Third World War in my House

[Anonymous]

My two teens are having a horrendous screaming, yelling fight with each other right now.
The only reason it is not knock-down , drag-out is because we are physically restraining them.
Please let me know if you have experienced this.
I am trying to stay detached, other than acting as a physical barrier during eruptions.
I remember fighting with my sisters as a teen--is this normal, or are we dysfunctional?

[Anonymous]

OP, I'm sorry I have no advice (only have one teen) but I just wanted to say I'm sorry you're going through this! Good luck!

[Anonymous]

i grew up like this and wish my parents (who were also involved in the sometimes hours-long screaming matches) had said, "Not in my house." I would not allow that. Tell them they need to talk to each other civilly or go in their rooms until the can.

Signed,

been there as a teen but not yet as a mom....

[Anonymous]

Four of my five kids are teens. I wouldn't allow that. Arguing and bickering is normal. Screaming and yelling with the threat of physical violence is not.

Send them both to their rooms. They stay there until they can behave like young adults no matter how long it takes.

I'm wouldn't necessarily label your family as "dysfunctional". But you do have the right to demand respect in your home.

[Anonymous]

One of the main reasons I have only one child is to avoid this kind of crap that I grew up with.

[Anonymous]

"Arguing and bickering is normal. Screaming and yelling with the threat of physical violence is not."


This. If you said your kids were early ES age, maybe. But not by teenagehood. They need to learn some tools to help them control themselves. The most angry you will ever be is with your own family, but you have to have limits.

[Anonymous]

You are in charge. Put your foot down and lay down the law. No disrespectful interaction in your house. Take care of this now because this could continue into adulthood and by then it'll be pretty bad and you won't have as much influence then. And maybe also enroll the whole family in effective communication and anger management classes?

[Anonymous]

My older brother used to bully and hit me all the time as a kid. He was miserable and mean, and to this day I still can't stand him.

My parents never did anything, and just allowed him to beat me up. Please do something.

[Anonymous]

I'm like an earlier poster -- our house always had fighting and screaming with 8 kids and brothers always beating on someone. I only have one kid too to avoid that.

I would turn everything off for a week -- no tv, no cells, no facebook, etc. That will get everyone's attention. Parents are too lenient.

[Anonymous]

Absolutely not. My rule - you may not say or do anything to a sibling that you wouldn't do to any other friend. And I sure hope that's not how they treat their friends!! Go to your room and wreck your own stuff if you want to get POed but don't take it out on another human being. You don't mention ages or genders but it sounds like they need some coping skills to manage the crazy hormone time. Moods and attitude I get, physical violence - no.

[Anonymous]

My dad duct taped us together, back to back, arms down and left us there until we chilled out. I'm sure that would be child abuse now, but it worked.

Unfortunately I don't have any good (modern) advice. I only have one child because I remember how bad my siblings and I were. I hope things get better!