Traveling With Extended Family

[Anonymous]

Curious - how often do people go on vacations with extended family (such as beach vacations with 3 generations) esp. if everyone lives relatively close to each other and sees everyone somewhat frequently throughout the year?

[Anonymous]

Once, sometimes twice a year. I think it's nice, the kids and grandparents can hang out and give the parents a break, or even if not an actual break, just provide an extra set of hands. And we see each other at least weekly, occasionally more than once a week.

[Anonymous]

We generally do it at least once a year (beach) and sometimes twice (Disney, ILs have a timeshare there).

We generally see each other 5-6 times a year as well. ILs live in midwest, SIL in Philly.

[Anonymous]

We attempt to do it once a year. However as the kids and grandparents get older its been harder to find a place or activities that work for everyone. We've done the beach, the mountains, etc. Don't even get me started with everyone's "NEEDS" or the early birds vs. the no kids sleep all day relatives. Or the people that require all meals MUST be eaten together and yet they are unwilling to compromise on time and type of meal or even cook or help out with the kids. We took a break from it last year and now will attempt to do it again this summer. Although taking a 94 year old grandparent to the mountains with the expectation there will be generalization hiking is really crazy. But then again that's family for you.

[Anonymous]

Can't recommend it, but it might be a necessary evil. MIL rents a house and her children go, the spouses generally opt out. There is something about digging up old familial roles that doesn't quite coincide with the word vacation. That, and MIL refuses to help with the children. Not exactly attitudes to look forward to. MIL lives very close but rarely sees DC, so it is humorous to me that we are expected to schlep 6 hours at her time and place of choice. That said, I know a lot of people do the NC thing. Personally, me and my friends would rather go north in the dead of summer - not south where the humidity is a zillion percent, and you end up running into the same old faces down there! NC did not have anything to do for my children.

There are a few factors to consider: How old are your children, OP? Are your ILs/family helpful? Do you see family while here (are they pleasant/involved) and not on vacation? Do they expect you to put forth the effort or do they realize you are the one that needs the extra set of hands? Is it considered a vacation - is it really something that would be relaxing? Does your/his family actually enjoy each other while away together? Do you have anything in common?

You are smart to think it through, as vacation time and "adult family" time is so precious, especially these days! We have had a really tough year and the thought of putting up with other people's crap during our limited vacation time is not so appealing, to be honest. Maybe you are more fortunate than we are. Before the naysayers/fingerpointers say "maybe its you" - trust me, its not. DH comes from a passive aggressive, ugly past. Enough said.

[Anonymous]

We were forced to do it this year as a result of a very-far-away family wedding, but we all tried to minimize our time together to only that necessary and would do that again in a heartbeat (but hopefully we won't have to!). I live close to my mom, and we are fairly close, but we should never live together or travel together.