing. He will get faster at it and by 6 months you'll also be introducing solid food. The first two months are the hardest and then nursing became ridculously easy for me. I had only planned to do 6 months, but couldn't bear the thought of making and washing bottles and so just kept going. Even easier with child #2 because I knew it was a short term hurdle I had to get through.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are you going back to work? If not, I'd just keep nursing. He will get faster at it and by 6 months you'll also be introducing solid food. The first two months are the hardest and then nursing became ridculously easy for me. I had only planned to do 6 months, but couldn't bear the thought of making and washing bottles and so just kept going. Even easier with child #2 because I knew it was a short term hurdle I had to get through.

Seriously? You wonder why people hate breastfeeding moms. OP said her and her baby are miserable and you keep telling her to push through it because it was easy for you. Newsflash: It doesn’t always get better for everyone. No one cares that it worked for you and you enjoyed it, because this isn’t about you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dear OP, I feel your pain and frustration. Everyone's different, but in my experience, after 3 months, breast is really so so so much easier than formula, having done it both ways. If BFing baby and I needed to run and errand or do an outing, it was so much easier to just grab diaper bag and go and not have to worry about preparing and bringing bottles. If we got delayed somewhere, food was always there. When I got sick, I could still BF in bed (and pass on antibodies) versus having to get up in an exhausted fog and prepare bottles.

It was so hard at first to breastfeed, but ultimately after the first couple months, it was way easier to be a social mobile human being with the baby who could breastfed than the one who couldn't.

Good luck!

This is not helpful. OP hates breastfeeding, her baby hates breastfeeding, and it doesn’t always get better. That was your experience, not hers.

Right, but OP is facing down a nationwide formula shortage which most of us did not need to deal with. I am 100% fed is best, but if there’s no formula, baby won’t be fed.