How to set the right tone as new parents

[Anonymous]

All these are good. Add "Donate generously to the Annual or Financial Aid fund" to the list.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I will never understand why people feel the need to be mean when they could just ignore

It's not "mean" to tell a poster like this that she needs to chill out. It's helpful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s odd that you would actually have to write this out. These are all pretty common sense items, not things one would have to consciously remind themselves about.

You'd be surprised at how many parents (both in public and private) fail at some of these items. Being successful career-wise doesn't always translate elsewhere.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Be less intense. I would steer clear of you if you displayed this type of breakdown in person.

That's cool. I itemized just to keep spouse and I on the same page.

Feel free to stay clear, we don't sound like a great match.

Not setting the right tone here....

[Anonymous]

I think those are all spot on! Most importantly: Enjoy getting to know and being part of your new community!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Be less intense. I would steer clear of you if you displayed this type of breakdown in person.

That's cool. I itemized just to keep spouse and I on the same page.

Feel free to stay clear, we don't sound like a great match.

Spouse and me. Object, not subject. Public school (and middling at that) for me!

[Anonymous]

Play it cool and don’t let anyone know you make lists for this sort of thing.

Honestly, just relax and be yourself. Too many people try too hard and that intensity can create a toxic environment among parents.

[Anonymous]

Don't be a pain in the ass. And don't make waves.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I will never understand why people feel the need to be mean when they could just ignore

I know. 💯 But my guess is they either have too much time on their hands, they like drama and stirring the pot, or they feel pretty crappy about themselves and would rather project that onto others.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Be less intense. I would steer clear of you if you displayed this type of breakdown in person.

That's cool. I itemized just to keep spouse and I on the same page.

Feel free to stay clear, we don't sound like a great match.

I'd add one: don't listen to parents who talk badly about others. There are some mean girls all grown up (physically, that is) around here.

[Anonymous]

Stop trying so hard.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Stop trying so hard.

This!!! 🤦‍♀️ 😳

[Anonymous]

OP, ignore the rudeness -- you'll find plenty of folks who will recognize that you're making an effort, have sufficient common sense to know that it's unlikely you'll be walking around at school events with your list. Even if you initially come across as "trying too hard," I promise there are those of us who will welcome you with kindness, understanding that new situations aren't always easy and you're simply trying to be a good community member. So, in short, "yes" to all the items on your list.

[Anonymous]

I'm sorry but the fourth one is a bit odd. Are you sayin you are not already kind? Displaying kindness in public and modeling kindness behind closed doors sounds rather fake and performative. I would drop this one from your list and just act in a way that feels natural.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm sorry but the fourth one is a bit odd. Are you sayin you are not already kind? Displaying kindness in public and modeling kindness behind closed doors sounds rather fake and performative. I would drop this one from your list and just act in a way that feels natural.

It seems like this is really intended to be a “honey do” list of sorts for her spouse. Very odd.