Feeling kinda bummed about Thanksgiving, ideas to make it better?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You've got some great suggestions, OP. I would also add that these days most grocery stores offer the ability to pre order all kinds of dishes. If you need to meet certain preferences / dietary restrictions, order those, and then you can save your cooking energy for unusual/unique dishes you want to include.

Also, maybe add a fun activity. NPR Story Corps has something called "The Great Listen" which is a way to encourage people to tell stories. Or get a fun game, or a movie that will appeal to the group.

Clearly, your Thanksgiving guests don't include a bunch of football crazed fans who eat dinner on their laps rather than miss a single play.

[Anonymous]

We’ve had a few years that we skipped traditional Thanksgiving foods entirely and just went to an international restaurant. Those were the best food memories. We had South Indian, Senegalese, and Thai. No turkey, green beans, or mashed potatoes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why are you catering to them? You host, you let them know what you are making, and you let them know they are welcome to bring whatever they like.

My mom tried for years to please everyone, including my picky dad. Finally she said, screw it: here’s the menu, bring what you want. She no longer made mac and cheese because one of her nephews likes it—he actually learned, as a teenager, how to make it and bring it. It became his special thing. Other people brought pies, because my mom was like, I’m making pumpkin. End of list.

+1
You make what you want to make. Tell everyone what you are making. And let them know to FYI you on anything else they plan to bring. You are nuts to cater to food preferences when you are the one hosting everyone

I agree. UNLESS it is a true and bad dietary restriction (celiac, food allergies). I frankly would also make sure there is plenty to choose from that does not have a meat component if there is a vegetarian coming (i.e., no chicken stock in things). That's not that hard. And you don't need to make a special dish, imo.

I personally find the dinner the least enjoyable part of Thanksgiving. Basically slop on a plate. But I'm in the minority. I pick a bit at the food and wait for dessert.

[Anonymous]

I think if it’s taking you 20 hours you are being an overachiever. Pick one or two things you really like—for me it is cranberry sauce with cardormon and orange and the desserts. The sauce takes 2 minutes so NbD and I spend the time on the desserts. If they don’t like them, I will eat them all over the next week.
Turkey is boring but at least it’s easy. Get a prebrined, throw some stuff in the cavity and put it in the oven. Send people home with leftovers and drop a Tupperware with leftovers in one of dc’s many open air homeless shelters (ie parks).
Pick one of either mashed potato or stuffing, whichever you prefer, or just pick that up from Harris teeter and don’t tell anyone you did. (But Neither really takes more than 20 min. ) Pick one vegetable or do a salad. (A nice thanksgiving salad is spinach, craisins, cheddar or blue cheese, chopped apple or pear, maple-mustard dressing). If people insist on sweet potatoes, that’s like a 10 minute project. Make a kid mash them (and if kid is over 5, they can also mostly peel them). (Again, this is one you can pick up from the store if it will make you happier not to cook them.)
Then absolutely make your husband clean up, unless he does half of the above. Get some nice sparkling cider and wine and use your nice plates. Then put your nice plates in the dishwasher even if your MiL says “you put those in the dishwasher????” Just say “yes, I do!”
Don’t aim to be the a+ student here—I feel like the extra effort in making fancy thanksgiving meals does not result in equivalent improvements in the meal so I just go traditional but minimalist.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think if it’s taking you 20 hours you are being an overachiever. Pick one or two things you really like—for me it is cranberry sauce with cardormon and orange and the desserts. The sauce takes 2 minutes so NbD and I spend the time on the desserts. If they don’t like them, I will eat them all over the next week.
Turkey is boring but at least it’s easy. Get a prebrined, throw some stuff in the cavity and put it in the oven. Send people home with leftovers and drop a Tupperware with leftovers in one of dc’s many open air homeless shelters (ie parks).
Pick one of either mashed potato or stuffing, whichever you prefer, or just pick that up from Harris teeter and don’t tell anyone you did. (But Neither really takes more than 20 min. ) Pick one vegetable or do a salad. (A nice thanksgiving salad is spinach, craisins, cheddar or blue cheese, chopped apple or pear, maple-mustard dressing). If people insist on sweet potatoes, that’s like a 10 minute project. Make a kid mash them (and if kid is over 5, they can also mostly peel them). (Again, this is one you can pick up from the store if it will make you happier not to cook them.)
Then absolutely make your husband clean up, unless he does half of the above. Get some nice sparkling cider and wine and use your nice plates. Then put your nice plates in the dishwasher even if your MiL says “you put those in the dishwasher????” Just say “yes, I do!”
Don’t aim to be the a+ student here—I feel like the extra effort in making fancy thanksgiving meals does not result in equivalent improvements in the meal so I just go traditional but minimalist.

