2e kid in private, help me understand IEP for public

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our education consultants are recommending AAP over switching to another private for our DS. He has ADHD and anxiety - private is extremely focused on his behavior - which includes social difficulties during breaks, lunch, recess. He also has what they feel is negative body language and at times sighs or huffs and puffs.They also feel he can be inflexible at times (he’s still finishing an assignment and needs to move on and doesn’t do so immediately). He has had straight As thru elementary school and does enrichment on the weekends in math where he is several grades ahead (hes finishing fifth and is finishing algebra 1). Ed consultants don’t feel the privates w good experience w adhd will not be academic enough - we got him into aap years ago - and they feel that is where he will do better. Please help me understand the process for public - do we schedule a meeting this spring with new school and ask for an IEP? What goes into an IEP for behavior and social challenges? I’m worried about the bigger class sizes for him - this has been a hard road thru elementary and isn’t really getting any easier.

Have you looked at or spoken to the folks at Commonwealth Academy? My good friend ahs a middle schooler there that is whip smart and they have been able to challenge him - I think he goes to above grade level classes in math and history. They are very happy with it.

No, we looked at McLean and they weren't able to meet the academic levels of my DS. I am not opposed though - will reach out. Thank you! Ed Consultants had dismissed it as not academic enough.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our education consultants are recommending AAP over switching to another private for our DS. He has ADHD and anxiety - private is extremely focused on his behavior - which includes social difficulties during breaks, lunch, recess. He also has what they feel is negative body language and at times sighs or huffs and puffs.They also feel he can be inflexible at times (he’s still finishing an assignment and needs to move on and doesn’t do so immediately). He has had straight As thru elementary school and does enrichment on the weekends in math where he is several grades ahead (hes finishing fifth and is finishing algebra 1). Ed consultants don’t feel the privates w good experience w adhd will not be academic enough - we got him into aap years ago - and they feel that is where he will do better. Please help me understand the process for public - do we schedule a meeting this spring with new school and ask for an IEP? What goes into an IEP for behavior and social challenges? I’m worried about the bigger class sizes for him - this has been a hard road thru elementary and isn’t really getting any easier.

Have you looked at or spoken to the folks at Commonwealth Academy? My good friend ahs a middle schooler there that is whip smart and they have been able to challenge him - I think he goes to above grade level classes in math and history. They are very happy with it.

No, we looked at McLean and they weren't able to meet the academic levels of my DS. I am not opposed though - will reach out. Thank you! Ed Consultants had dismissed it as not academic enough.

Have you confirmed that the public school will be able to accommodate geometry in 6th?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I assume your child is into the AAP program?

If yes, I would enroll and send a letter to the school Principal stating that your child has a ADHD diagnosis and you would like to get a full evaluation to determine if your child's learning difference impacts ability to access the curriculum such that they would qualify for an IEP.

Having this as a written request triggers the process to start. The Principal might refer you to your home school - but it will get the process moving.

While the process is moving, you want to frame out your concerns. How ADHD impacts your child throughout the school day. Familiarize yourself with the language of special education so that you can have meaningful engagement and not feel like you are drinking from a fire hose.

I would also look around and find an advocate who is familiar with your school. I would not start with a lawyer. You mentioned you are working with an educational consultant - I assume this person is more of a specialist in the different schools available that special education advocacy.

Yes, we applied in second for third and then didn't go, so we were admitted to AAP Level IV then. I really appreciate the advice - our education consultant is for main stream privates (and I guess they do special needs too).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our education consultants are recommending AAP over switching to another private for our DS. He has ADHD and anxiety - private is extremely focused on his behavior - which includes social difficulties during breaks, lunch, recess. He also has what they feel is negative body language and at times sighs or huffs and puffs.They also feel he can be inflexible at times (he’s still finishing an assignment and needs to move on and doesn’t do so immediately). He has had straight As thru elementary school and does enrichment on the weekends in math where he is several grades ahead (hes finishing fifth and is finishing algebra 1). Ed consultants don’t feel the privates w good experience w adhd will not be academic enough - we got him into aap years ago - and they feel that is where he will do better. Please help me understand the process for public - do we schedule a meeting this spring with new school and ask for an IEP? What goes into an IEP for behavior and social challenges? I’m worried about the bigger class sizes for him - this has been a hard road thru elementary and isn’t really getting any easier.

