Kid that refuse to eat

[Anonymous]

OH MY you need Kids Eat in Color. (https://kidseatincolor.com/)

What I like about Jennifer Anderson's approach is that whatever you offer, it has to be in unlimited quantities unless its something like a cookie (then you can offer a small portion with the meal and say that's all there is available today). So if you offer blueberries, and your kid wants to eat 2 cups of blueberries, you allow it. If you offer bread, she can fill up on bread. YOU choose what's on the table and when; she chooses from that offering if and how much to eat.

You're going wrong with this feeding apples or whatever after the meal has gone sideways. Your kid knows to hold out for the second offering. So, always include one thing your kid will eat for each meal (like the apples--just serve them with the meal!). Then just serve the meal and STOP talking about what she eats. Say "we aren't eating again until morning." Let it be.

[Anonymous]

Put the bread (with butter if possible) on her plate. Also slice the apple and put on her plate. Then add some tiny pieces of meat and veg. And thats it. Then don't talk about food at dinner. Let her eat or not eat. I do this and sometimes the kid will only eat the safe foods but more often than not they eat that and then try whatever else is there and sometimes ask for more broccoli or whatever. Key is NOT to talk about it, convince, cajole. You put food there and they eat it. If i know kid wont like the main/meat she gets a cheesestick or a meatball (we always have some homemade in freezer)

[Anonymous]

No idea if this will work for you, but sometimes if my kid decides she doesn’t like what’s on her plate she’ll try it if I offer her some of what’s on my plate (exactly the same food!) that she’s already seen me eat and enjoy. Doesn’t always work though — I also have a meat hater so I try to make sure I’m offering other forms of protein regularly so she actually gets something filling before bed. For us, peanut butter (especially on apple slices!) is a big hit; cheese and avocado are usually acceptable; eggs, beans, lentils, and tofu are hit or miss.

Good luck! I hope you guys are able to find something that works for you soon.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is OP. Please instruct me how to do the portion. At every dinner, I have 50% for carb (she normally will eat 30-50% of that, but sometimes none), 25% veggie (does not touch that), 25% meat (not eating it these days). There is always a glass of milk that she never touches and I drink at the end of mealtime. I can add a small apple that slices up, and I think she can eats 5-6 pieces of it. It is still not enough food that she still goes hungry. Should I add additional different carb (like bread rolls, muffin) on the side that I know she will eat? But those are breakfast food, so she will eat same breakfast food & dinner food? Isn't it unhealthy if I increase her carb intake like this at mealtime on top of her poor diet?

I know what she wants to eat, we have cheese pizza every friday (she will eat) but I cannot feed her cheese pizza every night. She also likes cupcake, muffin, cookie, crackers, icecream and juice. I am happy to give her that as rewards for eating some dinner, but not to feed her up with these junk food.

She does not let me to take away her food tray or take her down from booster seat, but she keeps telling me that she wants "snacks" and "juice". Sure, I can let her sitting by me to keep me company to eat, and so I should stay calm and not offering any more food before her bedtime? She did that a few times drinking a full bottle of water because she was hungry, and she wets the bed (diaper too full) and crying/waking up in the middle of night. Of course, I can put a protective cover over bedsheet if that helps.

OP she's 2. There is no "let". You are the parent!

I really think you would benefit from reading a couple parenting books to help with this age.

I highly recommend Janet Lansbury "No Bad Kids" and also Ellyn Satter Child of Mine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is OP. Please instruct me how to do the portion. At every dinner, I have 50% for carb (she normally will eat 30-50% of that, but sometimes none), 25% veggie (does not touch that), 25% meat (not eating it these days). There is always a glass of milk that she never touches and I drink at the end of mealtime. I can add a small apple that slices up, and I think she can eats 5-6 pieces of it. It is still not enough food that she still goes hungry. Should I add additional different carb (like bread rolls, muffin) on the side that I know she will eat? But those are breakfast food, so she will eat same breakfast food & dinner food? Isn't it unhealthy if I increase her carb intake like this at mealtime on top of her poor diet?

I know what she wants to eat, we have cheese pizza every friday (she will eat) but I cannot feed her cheese pizza every night. She also likes cupcake, muffin, cookie, crackers, icecream and juice. I am happy to give her that as rewards for eating some dinner, but not to feed her up with these junk food.

She does not let me to take away her food tray or take her down from booster seat, but she keeps telling me that she wants "snacks" and "juice". Sure, I can let her sitting by me to keep me company to eat, and so I should stay calm and not offering any more food before her bedtime? She did that a few times drinking a full bottle of water because she was hungry, and she wets the bed (diaper too full) and crying/waking up in the middle of night. Of course, I can put a protective cover over bedsheet if that helps.

You put serving dishes on the table, and she takes the portions she likes. If she doesn't want the vegetables she doesn't take any. Her portion is zero. If she's too little to get it herself she points and you put as many spoons as she tells you.