Either overachieving or totally exaggerating. So much can be made ahead, too! Cranberry sauce, day before. Pies, day before. Vegetable prep, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why are you catering to them? You host, you let them know what you are making, and you let them know they are welcome to bring whatever they like.

My mom tried for years to please everyone, including my picky dad. Finally she said, screw it: here’s the menu, bring what you want. She no longer made mac and cheese because one of her nephews likes it—he actually learned, as a teenager, how to make it and bring it. It became his special thing. Other people brought pies, because my mom was like, I’m making pumpkin. End of list.

+1
You make what you want to make. Tell everyone what you are making. And let them know to FYI you on anything else they plan to bring. You are nuts to cater to food preferences when you are the one hosting everyone

I agree. UNLESS it is a true and bad dietary restriction (celiac, food allergies). I frankly would also make sure there is plenty to choose from that does not have a meat component if there is a vegetarian coming (i.e., no chicken stock in things). That's not that hard. And you don't need to make a special dish, imo.

I personally find the dinner the least enjoyable part of Thanksgiving. Basically slop on a plate. But I'm in the minority. I pick a bit at the food and wait for dessert.

PP here. Yes, of course. I obviously respect allergies and restrictions. But preferences and whims? Bring your own marshmallow-topped monstrosity; I will none.

[Anonymous]

I disagree about offering "creative" things like pulled turkey tacos if you're the host. You're inviting people to a Thanksgiving dinner, and that means a standard set of foods. You can add those odd dishes as extras, but you'll disappoint people if they think they're coming for Thanksgiving dinner and there's no turkey and mashed potatoes. You're just setting yourself up for failure with that approach. I suppose you could make it very clear to people in advance that you want to do something off the wall like that, and they can choose to go elsewhere. But that wouldn't work for family that is expected to attend regardless of the oddball menu.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I disagree about offering "creative" things like pulled turkey tacos if you're the host. You're inviting people to a Thanksgiving dinner, and that means a standard set of foods. You can add those odd dishes as extras, but you'll disappoint people if they think they're coming for Thanksgiving dinner and there's no turkey and mashed potatoes. You're just setting yourself up for failure with that approach. I suppose you could make it very clear to people in advance that you want to do something off the wall like that, and they can choose to go elsewhere. But that wouldn't work for family that is expected to attend regardless of the oddball menu.

I'd be beyond thrilled if I showed up and there were pulled turkey tacos. I'm with OP, but I don't have any great suggestions if she, like me, is the only person who doesn't like the traditional food. She can tweak what she can and make fewer dishes.

[Anonymous]

How old is your child? Have Grandma and DC make the meal

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I disagree about offering "creative" things like pulled turkey tacos if you're the host. You're inviting people to a Thanksgiving dinner, and that means a standard set of foods. You can add those odd dishes as extras, but you'll disappoint people if they think they're coming for Thanksgiving dinner and there's no turkey and mashed potatoes. You're just setting yourself up for failure with that approach. I suppose you could make it very clear to people in advance that you want to do something off the wall like that, and they can choose to go elsewhere. But that wouldn't work for family that is expected to attend regardless of the oddball menu.

I agree that you should make it clear in advance when you extend a Thanksgiving invitation that you’re going to do a non-traditional menu. But then by all means do what you want. There’s no reason not to celebrate with whatever sounds good to you, as long as everyone knows what they’re in for. I would also make it very clear that anyone who wanted to bring any dish they wanted should feel welcome to do so—especially stuffing or whatever.