sharing a towenhouse?

[Anonymous]

Im trying to figure out if it would be best for my child and I to rent a small apartment or share a towenhouse with another single mom (she has a child similar age to my own)

what are the pros and cons you can think of?

what NEEDS to be discused before we move in together (if we do)?


thanks

[Anonymous]

(townhouse)

[Anonymous]

I think this depends a lot on your relationship with this other mother and child -- and how well you live with others. Here are the pros and cons I can think of:

Pros:

You save money and/or could get a nicer space

You have another adult for company/sharing responsibilities/emergency childcare

Your child has a companion (this could be a negative thing too)

Cons:

You are now financially enmeshed with another person. If she loses her job or cannot pay the rent, will you be screwed?

You have another adult and child in your space. What if you don't get along with her? What if you and she have different parent styles, different attitudes towards food or television or discipline or whatever?



Just a few things to think about.

[Anonymous]

I think you need to talk about:
(1) overnight (or longer) guests
(2) how common areas will be used and maintained
(3) how expenses will be split (generally the bedrooms are not of the same size and desirability, plus there are things like cable, DSL, etc. that one person may want but the other may not), including what food will be shared (i like sharing condiments as long as the other person doesn't use up everything without replacing.)
(4) what you expect from each other in terms of free babysitting. You don't want someone who expects you to automatically watch her kid every night if she wants to go out, but you also don't want someone who wouldn't keep an eye on your kid for an hour while you ran to the Safeway.
(5) her approach to parenting, i.e. how you settle childhood squabbles, how/if you discipline each other's kids, etc.

If you feel like you're on the same page, it's probably a good idea. You could probably get more space and amenities in a nicer neighborhood than you could alone.

[Anonymous]

Their boyfriend(s) who spends the night. That would be hard for me to deal with, with my child around.

[Anonymous]

great questions.

this would be someone I do not know. and I want to make sure we have everything figured out.

we can afford about the same amount and it should afford us a 3 bedroom townhome but I want to be 100% on the same page with expectations.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:great questions.

this would be someone I do not know. and I want to make sure we have everything figured out.

we can afford about the same amount and it should afford us a 3 bedroom townhome but I want to be 100% on the same page with expectations.

I don't think I'd do this with someone I didn't know. Can you afford to live by yourself?

[Anonymous]

How will the 3 bedrooms be split?

What is your plan if things sour and your housemate splits and leaves a lot of damage and unpaid pills behind? Besides going on Judge Judy? Can you handle your credit getting screwed. Can you afford an eviction?

Assume the best, but plan for the worst. The very worst.

[Anonymous]

I would do this as a last resort. Too risky.

[Anonymous]

1200 is my limit and that includes utilities im not really sure what I can afford on my own ... I need something in NOVA. and in a safe neighboorhood. school district doesnt matter to me at this point ...

I dont mind sharing a room with my son.

[Anonymous]

I think this could potentially be advantageous, but you would want to be very certain about the other person: how reliable is she? You need someone that can make rent, keep the house reasonably in order, pay bills, not bring in any undesirable elements, not make unfair demands on you etc. Make sure you get the ground-rules agreed before you go ahead with this. I think the companionship and ability to have emergency childcare etc on hand would be very valuable - even stuff like being able to head out for 20 minutes at night to buy milk while leaving the kid behind is invaluable.

[Anonymous]

For $1200 you can get something in an older building in Alexandria, maybe south of Old Town (towards the end of the blue line?).

[Anonymous]

Is this through co-abode?

[Anonymous]

no its not through a group or program

[Anonymous]

Wow, if I were picking between the two choices and knew of another single mom who was --- reliable, predictable, and well-matched-- I think I'd go with the townhouse. If that could work for even 1-2 years-- with the right person-- it sounds like it could be fun and a big relief with childcare. With the wrong person, it could be bad of course.

For the single apartment and $1200 budget, here are some of my ideas:
-Have you looked into any of the low-income programs? May not like this idea initially, but seriously, as someone who has been reading about the programs in Arlington and McLean- I'd TOTALLY try to get on the list for these if I were eligible. In Arlington/McLean, developers of some large new condos and developments are required to have a small number of "workforce" units for working adults making lower incomes. I think this would be extremely nice housing, in nice areas. With a child, you may qualify.

-How much are the rents in the older, yet very very nice, low rise 3-4 story brick buildings in Arlington? These would be a very nice place to live I think. There are quite a number of these buildings all over Arlington.