Have you looked at or spoken to the folks at Commonwealth Academy? My good friend ahs a middle schooler there that is whip smart and they have been able to challenge him - I think he goes to above grade level classes in math and history. They are very happy with it.

No, we looked at McLean and they weren't able to meet the academic levels of my DS. I am not opposed though - will reach out. Thank you! Ed Consultants had dismissed it as not academic enough.

Have you confirmed that the public school will be able to accommodate geometry in 6th?

They won't - I am just not sure what to do about it. . . I figure TJ Is around the corner and middle school they should be able to advance again. . .in the meantime, I think they'll be repeating math.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My two cents: the school is hyperfocusing on these tiny behavioral moments to make a case to either get you to leave or counsel him out. You smartly took the hint. I have a sneaking suspicion that once he’s in public and the school/teacher are not breathing down his neck getting them to fit into their mold, he will not need too much intervention. Public schools don’t micromanage the kids in the way you describe your son’s school. He’s more likely to get a 504 with accommodations like a flash pass to take a break or see the counselor, extra time to finish, cues/warnings/reminders for transitions, etc. It’s trickier but not impossible to make a case that he can’t access the curriculum and needs an iep when clearly he is achieving academically at a high level without intervention. It sounds like targeted supports and accommodations would set him up for success.

I need to get smart on 504 vs IEP. This has all come crashing down in the last month as the private has ramped up their dissection of his behavior. They are definitely putting the pressure on and I am not sure he can take it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our education consultants are recommending AAP over switching to another private for our DS. He has ADHD and anxiety - private is extremely focused on his behavior - which includes social difficulties during breaks, lunch, recess. He also has what they feel is negative body language and at times sighs or huffs and puffs.They also feel he can be inflexible at times (he’s still finishing an assignment and needs to move on and doesn’t do so immediately). He has had straight As thru elementary school and does enrichment on the weekends in math where he is several grades ahead (hes finishing fifth and is finishing algebra 1). Ed consultants don’t feel the privates w good experience w adhd will not be academic enough - we got him into aap years ago - and they feel that is where he will do better. Please help me understand the process for public - do we schedule a meeting this spring with new school and ask for an IEP? What goes into an IEP for behavior and social challenges? I’m worried about the bigger class sizes for him - this has been a hard road thru elementary and isn’t really getting any easier.

Have you looked at or spoken to the folks at Commonwealth Academy? My good friend ahs a middle schooler there that is whip smart and they have been able to challenge him - I think he goes to above grade level classes in math and history. They are very happy with it.

No, we looked at McLean and they weren't able to meet the academic levels of my DS. I am not opposed though - will reach out. Thank you! Ed Consultants had dismissed it as not academic enough.

Have you confirmed that the public school will be able to accommodate geometry in 6th?

They won't - I am just not sure what to do about it. . . I figure TJ Is around the corner and middle school they should be able to advance again. . .in the meantime, I think they'll be repeating math.

Have you asked? The reason that I asked is some are better than others (and some are more conveniently located close to middle schools). Either way they will either be online or traveling to middle school for math. If they will be online for algebra, that would really concern me, if it was for geometry (that they haven't previously taken), it would be a hard no.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our education consultants are recommending AAP over switching to another private for our DS. He has ADHD and anxiety - private is extremely focused on his behavior - which includes social difficulties during breaks, lunch, recess. He also has what they feel is negative body language and at times sighs or huffs and puffs.They also feel he can be inflexible at times (he’s still finishing an assignment and needs to move on and doesn’t do so immediately). He has had straight As thru elementary school and does enrichment on the weekends in math where he is several grades ahead (hes finishing fifth and is finishing algebra 1). Ed consultants don’t feel the privates w good experience w adhd will not be academic enough - we got him into aap years ago - and they feel that is where he will do better. Please help me understand the process for public - do we schedule a meeting this spring with new school and ask for an IEP? What goes into an IEP for behavior and social challenges? I’m worried about the bigger class sizes for him - this has been a hard road thru elementary and isn’t really getting any easier.

