Manipulative parent

[Anonymous]

I can't figure out if you are not cut out to be a soccer parent or parent in general.

I am thinking it may be the latter.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like FCV 2008 and 2007 girls team

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Anyone have experience with another parent exaggerating or outright lying to get the team to go in the direction they desire?
Just discovered some of us (clueless) where included in said parent's complaints as agreeing with/backing them up towards issues only they have!! I had caught them fudging something between parents (claiming other families were doing specific training they were not) but now discover it gets worse towards the coach. I would think this is very eccentric but now wonder if other teams have had this too.

Yes darling.

[Anonymous]

Having had kids go through this process and me spending too much time worrying about it, I can tell you to just stop wasting mental energy on this. I know it seems so important now, but fast forward 10 years and you'll be kicking yourself that you spent time even thinking about soccer politics.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Anyone have experience with another parent exaggerating or outright lying to get the team to go in the direction they desire?
Just discovered some of us (clueless) where included in said parent's complaints as agreeing with/backing them up towards issues only they have!! I had caught them fudging something between parents (claiming other families were doing specific training they were not) but now discover it gets worse towards the coach. I would think this is very eccentric but now wonder if other teams have had this too.

BRYC?

Haha. BRYC. Haha. Funny one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Actually a parent can submit complaints representing the entire team that may lead the coach to change who he plays, trainings or of the club is small the types of tournaments the team enters.

OP is being vague, but don't underestimate how much a parent can have changed what the team does to suit the parent's schedule, needs, wants which may or may not benefit your child.

Yes this was exactly it. I was specifically quoted as saying several things I never mentioned. The changes are nothing bad for me but I never asked for any of it! I am going to go along with pp's advice to try and be less bothered since the majority opinion seems to be that this is normal behavior.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Actually a parent can submit complaints representing the entire team that may lead the coach to change who he plays, trainings or of the club is small the types of tournaments the team enters.

OP is being vague, but don't underestimate how much a parent can have changed what the team does to suit the parent's schedule, needs, wants which may or may not benefit your child.

Yes this was exactly it. I was specifically quoted as saying several things I never mentioned. The changes are nothing bad for me but I never asked for any of it! I am going to go along with pp's advice to try and be less bothered since the majority opinion seems to be that this is normal behavior.

we have a parent in our club, kid barely made top team, didn't play during a half of a scrimmage at the beginning of the year which resulted in on field tears, parents tried to get coach fired, didn't succeed, proceeded to donate money to the club every month after and by the end of the season was starting in the playoffs...this stuff can work i guess.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Actually a parent can submit complaints representing the entire team that may lead the coach to change who he plays, trainings or of the club is small the types of tournaments the team enters.

OP is being vague, but don't underestimate how much a parent can have changed what the team does to suit the parent's schedule, needs, wants which may or may not benefit your child.

Yes this was exactly it. I was specifically quoted as saying several things I never mentioned. The changes are nothing bad for me but I never asked for any of it! I am going to go along with pp's advice to try and be less bothered since the majority opinion seems to be that this is normal behavior.

we have a parent in our club, kid barely made top team, didn't play during a half of a scrimmage at the beginning of the year which resulted in on field tears, parents tried to get coach fired, didn't succeed, proceeded to donate money to the club every month after and by the end of the season was starting in the playoffs...this stuff can work i guess.

She didn’t improve in that time?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Actually a parent can submit complaints representing the entire team that may lead the coach to change who he plays, trainings or of the club is small the types of tournaments the team enters.

OP is being vague, but don't underestimate how much a parent can have changed what the team does to suit the parent's schedule, needs, wants which may or may not benefit your child.

Yes this was exactly it. I was specifically quoted as saying several things I never mentioned. The changes are nothing bad for me but I never asked for any of it! I am going to go along with pp's advice to try and be less bothered since the majority opinion seems to be that this is normal behavior.

we have a parent in our club, kid barely made top team, didn't play during a half of a scrimmage at the beginning of the year which resulted in on field tears, parents tried to get coach fired, didn't succeed, proceeded to donate money to the club every month after and by the end of the season was starting in the playoffs...this stuff can work i guess.

She didn’t improve in that time?

Good question...was a functional sub by the end of the year in my view.

[Anonymous]

Go to Loudoun, doesn’t happen here

[Anonymous]

This happened last year on two teams at Bethesda for sure - board member parent was removed from the board and his daughter went to another club. Tried to write letters with other parents names included. Tried to get the head coach fired

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This happened last year on two teams at Bethesda for sure - board member parent was removed from the board and his daughter went to another club. Tried to write letters with other parents names included. Tried to get the head coach fired

Happening right now at Bethesda. Certain parents be they board members, team managers, personal friends of coach can basically dictate the lineups.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This happened last year on two teams at Bethesda for sure - board member parent was removed from the board and his daughter went to another club. Tried to write letters with other parents names included. Tried to get the head coach fired

Happening right now at Bethesda. Certain parents be they board members, team managers, personal friends of coach can basically dictate the lineups.

We experienced this at a third club in southern Fairfax County in 2017/2018 season/U10. I was a new parent and another told me my child would not move up out of the white team until I talked to another parent, who happened to be on the board. (I thought at the time, why a parent and not the coach?) That night, I searched other clubs in the area and moved by the end of that season. The young coach did not stay at the club, either, I noticed the next season.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Actually a parent can submit complaints representing the entire team that may lead the coach to change who he plays, trainings or of the club is small the types of tournaments the team enters.

OP is being vague, but don't underestimate how much a parent can have changed what the team does to suit the parent's schedule, needs, wants which may or may not benefit your child.

Yes this was exactly it. I was specifically quoted as saying several things I never mentioned. The changes are nothing bad for me but I never asked for any of it! I am going to go along with pp's advice to try and be less bothered since the majority opinion seems to be that this is normal behavior.

If you allow others to speak for you, then continue. I would mention it the parent and then have a casual conversation with whomever the parent talked to and set the record straight.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Actually a parent can submit complaints representing the entire team that may lead the coach to change who he plays, trainings or of the club is small the types of tournaments the team enters.

OP is being vague, but don't underestimate how much a parent can have changed what the team does to suit the parent's schedule, needs, wants which may or may not benefit your child.

Yes this was exactly it. I was specifically quoted as saying several things I never mentioned. The changes are nothing bad for me but I never asked for any of it! I am going to go along with pp's advice to try and be less bothered since the majority opinion seems to be that this is normal behavior.

Here’s what I would do:

Pleasantly go up to the coach and ask about the changes in an informative tone. Ask why the changes are happening. If the coach says “didn’t you ask for this?” then you can clarify. But a friendly conversation let’s the coach know that the one parent does not speak for you.