do you sign up for conferences if kid is doing well?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes. Firstly, I love hearing that other people can see how awesome my kid is, just like I do. Secondly, it's important for teachers to know parents care about their kids by showing up. It's once or twice a year - not a big time commitment.

We don’t think I that. Although I would love to have the time to sit and chat with all of the parents, we teach over 130 students each. Even if half want conferences you can imagine how much time this takes. I’m a math teacher and parents often want to see me or ask simple questions that could be answered in email. Most often, they want to be assured that their 14 yo will be in the most advanced math class senior year. I can’t answer that.

Teachers often talk about how we don’t understand why so many parents with kids with As feel the need to schedule these. Usually well over half want to see the math teachers at my high SES school.

I grew up in NY where my hs teachers had 130 students and managed to do parent teacher conferences with all parents that want them. I raised a daughter in San Francisco public schools where her hs teachers also had at least 130 students and managed to do parent teacher conferences with all parents that wanted them. I met with every single teacher every single year. Regardless of whether or not she had A's. I asked who she sat next to, who she talked with most, if she was a leader or follower, etc. I learned all kinds of interesting things from these conferences - that she'd become friends with her English teacher to the point they were exchanging books and her friend group invited him to lunch sometimes, that she slept through one class consistently only to wake 5 minutes before the bell, that she was flirting with a boy one teacher didn't think was a good kid, etc.

[Anonymous]

Former teacher here and also a parent. I completely hear the teacher who says that she has 130 kids and it is difficult to meet with the kids' parents who don't need help. I hear that and it is really a sad reality, and if I'm wearing my teacher hat, I totally get it. Wearing a parent hat, I'm still going to ask for the conference. It is not my problem to solve that there is not enough time for conferences. My kid is enrolled in the school, I'm equally deserving of the teacher's time, and just because he doesn't have easily identifiable issues at school doesn't mean I don't need to talk with the teacher.

[Anonymous]

No. If questions or concerns, maybe, but email the teacher first. The entitlement is awful on this thread, 'we deserve the teachers time' Please. Why not just be respectful of people's time instead of demanding to hear is how amazing Larla is? Guess what, teachers know you want to hear that, and then lie to just end the conference. You're way more transparent and predictable than you think.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes. Firstly, I love hearing that other people can see how awesome my kid is, just like I do. Secondly, it's important for teachers to know parents care about their kids by showing up. It's once or twice a year - not a big time commitment.

So you're taking away time from a parent whose kid has actual issues so the teacher can blow sunshine up your ass on how perfect your child is and what a great job you've done? Godspeed to the teachers dealing with you each year.

Showing up for a conference past elementary school with no issues doesn't make you more of a concerned parent. It makes you a helicopter parent. I'm guessing you'll be calling college professors when they get to college too.

[Anonymous]

A kid with issues isn’t going to be well served by a 5 minute PTC. Leave those quick visits for the rest of us and schedule a separate meeting for kids that need more time / attention.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes. Firstly, I love hearing that other people can see how awesome my kid is, just like I do. Secondly, it's important for teachers to know parents care about their kids by showing up. It's once or twice a year - not a big time commitment.

We don’t think I that. Although I would love to have the time to sit and chat with all of the parents, we teach over 130 students each. Even if half want conferences you can imagine how much time this takes. I’m a math teacher and parents often want to see me or ask simple questions that could be answered in email. Most often, they want to be assured that their 14 yo will be in the most advanced math class senior year. I can’t answer that.

Teachers often talk about how we don’t understand why so many parents with kids with As feel the need to schedule these. Usually well over half want to see the math teachers at my high SES school.

I grew up in NY where my hs teachers had 130 students and managed to do parent teacher conferences with all parents that want them. I raised a daughter in San Francisco public schools where her hs teachers also had at least 130 students and managed to do parent teacher conferences with all parents that wanted them. I met with every single teacher every single year. Regardless of whether or not she had A's. I asked who she sat next to, who she talked with most, if she was a leader or follower, etc. I learned all kinds of interesting things from these conferences - that she'd become friends with her English teacher to the point they were exchanging books and her friend group invited him to lunch sometimes, that she slept through one class consistently only to wake 5 minutes before the bell, that she was flirting with a boy one teacher didn't think was a good kid, etc.

