Being cut out of a will…

[Anonymous]

One other thing - If aunt is left high and dry, we would take her in. I already offered to have her come live with me and so did mom - but she doesn’t want to leave our home state and I don’t work remotely. (I checked - I can’t take FMLA for aunt and mom babysits my brother’s kids while he works.) But the most likely scenario is aunt stays in a nursing home for a longish time which could exhaust her savings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t think your concern should be your mothers inheritance. My concern would be, can you trust these people with your aunts assets during her lifetime? What if they take all the money and then she’s left with nothing?

THIS. It’s alarming that this person will not be responsible for your aunt, but will control the purse strings. I would be worried about your aunt being left high and dry.

I know. The thing is my aunt is going into a nursing home - right now, Medicare will pay for it but then it will be long term care and she has no long-term health insurance. My understanding is the nursing home would bill until that money runs out and then it becomes Medicaid. So if they try to take money out, wouldn’t the government come after them? Aunt asked me to fly in from the west coast where I now live to check out the places - but since she goes in as Medicare, the places haven’t handed me any paperwork.

I don't like the sound of this at all. I know someone--and frankly was shocked when I found out what she did--she was from a huge family (12 kids originally, the person I know is probably early 60s now). We had lost touch and then I saw a newspaper article about her being charged with some kind of elder abuse and there was her in a mug shot. Her mom had moved in with her, her mom's $400,000 in bank accounts from selling the family farm ended up as joint accounts, later there was a falling out, the mom moved across the state to another child's home, they tried to set her up in assisted living and there was only $12,000 left. She'd blown through the money trying to keep her own business afloat. The other thing is, if someone takes an elderly person's assets, that person can be ineligible for medicaid (medicare coverage is temporary post-hospitalization) which can lead to frightful scenarios since nursing homes don't want to eat that cost. Best to prevent that situation from happening, which joint assets can easily result in.

She was convicted but managed to reverse on appeal because of ambiguity in the law, but they went after her later on a different charge which stuck. No jail time (suspended) other than time served, but probation for several years and restitution in exchange for guilty plea.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My mother’s sister is in the hospital and will be going into a nursing home. She lost all her immediate family (husband and one child) to covid. My mom and her sister have always been very close, and my mom has helped her financially throughout the years: most of the furniture in their house was given to them by my mom, and my mom even took in my (now dead) cousin for over a year while my aunt was undergoing cancer treatment and in rehab. (This was a long time ago - my aunt recovered, my cousin went back home, grew up and years later, died of covid.) They don’t live close to us but we have been traveling back and forth and in daily contact with the medical team. My aunt just told me that just before I got to the hospital, a niece from her husband’s side brought a notary public and two witnesses (friends of their family) to the hospital to add her to all the bank accounts and the house title.

I do not know if my aunt will have any money left if and when she passes but I know my mom will be hurt, not because of the money but because, as the next of kin, she is deliberately being written out. It sounds like my aunt wants me to make sure my mom knows. I’ve got to say I don’t fully understand the reasoning: the family involved is very nice but they don’t need the money and they are not helping out my aunt at all (not financially and not logistically). All of the logistics - finding a facility, home health aide, etc - is falling on us.

How would you tell your mom or would you just let her find out eventually? I don’t appreciate being put in this position.

A notary can't just add someone to the bank accounts or house. Sounds like she has power of attorney. Better talk to the aunt and figure out what she wants to do with her estate. Does she have a will?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My mother’s sister is in the hospital and will be going into a nursing home. She lost all her immediate family (husband and one child) to covid. My mom and her sister have always been very close, and my mom has helped her financially throughout the years: most of the furniture in their house was given to them by my mom, and my mom even took in my (now dead) cousin for over a year while my aunt was undergoing cancer treatment and in rehab. (This was a long time ago - my aunt recovered, my cousin went back home, grew up and years later, died of covid.) They don’t live close to us but we have been traveling back and forth and in daily contact with the medical team. My aunt just told me that just before I got to the hospital, a niece from her husband’s side brought a notary public and two witnesses (friends of their family) to the hospital to add her to all the bank accounts and the house title.

I do not know if my aunt will have any money left if and when she passes but I know my mom will be hurt, not because of the money but because, as the next of kin, she is deliberately being written out. It sounds like my aunt wants me to make sure my mom knows. I’ve got to say I don’t fully understand the reasoning: the family involved is very nice but they don’t need the money and they are not helping out my aunt at all (not financially and not logistically). All of the logistics - finding a facility, home health aide, etc - is falling on us.

How would you tell your mom or would you just let her find out eventually? I don’t appreciate being put in this position.

A notary can't just add someone to the bank accounts or house. Sounds like she has power of attorney. Better talk to the aunt and figure out what she wants to do with her estate. Does she have a will?

The notary simply witnessed the documents the niece brought with her that she would have gotten from the bank -- those documents are what put the niece's name on the deed and bank accounts. I know because I just did the same thing with my mother's bank accounts.

[Anonymous]

This sounds super weird. Is this the poster who's always putting forth made-up scenarios?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Someone needs to set your aunt straight about money. She cannot turn money over to others. If she runs out of money she won’t be able to get care because of the MA five year look back period. Get a social worker involved.

