Big merit at safety vs full pay at reach

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I let my kid decide. We were choosing between a nearly full pay at a top 10 dream school and a full ride (Stamps scholarship) at top 50 school. Before he applied, I was mentally prepared to go the expensive route and have been tightening the belt for years. If he chose the free ride, I would give the money to him for grad school or downpayment.

He chose the expensive school. It was his dream, he worked hard to get in and never asked for anything. He very much enjoyed his 3.5 years (covid was a bummer, but at least we saved like $20K on not living on campus) and is graduating soon. He is planning to go into a field that is impossible to break into without a degree from a top school (I don't have connections) and does not require a professional graduate degree, and most of his offers include a possibility of paying for MBA down the road. He is getting great offers, and if he is smart with his money (and I am sure he is), he'll get that downpayment saved in a few years, so no loss there.

My kid chose the full pay too. She knows ramifications for the family. I have some guilt for my other child who chose the merit aid school...though I think that was the right choice for him finances aside. I know I would have chosen the cheaper school. DH is convniced the top school will offer doors. Who knows!?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If your kid had to decide between a great financial package at a safety school vs full pay at a reach school, how did you handle it? We can afford full pay but just barely. Anticipating that it will be hard to convince D.C. that a big name is not worth double the cost.

In my opinion:

- Decide what money you can afford to spend. Make that amount school-neutral.

- Point out that a school that provides more aid probably like the student more.

- Let your kid figure out how to come up with the cash for the more expensive school, if that’s the choice.

- If you haven’t been open about limitations in the past, that’s a shame. But maybe you can blame COVID-related uncertainty for being more careful about money than you would have been in the past.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I let my kid decide. We were choosing between a nearly full pay at a top 10 dream school and a full ride (Stamps scholarship) at top 50 school. Before he applied, I was mentally prepared to go the expensive route and have been tightening the belt for years. If he chose the free ride, I would give the money to him for grad school or downpayment.

He chose the expensive school. It was his dream, he worked hard to get in and never asked for anything. He very much enjoyed his 3.5 years (covid was a bummer, but at least we saved like $20K on not living on campus) and is graduating soon. He is planning to go into a field that is impossible to break into without a degree from a top school (I don't have connections) and does not require a professional graduate degree, and most of his offers include a possibility of paying for MBA down the road. He is getting great offers, and if he is smart with his money (and I am sure he is), he'll get that downpayment saved in a few years, so no loss there.

My kid chose the full pay too. She knows ramifications for the family. I have some guilt for my other child who chose the merit aid school...though I think that was the right choice for him finances aside. I know I would have chosen the cheaper school. DH is convniced the top school will offer doors. Who knows!?

PP. I also have another kid in college who chose to go instate; I will be paying for Masters degree or them. I think this was the right choice given the direction they want to take career wise and their lifestyle preferences. Bottom line, there is no single "right" choice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

She will need much more motivation to succeed in a demanding school than a safety where she is one of the most well qualified students.

That's not necessarily true. There are kids--I had one--who tend to work as hard as the other people around them. If most people on campus spend minimal time studying they don't study either. If most people take academics seriously, they will too. Peer group is very important to some kids and that can still be true the first year or two of college.

+1 that's what I meant by safety won't work for DD, she is capable, she can do very well with peer pressure, she won't be be ready for grad school if she goes to a safety with others not doing much.

[Anonymous]

Depends on how much your DC loves the reach school. Ours received merit at a bunch of schools that were targets, safeties. But DC really really wanted the reach school, was convinced it was a place for them. When the acceptance came in, it was all joy and confetti and all other options were dropped like yesterday’s newspaper. If you have the money for the reach school, why would you try to convince them otherwise? It’s not like a 25-40k discount makes that much of a difference if you already have the $$. I bet you could pay for grad school with cash flow if needed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

She will need much more motivation to succeed in a demanding school than a safety where she is one of the most well qualified students.

That's not necessarily true. There are kids--I had one--who tend to work as hard as the other people around them. If most people on campus spend minimal time studying they don't study either. If most people take academics seriously, they will too. Peer group is very important to some kids and that can still be true the first year or two of college.