Where was this? I also grew up in NY and there were not any parent conferences once you got past elementary school. I thought only this area had them for older students to satisfy the high maintenance parents. I can’t imagine booking a parent conference for my middle or high school kid to talk about it their progress without them. Are all of you bringing your kids to these? They need to take some responsibility by that age and be a participant.

And yes. I have one with an IEP. We started requesting that he be present at his annual meetings in 5th grade. The staff was surprised but agreed. That’s old enough to have input and be involved.

[Anonymous]

I never do. I figure I can give the teachers a break from a full day of conferences.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes. Firstly, I love hearing that other people can see how awesome my kid is, just like I do. Secondly, it's important for teachers to know parents care about their kids by showing up. It's once or twice a year - not a big time commitment.

We don’t think I that. Although I would love to have the time to sit and chat with all of the parents, we teach over 130 students each. Even if half want conferences you can imagine how much time this takes. I’m a math teacher and parents often want to see me or ask simple questions that could be answered in email. Most often, they want to be assured that their 14 yo will be in the most advanced math class senior year. I can’t answer that.

Teachers often talk about how we don’t understand why so many parents with kids with As feel the need to schedule these. Usually well over half want to see the math teachers at my high SES school.

I grew up in NY where my hs teachers had 130 students and managed to do parent teacher conferences with all parents that want them. I raised a daughter in San Francisco public schools where her hs teachers also had at least 130 students and managed to do parent teacher conferences with all parents that wanted them. I met with every single teacher every single year. Regardless of whether or not she had A's. I asked who she sat next to, who she talked with most, if she was a leader or follower, etc. I learned all kinds of interesting things from these conferences - that she'd become friends with her English teacher to the point they were exchanging books and her friend group invited him to lunch sometimes, that she slept through one class consistently only to wake 5 minutes before the bell, that she was flirting with a boy one teacher didn't think was a good kid, etc.

Where was this? I also grew up in NY and there were not any parent conferences once you got past elementary school. I thought only this area had them for older students to satisfy the high maintenance parents. I can’t imagine booking a parent conference for my middle or high school kid to talk about it their progress without them. Are all of you bringing your kids to these? They need to take some responsibility by that age and be a participant.

And yes. I have one with an IEP. We started requesting that he be present at his annual meetings in 5th grade. The staff was surprised but agreed. That’s old enough to have input and be involved.

I grew up in a middle class town in the Midwest. We had PT conferences in middle school and high school. They were held in the gym for three hours. Each teacher had a table and parents would line up at the teachers they wanted to talk to. After five minutes a bell would ring and then you moved onto the next teacher.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No. If questions or concerns, maybe, but email the teacher first. The entitlement is awful on this thread, 'we deserve the teachers time' Please. Why not just be respectful of people's time instead of demanding to hear is how amazing Larla is? Guess what, teachers know you want to hear that, and then lie to just end the conference. You're way more transparent and predictable than you think.

Our kid gets all As, excels in orchestra, and seems fine. Every parent teacher conference is how she is a delight; and I hate that. I know that no kid is perfect, I know that my DD can be bad at empathy or be to sensitive about work critique. But I want to know how she is functioning in the class, if she adjusting to developing social situations (puberty!), and how her work could be better.

Instead we get these student led conferences where my DD looks dumb founded by such an open ended task.