You don't add anything in response to whining, or as a reward for eating. Either apples are there from the beginning, or they aren't there at all. Right now you're teaching her that she whines and then the menu changes. Also, there is always something she regularly eats, in unlimited quantities.

Satter suggests a boring bedtime snack. Something you know she'll often eat, like bread and a cup of milk, but the same every night, and not her favorite so she's not holding out for it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know the DCUM crowd swears by Ellen Slate but I do not think it work for all kids. I would add things she will definitely eat to dinner..like always have some apples and bread. Try to expand..like dip and apple or honey or pb? Melt some cheese on the bread? even a different color apple is an expansion.

I am so confused. OP describes everything Ellyn Satter says not to do. You say "Ellyn Satter doesn't work do this instead" and then suggest what Ellyn Satter would suggest.

Have you read Ellyn Satter?

[Anonymous]

Echo others. Serve a meal with a carb, a protein, a veggie, and a fruit. Make sure at least two of the items are things she will like. You don’t have to be so rigid at this age because she is still learning to expand her palate. And every dinner does not have to include a brand new food she’s never had before. You can do something like offering two new foods per week and see how that goes.

If she doesn’t want milk, add a tablespoon of ovaltine or strawberry syrup to it, or blend it into a smoothie with fruits and veggies. Have her help add ingredients (I have found my toddler is much more apt to eat something if she has played a role in making it). If she’s getting enough calcium from other sources, don’t push her to drink the milk. She can have water if she’s thirsty.

If she doesn’t want broccoli or green beans or whatever veggie you are serving, offer a dip (hummus, ranch, even ketchup) or add melted cheese. And if she’s hesitant about a new fruit, offer a dip (peanut butter, yogurt). If she’s not crazy about the meat on her plate give her a protein alternative (hard boiled egg, black beans).

A trick we use with a new food is having our child smell the food, then lick the food, then give it a tiny bite. A decent amount of time she realizes she does want to try a bigger bite and does so. It still gets kids used to having different foods on their plate and touching and thinking about eating them, even if they aren’t actually consuming at the first, second, or 10th time.

If she truly won’t eat anything on her plate, you can make a rule about alternatives. The one in our house is that she has to try a little of what is being served and if she still doesn’t care for it, she can choose to eat a banana, and orange, or a small bowl of Cheerios. Only one of those options.

Lastly, as adults we often presume that toddlers need much much more food than they really do. My pediatrician says if she is eating two out of three meals well, that’s considered a win. Unless your child is losing weight or is underweight, I would not be too concerned. By dinner time, most kids are tired and cranky and become more argumentative. My daughter is 3 1/2 and dinner is still the meal she eats the least amount of.

[Anonymous]

Are you on Instagram OP? If so find Kids Eat in Color (here's her website: https://kidseatincolor.com/ ) - I'm not affiliated but her resources are exactly what I needed when my son was her age. She's a little like Ellen Satter, and I think better because she's non-judgmental and has great content.

[Anonymous]

Also OP, what time are you eating dinner?

What is your general meal schedule during the day?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is OP. Please instruct me how to do the portion. At every dinner, I have 50% for carb (she normally will eat 30-50% of that, but sometimes none), 25% veggie (does not touch that), 25% meat (not eating it these days). There is always a glass of milk that she never touches and I drink at the end of mealtime. I can add a small apple that slices up, and I think she can eats 5-6 pieces of it. It is still not enough food that she still goes hungry. Should I add additional different carb (like bread rolls, muffin) on the side that I know she will eat? But those are breakfast food, so she will eat same breakfast food & dinner food? Isn't it unhealthy if I increase her carb intake like this at mealtime on top of her poor diet?

I know what she wants to eat, we have cheese pizza every friday (she will eat) but I cannot feed her cheese pizza every night. She also likes cupcake, muffin, cookie, crackers, icecream and juice. I am happy to give her that as rewards for eating some dinner, but not to feed her up with these junk food.

She does not let me to take away her food tray or take her down from booster seat, but she keeps telling me that she wants "snacks" and "juice". Sure, I can let her sitting by me to keep me company to eat, and so I should stay calm and not offering any more food before her bedtime? She did that a few times drinking a full bottle of water because she was hungry, and she wets the bed (diaper too full) and crying/waking up in the middle of night. Of course, I can put a protective cover over bedsheet if that helps.

You put serving dishes on the table, and she takes the portions she likes. If she doesn't want the vegetables she doesn't take any. Her portion is zero. If she's too little to get it herself she points and you put as many spoons as she tells you.

You don't add anything in response to whining, or as a reward for eating. Either apples are there from the beginning, or they aren't there at all. Right now you're teaching her that she whines and then the menu changes. Also, there is always something she regularly eats, in unlimited quantities.

Satter suggests a boring bedtime snack. Something you know she'll often eat, like bread and a cup of milk, but the same every night, and not her favorite so she's not holding out for it.

Picky kids will hold out for junk, even past several meals. If you have an extremely picky kid seriously consider dejunking everything, at least for a time.