This is the OP. Same here, more or less. 6-8+ hours would be typical. People would think I was crazy or rude if I told them I'd come back or to pick up kids in 2 hours. Sounds like norms here are such that they would think I was crazy if I suggested all day! I was surprised when we first started living abroad but now feel it's completely normal. |
What school? Maybe we should look into it! |
2 hours.
When we have pushed it to 2.5, we regret it. |
Very impressive, really, but I'm confused about what your school has to do with the question. |
NP. 6-8 hours is like a best friend playdate. Where the relationship is like, I can bring your kids on errands, maybe they’ll stay for dinner or an impromptu sleepover. 8 hours with a random school friend sounds horrible. |
Start with 1.5-2hrs |
We have two kids under 10 and usually start in the 1-2 hour range to see how it goes. First playdate is usually more heavily supervised/monitored. If the kids seem to really get along and aren't destructive or bickering, we are comfortable upping the duration to 3-4 hours, but it also depends on the other family's appetite for it and if the kid has a laundry list of dietary restrictions, etc. We usually alternate sites (our house/their house), so they have to be mutually willing to host for longer periods of time. I'd be fine going beyond 4 hours with a family we knew/trusted if they were up for it, but haven't encountered that yet.
And the ideal is finding a family where both our kids can go playdate simultaneously and give us a full rather than partial break! |
Agree. At least an hour and a half at a park. Just don't be that parent who invites for a park playdate and then leaves in an hour, more so if the park is not nearby. |
I also think a lot of us with pre-K/early elementary kids are somewhat rusty with play dates due to COVID. My 7 year old still hasn’t seen to inside of many of her friends’ homes (we’ve tended to do a lot of park meetups and organized outdoor sports the past couple of years). We are now open to resuming indoor play dates, but have only found 1 friend who is also ok with that. It makes me a bit sad because at her age, there was definitely a crew of us hanging out from sun up to sun down on the weekends plus having sleepovers. I hope to get to that point, but it feels like we’re now delayed and haven’t had much experience with drop off stuff since she was in K when this all started. |
We are immigrants and our kid's best friends are immigrants (from a completely different culture). Play dates start mid-afternoon, last 2-3 hours and then we all have food (usually parents come to pick up). So I'd say total 4 hours. But this is where the parents actually like each other and want to spend some time hanging out.
I don't really know how to navigate the anglo play date politics, so I just ask (if it's a drop off date): what time should we pick up Larlo? If they say something ambiguous, I say we'll be back in 1.5 hours, and then I prepare my kid that when i show up, it's time to go without whining. So far that's been fine but we haven't really deepened any friendships that way. |
Immigrant PP (I just posted without seeing this). The international nature of the school has everything to do with this question! Our kids is at a public school but with many international families. |
OP here- it 100% is why I ask the question, because my kids also attend an international school (overseas in our case) and I am aware that although I am from the US I have zero idea of what cultural norms are there. Case in point: a 2 hour playdate would be seriously weird and probably even rude where I am. All day is WAY more of the norm.v SOunds like that isn' the case there. |
^ OP again - it sounds like you all are structuring playdates for kids 6-10? Is this really expected? I like just letting the kids play and don't find they typically need entertainment or guidance from me to do so although maybe COVID has changed that |
I usually do 1.5-2 hours if it’s at someone’s house. If we are meeting up at a park with my friends, we stay until the kids get grumpy (probably like 3 hours). |
2 hours |