Why lie on dating sites about age?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I understand older men doing it. I do not understand why a 39-year-old would put 34–especially if he is looking at mid-40s women. I have seen it so many times.

Insecure and pathological liars. It's all you need to know. Not worth getting involved with.

This. If someone lies about something so trivial as age, what else are they going to be lying about? Not worth it. I'm 45 and don't feel a need to lie. If I were 50 like some other guy said who changed his age so he shows up in filters...I'd still say I'm 50. Why show up in someone's filter who does not want to meet people who are 50. What a waste of time. Talk about setting yourself up for failure, constantly.

[Anonymous]

Tangent:Not on a dating site, but a tv/movie extra app, I wrote my real age vs my babyfaced looks. I have won guess your age at amusement parks 100% of the time. Online, I get accused of using old photos due to my babyface even in this year's fashion and a newspaper in the background. I only got callbacks for older roles and when I showed up in person, I got moved for "too young". In this scenario, I'm thinking I should have used my perceived/acting/visual age in retrospect.

What should I have done, OP?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I understand older men doing it. I do not understand why a 39-year-old would put 34–especially if he is looking at mid-40s women. I have seen it so many times.

Insecure and pathological liars. It's all you need to know. Not worth getting involved with.

This. If someone lies about something so trivial as age, what else are they going to be lying about? Not worth it. I'm 45 and don't feel a need to lie. If I were 50 like some other guy said who changed his age so he shows up in filters...I'd still say I'm 50. Why show up in someone's filter who does not want to meet people who are 50. What a waste of time. Talk about setting yourself up for failure, constantly.

The reason to out-fox the filters is that women will say, "No one older than 45" but they don't really mean it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Tangent:Not on a dating site, but a tv/movie extra app, I wrote my real age vs my babyfaced looks. I have won guess your age at amusement parks 100% of the time. Online, I get accused of using old photos due to my babyface even in this year's fashion and a newspaper in the background. I only got callbacks for older roles and when I showed up in person, I got moved for "too young". In this scenario, I'm thinking I should have used my perceived/acting/visual age in retrospect.

What should I have done, OP?

NP and the answer is always use your real age. If it is truly an insurmountable obstacle that people think your photos are fake/old (I'd be surprised if a statistically significant amount of people said this) but even if so there are easy ways around this. You can offer to skype before meeting and that will give you the added benefit of confirming that your potential date looks as presented as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I understand older men doing it. I do not understand why a 39-year-old would put 34–especially if he is looking at mid-40s women. I have seen it so many times.

Insecure and pathological liars. It's all you need to know. Not worth getting involved with.

This. If someone lies about something so trivial as age, what else are they going to be lying about? Not worth it. I'm 45 and don't feel a need to lie. If I were 50 like some other guy said who changed his age so he shows up in filters...I'd still say I'm 50. Why show up in someone's filter who does not want to meet people who are 50. What a waste of time. Talk about setting yourself up for failure, constantly.

The reason to out-fox the filters is that women will say, "No one older than 45" but they don't really mean it.

WTF?!?!? I bet you also think when a woman says, No. She means yes!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tangent:Not on a dating site, but a tv/movie extra app, I wrote my real age vs my babyfaced looks. I have won guess your age at amusement parks 100% of the time. Online, I get accused of using old photos due to my babyface even in this year's fashion and a newspaper in the background. I only got callbacks for older roles and when I showed up in person, I got moved for "too young". In this scenario, I'm thinking I should have used my perceived/acting/visual age in retrospect.

What should I have done, OP?

NP and the answer is always use your real age. If it is truly an insurmountable obstacle that people think your photos are fake/old (I'd be surprised if a statistically significant amount of people said this) but even if so there are easy ways around this. You can offer to skype before meeting and that will give you the added benefit of confirming that your potential date looks as presented as well.

I agree when dating one can skype, but when getting roles for an extra, one cannot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Because they delude themselves into thinking they’d be attractive to younger women if they met them in person. It’s also a sign that they don’t respect the fact that women are entitled to their own preferences, which is itself a red flag.