It's not just that. I graduated from college as a salutatorian, and I did not work to the max of my abilities. I mean, how would I know where the max is if I am already a huge fish in the pond I am.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don’t have your kid apply to a school you’re not willing to pay for. Then let them decide where to go. It’s that simple.

I get this but sometimes you don’t know the cost of the school until you apply because of merit aid. Even some « safety » schools have a high sticker price.

[Anonymous]

We don’t have acceptances yet, but are already prepping DC for this conversation. If he gets in everywhere, there will be a wide range of costs, including guaranteed free tuition at the state flagship. We have the $$ set aside, but even then, we’re talking about having money left for graduate school or even a down payment on a house, should grad school end up costing less. We’re going to have a serious conversation about whether the expensive private is really worth it and then let him decide.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We don’t have acceptances yet, but are already prepping DC for this conversation. If he gets in everywhere, there will be a wide range of costs, including guaranteed free tuition at the state flagship. We have the $$ set aside, but even then, we’re talking about having money left for graduate school or even a down payment on a house, should grad school end up costing less. We’re going to have a serious conversation about whether the expensive private is really worth it and then let him decide.

+1

[Anonymous]

My kid chose the full ride over the full-pay reaches (got into both Stanford and Berkeley). No regrets - he loved his college years, worked hard, had tons of research and internship opportunities, made great connections, and has a high-paying job several years out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kid chose the full ride over the full-pay reaches (got into both Stanford and Berkeley). No regrets - he loved his college years, worked hard, had tons of research and internship opportunities, made great connections, and has a high-paying job several years out.

Several years out of college and you still post here? Why?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

She will need much more motivation to succeed in a demanding school than a safety where she is one of the most well qualified students.

That's not necessarily true. There are kids--I had one--who tend to work as hard as the other people around them. If most people on campus spend minimal time studying they don't study either. If most people take academics seriously, they will too. Peer group is very important to some kids and that can still be true the first year or two of college.

+1 that's what I meant by safety won't work for DD, she is capable, she can do very well with peer pressure, she won't be be ready for grad school if she goes to a safety with others not doing much.

I think it’s a little obnoxious to assume that everyone at a safety “doesn’t do much.” My dd is at a school that is considered a safety for many on this board. The class of 2025 is one of its biggest in years and one of its strongest - primarily bc the students were shut out of their match and reach schools and ended up at their safety. My dd (who is not in the class of 2025) works hard but also leaves time to socialize and do activities. Her roommate, otoh, takes an extremely rigorous course load and is often up half the night studying. I think the perception of people not caring about academics at safeties is antiquated and that smart and motivated kids will find a peer group pretty much everywhere.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

She will need much more motivation to succeed in a demanding school than a safety where she is one of the most well qualified students.

That's not necessarily true. There are kids--I had one--who tend to work as hard as the other people around them. If most people on campus spend minimal time studying they don't study either. If most people take academics seriously, they will too. Peer group is very important to some kids and that can still be true the first year or two of college.

+1 that's what I meant by safety won't work for DD, she is capable, she can do very well with peer pressure, she won't be be ready for grad school if she goes to a safety with others not doing much.

Smart kids will always hang out with the smart kids. This is absurd. If she cannot handle college, she shouldn't go. Simple.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid chose the full ride over the full-pay reaches (got into both Stanford and Berkeley). No regrets - he loved his college years, worked hard, had tons of research and internship opportunities, made great connections, and has a high-paying job several years out.

Several years out of college and you still post here? Why?

Um, what? A question was asked what sort of decision might be best, and I related my son’s experience from a few years ago. Was there an age or experience limit I missed? I saw the topic come up in Recent Topics and thought I’d weigh in. No need to be rude.

[Anonymous]

We let DS pick. Choices were $26K merit at two lesser known slacs, full freight at "better" schools and in-state at UVA. He ultimately picked UVA (big sigh of relief here), which was less than even the slacs offering $26K in merit. For him, it was the right call. We didn't receive merit from anywhere other than the lesser known slacs. We were 100% EFC from FAFSA, so zero financial aid