Are best friends family to you?

[Anonymous]

I'm not particularly close to my siblings so I would never categorize things that way. To me, my close family is my husband and my kids. And no, best friends are not on that level, though I don't think of it like a hierarchy. It's more that the expectations are totally different with friends. I don't ask them for as much, and they don't ask me for as much. That's great. It's so good to have people in your life who don't rely on you to the degree to which your immediate family does.

You need different kinds of relationships in your life. It's healthy and does not mean that friends are disposable or interchangeable. The opposite. People play different roles and it's very wonderful to find people who will fill those rolls in your life. I feel very lucky to have my friends.

[Anonymous]

I am best friends with my sisters.

I actually have very close friends that are like sisters to me. So I would call them family too. I'd like to drop one of them(her DH is such an ass that I think I would be happier not dealing with him at all), but my bond with her is so strong(we were friends before we got married). She is practically blood at this point. I sometimes wish I love her a little less so I never have to be polite to her husband again. lol

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes. Way better than my sibling. My kids call my best friend “aunt”. My sibling doesn’t even see us on holidays or know my kids names.

This. My kids thought that my best friend was their real aunt until quite recently.

[Anonymous]

Yes, absolutely and for going on fifty years! My siblings are fine but live far away and don’t share my interests. My best friends have been there for every step of my life including cancer treatment. I’m 66 and my best friends are more than family.

That “not blood” nonsense is total crap.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why all these hierarchy and ranking and priority postings lately? I'm closer to friends than some family members, but still see family as family and friends as friends. That's not to say I wouldn't move heaven and Earth to help a friend in need, but if you're blood that's just a thing that a friend isn't.

But shouldn't it be based on closeness and not blood?

A friend falls out and moves away, you can never see or hear of them again. You see family at least at weddings, funerals, holidays, reunions, and hear about them from other family.

That doesn't make you close to them though. Again look around on DCUM at how many people have had to cut off blood relatives out of their life because of toxicity. Not all friends fall out either and the great thing about technology now a days is that even if someone moves away it's much easier to keep in touch with them via zoom or FaceTime or other methods.

It's just false that being blood related guarantees that you will be closer to someone than a friend.

[Anonymous]

Yes my friends are closer than my family. Some of my closest friendships have been going on close to 30 years now.

My sibling hasn't spoken to me in 20 years so doesn't even know me. My siblings kids don't even know I exist, so no sometimes family is not family.

[Anonymous]

No. I’m an only child and a best friend Is someone I’ve been close with since middle school. But she’s a best friend, not a family member.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why all these hierarchy and ranking and priority postings lately? I'm closer to friends than some family members, but still see family as family and friends as friends. That's not to say I wouldn't move heaven and Earth to help a friend in need, but if you're blood that's just a thing that a friend isn't.

But shouldn't it be based on closeness and not blood?

“Shouldn’t it”? As if there’s a right answer? As if it isn’t different for every person? By what unit measure are you measuring this “should”?!

The question no DCUM poster can seem to answer.

[Anonymous]

No

[Anonymous]

I am 52, female and have a friend I've known since we were both 7 yrs old. I consider her family, above and beyond some actual family members.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No. I’m an only child and a best friend Is someone I’ve been close with since middle school. But she’s a best friend, not a family member. [/quote

Some of you are so literal a best friend can be as close as family. You can make your own family. So you say you don't consider your best friend family so what does that mean when it comes down to it? Meaning how would you treat your best friend differently than a family member? If she needed you for something would you say nope sorry you're not family to me?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why all these hierarchy and ranking and priority postings lately? I'm closer to friends than some family members, but still see family as family and friends as friends. That's not to say I wouldn't move heaven and Earth to help a friend in need, but if you're blood that's just a thing that a friend isn't.

But shouldn't it be based on closeness and not blood?

A friend falls out and moves away, you can never see or hear of them again. You see family at least at weddings, funerals, holidays, reunions, and hear about them from other family.

That doesn't make you close to them though. Again look around on DCUM at how many people have had to cut off blood relatives out of their life because of toxicity. Not all friends fall out either and the great thing about technology now a days is that even if someone moves away it's much easier to keep in touch with them via zoom or FaceTime or other methods.

It's just false that being blood related guarantees that you will be closer to someone than a friend.

I….never said that makes them close. That wasn’t the OP’s question. The question is: are best friends family to you? And **my answer, to me, in my view and experience and in my opinion** is that there’s a level of connection even when there is a falling out with family that you don’t see with friendship. My aunt is estranged from my uncle, but they still see each other and can chat cordially for family events. Whereas my aunt also had a grew-up-with/were-college-roommates-and-roomates-as-young-professionals friend that—after a horrible falling out—they have never spoken since, not even when their respective sets of parents died.

You don’t need to argue with me about my view and my opinion. I stated my opinion, and I didn’t try to argue anyone else out of theirs. Why is it so hard for some of you that people see the world differently than you do?

[Anonymous]

Yes

[Anonymous]

Yes and no. I prefer them to family. But I also know they may not be there for me if something changes in their lives and that their own families will always come first.

[Anonymous]

I used to think yes until my best friend of 40
years ghosted me.