Apparently it's a no-no to say that nobody respects the fact that men are entitled to a preference for women who are not fat (and ironically deleting that comment further proved my point).

[Anonymous]

I went out with a guy that did that and it's a huge red flag. Anyone that lies about basic facts should not move past date 1. I don't care the excuse. Frankly these websites should require age verification.

[Anonymous]

I can understand why people do this. An extreme example, but my dad does a lot of online dating, and he found when he turned 75, his results plummeted. It was clear that lots of people just categorically refused to date people over 75 or set their filters to end before 75. And FWIW, he dates very age appropriately (I think his range is set to like 60-79 or something). So, he changed his age to 73 to get back in the game. My take was - I think that's fine as long as you're honest quickly - say something in chats or on the first date, just casually.

So, I think I'd be okay with that. I had a bit of a "blocker" in my head when I was dating about increasing my range to include 40 year olds (I'm a woman, this was in my early 30s). So I think at like 31 when I met my husband, my range was at like 25-39. If I went on a first date with a guy who's profile said 38 but on our first date was like "actually, I'm 40, but that made it impossible to get through people's filters!" I'd be cool with that. Feels more like lying to a machine than lying to me.

If I found out 6 months later, that'd be an immediately dealbreaker.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I understand older men doing it. I do not understand why a 39-year-old would put 34–especially if he is looking at mid-40s women. I have seen it so many times.

Insecure and pathological liars. It's all you need to know. Not worth getting involved with.

This. If someone lies about something so trivial as age, what else are they going to be lying about? Not worth it. I'm 45 and don't feel a need to lie. If I were 50 like some other guy said who changed his age so he shows up in filters...I'd still say I'm 50. Why show up in someone's filter who does not want to meet people who are 50. What a waste of time. Talk about setting yourself up for failure, constantly.

The reason to out-fox the filters is that women will say, "No one older than 45" but they don't really mean it.

Right, women rarely mean what they say, the silly little featherheads.

Also, there’s no hyphen in “outfox”, stupid.

Why not target people who actually want you? Why are you so focused on tricking people who don’t want you into meeting you under false pretences?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because they delude themselves into thinking they’d be attractive to younger women if they met them in person. It’s also a sign that they don’t respect the fact that women are entitled to their own preferences, which is itself a red flag.

Apparently it's a no-no to say that nobody respects the fact that men are entitled to a preference for women who are not fat (and ironically deleting that comment further proved my point).

I agree not fat is a more valid preference than many other things, especially if you eat normal or enjoy active pursuits or like non-plus size fashion. You should have seen the thread a while back where a man called a woman "hot but crazy" just for eating right. He was right that she was the wrong fit for him, but when he called her "crazy" I lost all sympathy for him. This forum is far better than the local DC subreddit, where thin women, pretty women, kind women calling others beautiful get bullied out. I've seen a little of it on the Beauty DCUM where women get strong disparaging and labeling of "feminist" for postings that other's DDs are beautiful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most women over 50 lie about their age on OLD apps.

Most baffling is when in the text of the profile they reveal "oh yeah I'm really 61 even though the profile says 54" like that's supposed to make it better.

I would not mind that as much. They are being honest and upfront but they don't want to get eliminated by the filter.

It has been years for me--married 15 years--but when I was doing OLD, I really made an effort to find pictures that really looked like me. I was very photogenic when I was younger so I had tons of pictures that made me look way prettier than I am. I did not use those pictures. I didn't want a guy's first thought when he met me to be, "Oh she is not as pretty as she looked in pictures."

[Anonymous]

If you are 48, you will not show up on if someone has set their filter at 45. So, you lie and say 45 or 44. Then you hope they will forget what you said your age was, or you will wow them and they won't care.

[Anonymous]

It’s pretty common for the liars to look fine for their actual age but like sh$t for the age they are claiming, so the lie only makes tings worse.