Have you looked at or spoken to the folks at Commonwealth Academy? My good friend ahs a middle schooler there that is whip smart and they have been able to challenge him - I think he goes to above grade level classes in math and history. They are very happy with it.

No, we looked at McLean and they weren't able to meet the academic levels of my DS. I am not opposed though - will reach out. Thank you! Ed Consultants had dismissed it as not academic enough.

Have you confirmed that the public school will be able to accommodate geometry in 6th?

They won't - I am just not sure what to do about it. . . I figure TJ Is around the corner and middle school they should be able to advance again. . .in the meantime, I think they'll be repeating math.

Ah great point - haven't asked - I will - thank you for the suggestion. I figured I would just supplement outside of school.

Have you asked? The reason that I asked is some are better than others (and some are more conveniently located close to middle schools). Either way they will either be online or traveling to middle school for math. If they will be online for algebra, that would really concern me, if it was for geometry (that they haven't previously taken), it would be a hard no.

[Anonymous]

OP here - honestly, I am tearing up - you have all helped me immensely - it is so hard to watch your child struggle with the school. He does have friends, but comes home defeated often as they document every single thing he does wrong. His therapist who has been working with kids in privates for 20 years says that 98% of the stuff documented falls under normal kid behavior. There is a 2% that obviously falls outside that we need to address. Or maybe we need less of the normal kid behavior too - at home he's delightful and he does very well in his sports. I am trying to count the days until summer break.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here - honestly, I am tearing up - you have all helped me immensely - it is so hard to watch your child struggle with the school. He does have friends, but comes home defeated often as they document every single thing he does wrong. His therapist who has been working with kids in privates for 20 years says that 98% of the stuff documented falls under normal kid behavior. There is a 2% that obviously falls outside that we need to address. Or maybe we need less of the normal kid behavior too - at home he's delightful and he does very well in his sports. I am trying to count the days until summer break.

I'm the PP who mentioned Commonwealth, but after reading your last post, I think there's a good chance your kiddo just needs to get out of that school and will be fine elsewhere (with some supports maybe, maybe not, but overall fine).

My DS was at a well-regarded, rigorous private school and they were so worried about him every time we talked with the teachers and the administration. He was able to do the work but they just kept harping on his social challenges (no outbursts, just problems with social cues) or his ADHD symptoms like blurting out answers, etc. After 3 years of this, we moved him and he is doing just fine with minimal support now that the teachers are not expecting him to be - well, a kid that doesn't have ADHD. And we as a family are so much more relaxed because he's not getting constant negative feedback. I hope he does great where ever he ends up, and he's lucky to have a parent like you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here - honestly, I am tearing up - you have all helped me immensely - it is so hard to watch your child struggle with the school. He does have friends, but comes home defeated often as they document every single thing he does wrong. His therapist who has been working with kids in privates for 20 years says that 98% of the stuff documented falls under normal kid behavior. There is a 2% that obviously falls outside that we need to address. Or maybe we need less of the normal kid behavior too - at home he's delightful and he does very well in his sports. I am trying to count the days until summer break.

what would happen if you disenrolled him now? He is so far ahead, it shouldn’t make a difference for grade next year. You could ‘homeschool’ for that time period.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here - honestly, I am tearing up - you have all helped me immensely - it is so hard to watch your child struggle with the school. He does have friends, but comes home defeated often as they document every single thing he does wrong. His therapist who has been working with kids in privates for 20 years says that 98% of the stuff documented falls under normal kid behavior. There is a 2% that obviously falls outside that we need to address. Or maybe we need less of the normal kid behavior too - at home he's delightful and he does very well in his sports. I am trying to count the days until summer break.