[Anonymous]

Yes, I did for my MS kid, though it was pre Covid so we went n person to the gym and waited in line to talk with a teacher. Based on the other parents I saw and what I know of their kids, I wasn’t the only parent with a kid doing well to show up. And more than one teacher would lament that it was the parents who didn’t come that s/he really needed to talk with.
I found it helpful to meet the teacher and get a sense of them to help my child navigate the year. Also, I really did go in looking for any feedback on how my kid could improve himself in some way. Often I asked about his socialization. Teachers see a lot more of our kids than just the answers they give n a worksheet. They can be really helpful in spotting things about their development well beyond what a report card reflects.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes. Firstly, I love hearing that other people can see how awesome my kid is, just like I do. Secondly, it's important for teachers to know parents care about their kids by showing up. It's once or twice a year - not a big time commitment.

We don’t think I that. Although I would love to have the time to sit and chat with all of the parents, we teach over 130 students each. Even if half want conferences you can imagine how much time this takes. I’m a math teacher and parents often want to see me or ask simple questions that could be answered in email. Most often, they want to be assured that their 14 yo will be in the most advanced math class senior year. I can’t answer that.

Teachers often talk about how we don’t understand why so many parents with kids with As feel the need to schedule these. Usually well over half want to see the math teachers at my high SES school.

I grew up in NY where my hs teachers had 130 students and managed to do parent teacher conferences with all parents that want them. I raised a daughter in San Francisco public schools where her hs teachers also had at least 130 students and managed to do parent teacher conferences with all parents that wanted them. I met with every single teacher every single year. Regardless of whether or not she had A's. I asked who she sat next to, who she talked with most, if she was a leader or follower, etc. I learned all kinds of interesting things from these conferences - that she'd become friends with her English teacher to the point they were exchanging books and her friend group invited him to lunch sometimes, that she slept through one class consistently only to wake 5 minutes before the bell, that she was flirting with a boy one teacher didn't think was a good kid, etc.

Where was this? I also grew up in NY and there were not any parent conferences once you got past elementary school. I thought only this area had them for older students to satisfy the high maintenance parents. I can’t imagine booking a parent conference for my middle or high school kid to talk about it their progress without them. Are all of you bringing your kids to these? They need to take some responsibility by that age and be a participant.

And yes. I have one with an IEP. We started requesting that he be present at his annual meetings in 5th grade. The staff was surprised but agreed. That’s old enough to have input and be involved.

I grew up in a middle class town in the Midwest. We had PT conferences in middle school and high school. They were held in the gym for three hours. Each teacher had a table and parents would line up at the teachers they wanted to talk to. After five minutes a bell would ring and then you moved onto the next teacher.

That sounds ideal. Anyone could still could meet with the teacher and the teachers were given a three hour window of time to hold the conferences.

[Anonymous]

2 kids no longer in MS, but I always went to the speed-dating like parent teacher conferences. #1 - I want to meet/see the teachers spending so much time with my child. It also helps me to understand why my child is so miserable in a particular class (when a teacher is awful, like 7th grade science), and when a teacher is amazing (8th grade history).

I always found them useful/helpful, and could give my children some suggestions/feedback based on those meetings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No. If questions or concerns, maybe, but email the teacher first. The entitlement is awful on this thread, 'we deserve the teachers time' Please. Why not just be respectful of people's time instead of demanding to hear is how amazing Larla is? Guess what, teachers know you want to hear that, and then lie to just end the conference. You're way more transparent and predictable than you think.

Our kid gets all As, excels in orchestra, and seems fine. Every parent teacher conference is how she is a delight; and I hate that. I know that no kid is perfect, I know that my DD can be bad at empathy or be to sensitive about work critique. But I want to know how she is functioning in the class, if she adjusting to developing social situations (puberty!), and how her work could be better.

Instead we get these student led conferences where my DD looks dumb founded by such an open ended task.

Agree—just once I would like a teacher to say something other than ‘delightful’, ‘wonderful’, ‘doing great’.

[Anonymous]

No. I sent an email checking in with the teachers, but honestly they already reached out a few weeks ago by phone to tell me how great DC was doing. If DC was struggling or barely getting by, Yes, I would schedule it.

[Anonymous]

Yes, but she went to a private school where conferences are baked into the culture of the school. Conferences were where we discussed placements for the coming year, improvements needed, what level of effort the teacher was seeing, etc.