Did your aunt agree to this or was she bullied into it? It sounds like she was bullied into it and I'd get an attorney and reverse it for her. Or, go for guardianship if she's not competent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My mother’s sister is in the hospital and will be going into a nursing home. She lost all her immediate family (husband and one child) to covid. My mom and her sister have always been very close, and my mom has helped her financially throughout the years: most of the furniture in their house was given to them by my mom, and my mom even took in my (now dead) cousin for over a year while my aunt was undergoing cancer treatment and in rehab. (This was a long time ago - my aunt recovered, my cousin went back home, grew up and years later, died of covid.) They don’t live close to us but we have been traveling back and forth and in daily contact with the medical team. My aunt just told me that just before I got to the hospital, a niece from her husband’s side brought a notary public and two witnesses (friends of their family) to the hospital to add her to all the bank accounts and the house title.

I do not know if my aunt will have any money left if and when she passes but I know my mom will be hurt, not because of the money but because, as the next of kin, she is deliberately being written out. It sounds like my aunt wants me to make sure my mom knows. I’ve got to say I don’t fully understand the reasoning: the family involved is very nice but they don’t need the money and they are not helping out my aunt at all (not financially and not logistically). All of the logistics - finding a facility, home health aide, etc - is falling on us.

How would you tell your mom or would you just let her find out eventually? I don’t appreciate being put in this position.

A notary can't just add someone to the bank accounts or house. Sounds like she has power of attorney. Better talk to the aunt and figure out what she wants to do with her estate. Does she have a will?

It sounds like the other relatives got POA and are using the POA to get on the bank accounts and take all the money. Aunt may not have agreed to this. I would talk to the aunt/family and discuss it with them. This is a clear money grab.

If the aunt isn't agreeing to it, personally I'd open the aunt up another bank account, transfer the money and hide it from them.

[Anonymous]

Just do the same thing the niece did. Get the aunt to give your mom POA and have the niece's name taken off the bank accounts and house deed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This sounds super weird. Is this the poster who's always putting forth made-up scenarios?

This is not a made up scenario and I don’t usually post on the relationship part. I just thought maybe others had gone through something like this ans had some advice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just do the same thing the niece did. Get the aunt to give your mom POA and have the niece's name taken off the bank accounts and house deed.

+1.

I'm not sure what's really going on here. Maybe your aunt didn't really understand what she was doing, but I think you and your mom need to tell her that if she wants the two of you in charge then she's going to have to reverse what she has already done and give your mother or you POA.

Agree on getting a social worker and possibly an attorney involved and lock this down. Maybe a social worker can mediate a family meeting. Because leaving you and your mom to do all the legwork without you knowing that banks accounts could be wiped out and the house sold out from under you is a pretty big deal.

[Anonymous]

OP, if you're for real, it sounds like this niece is taking advantage to profit from your aunt. She's been waiting in the wings, like a vulture to swoop in and make a grab for the assets.

Does this niece have an ongoing relationship with your aunt?

Getting added to the bank accounts is the oldest trick in the books. This niece will proceed to drain out the accounts either before or after your aunt's demise. She will be doing this legally, since she is on the accounts.

I suggest you try to protect your aunt from this vulture by talking to your county senior protective services and to a lawyer. Your aunt is free to leave her estate to whomever she pleases, but scamming seniors can be as easy as taking candy from a baby

[Anonymous]

OP, echoing everyone else that this is not about breaking the news to your mom that she’s not going to inherit. This is about you locking down a money grab and a financial disaster down fast. There is one and only one reason they have done what they’ve done, to drain out the accounts and get the house. Do NOT give them the benefit of the doubt, particularly since they have been completely clear that they will provide no help whatsoever.

Immediately, IMMEDIATELY let your mom know what’s going on and work together to get this reversed. Get an attorney involved for advice on how to move fast. And as said above, it’s time to get upfront with your aunt that if she wants your help, you or your mom need POA. Meanwhile open another account and convince your aunt to transfer the money over to one she’s only on. See what you can do with the bank to prevent loans being taken out on the house’s equity…they may have already started trying to drain money out from the house that way. The lawyer should have advice on that and how to get them off the title.

But again most of all, move FAST. They will be too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This sounds super weird. Is this the poster who's always putting forth made-up scenarios?

This is not a made up scenario and I don’t usually post on the relationship part. I just thought maybe others had gone through something like this ans had some advice.

OP, if this is real, you need to talk to an attorney if she isn't consenting to this. My MIL had all her money stolen from a "friend" and while its as obvious there was nothing anyone could do - we went to social services, the police, and more. Eventually, I opened a bank account and then transferred her social security check into it to stop the woman from stealing it and we flew out and got her. But, by then everything was gone, even her clothing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just do the same thing the niece did. Get the aunt to give your mom POA and have the niece's name taken off the bank accounts and house deed.

+1.

I'm not sure what's really going on here. Maybe your aunt didn't really understand what she was doing, but I think you and your mom need to tell her that if she wants the two of you in charge then she's going to have to reverse what she has already done and give your mother or you POA.

Agree on getting a social worker and possibly an attorney involved and lock this down. Maybe a social worker can mediate a family meeting. Because leaving you and your mom to do all the legwork without you knowing that banks accounts could be wiped out and the house sold out from under you is a pretty big deal.

You cannot have the nieces name taken off the account but you can take all the money out of the account and transfer it into another one.