I'm the PP who mentioned Commonwealth, but after reading your last post, I think there's a good chance your kiddo just needs to get out of that school and will be fine elsewhere (with some supports maybe, maybe not, but overall fine).

My DS was at a well-regarded, rigorous private school and they were so worried about him every time we talked with the teachers and the administration. He was able to do the work but they just kept harping on his social challenges (no outbursts, just problems with social cues) or his ADHD symptoms like blurting out answers, etc. After 3 years of this, we moved him and he is doing just fine with minimal support now that the teachers are not expecting him to be - well, a kid that doesn't have ADHD. And we as a family are so much more relaxed because he's not getting constant negative feedback. I hope he does great where ever he ends up, and he's lucky to have a parent like you.

+1 You sound like a wonderful mom. He’s lucky he has you looking out for him. It breaks my heart how the school is creating this toxicity toward a child who sounds like he has many gifts and wonderful qualities. I bet they have a long waiting list bc of the pandemic and are trying to weed out any students with SN. The good news is that you probably wouldn’t want to continue to pay for your son to be in a school whose core values exclude a wonderful child like your son.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here - honestly, I am tearing up - you have all helped me immensely - it is so hard to watch your child struggle with the school. He does have friends, but comes home defeated often as they document every single thing he does wrong. His therapist who has been working with kids in privates for 20 years says that 98% of the stuff documented falls under normal kid behavior. There is a 2% that obviously falls outside that we need to address. Or maybe we need less of the normal kid behavior too - at home he's delightful and he does very well in his sports. I am trying to count the days until summer break.

what would happen if you disenrolled him now? He is so far ahead, it shouldn’t make a difference for grade next year. You could ‘homeschool’ for that time period.

If you're going to public and arguing for geometry in 6th, you want that final grade in the books. Even arguing for algebra will be easier if they've done well in a full year of algebra

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our education consultants are recommending AAP over switching to another private for our DS. He has ADHD and anxiety - private is extremely focused on his behavior - which includes social difficulties during breaks, lunch, recess. He also has what they feel is negative body language and at times sighs or huffs and puffs.They also feel he can be inflexible at times (he’s still finishing an assignment and needs to move on and doesn’t do so immediately). He has had straight As thru elementary school and does enrichment on the weekends in math where he is several grades ahead (hes finishing fifth and is finishing algebra 1). Ed consultants don’t feel the privates w good experience w adhd will not be academic enough - we got him into aap years ago - and they feel that is where he will do better. Please help me understand the process for public - do we schedule a meeting this spring with new school and ask for an IEP? What goes into an IEP for behavior and social challenges? I’m worried about the bigger class sizes for him - this has been a hard road thru elementary and isn’t really getting any easier.

Have you looked at or spoken to the folks at Commonwealth Academy? My good friend ahs a middle schooler there that is whip smart and they have been able to challenge him - I think he goes to above grade level classes in math and history. They are very happy with it.

No, we looked at McLean and they weren't able to meet the academic levels of my DS. I am not opposed though - will reach out. Thank you! Ed Consultants had dismissed it as not academic enough.

I wouldn't waste your time. We looked at McLean for a 2e child too and it was not a match due to academics as DC is not behind in any subjects. They are very good at remediation and it's something we are continuing to look at for the future if they fall behind.

[Anonymous]

This happened to my child's friend. Very gifted child and the school was extremely critical about little things to the point where she became depressed about herself. The family was even considering SN schools.

They switched schools the next year and no more issues with teachers. She's still a bit quirky which everyone accepts and some peers and teachers really like. I think you'll have better luck in a larger and more diverse environment OP.

[Anonymous]

In AAP there are a number of kids who do outside enrichment on weekends or after school at Algebra level in late elementary. Your child will fit right in.