Preschool admissions playdate

[Anonymous]

We are applying to several preschools in the area (Aidan, Franklin, NCRC), and this week we are bringing our toddler in for her first admissions playdate. I've never done anything like this (I grew up in public schools) and have no idea what to expect. What happens during these playdates? What are the schools looking for? Do they just watch our child play and take notes? I'm not trying to prepare my kid - she's great as she is - but I'm starting to feel anxious about the whole thing.

[Anonymous]

Don't be nervous! You need to think in terms of how your child will like the school. I have done playdates at NCRC twice now. The kids get to play with some toys at the little tables, have a snack and then listen to a story. I didn't prep my children. I basically told them, "hey, we are going to go look at a school and see how you like it!"

Aiden is unusual because it is a one-on-one with a woman. The husband of my friend told me he was very thankful his son didn't get into Aiden because he really disliked the atmosphere. I am not a Montessori follower and my kids are in play based programs, however they are thrilled with Franklin!

It really isn't a big deal.

[Anonymous]

Aidan parent here, if you search this board you'll see some discussion of negative experiences people have had with the admissions playdate there. I don't doubt that those posts are sincere, but our experience was not similarly negative; I think that different people react differently to watching their child in that sort of environment.

Basically, the teacher just asks your child to follow some simple directions and to interact with the Montessori materials there, etc. Nothing to be nervous about or anything that requires prep. I think some parents really dislike that format, because it feels like their child is being evaluated, but it didn't really bother us.

FWIW, we've had a very positive experience at Aidan, which is a much warmer place, in our experience, than some of the comments on this board suggest.

[Anonymous]

PP we had the same experience at Aidan and DC loves it there. The playdate was a beautiful one on one introduction to a Montessori classroom. OP, no need to prepare your child. These experienced teachers know just what to do. You will get to see how a Montesorri teacher gives a lesson and how your child responds.

[Anonymous]

Interesting thread. Question: As part of the admission process in a DC preschool (which will remain nameless), I am being asked to drop off my toddler and *leave* the building for the 45-minute playdate. I show up, I leave the toddler, I leave the building, ai come back 45 minutes later. I have *never* left my toddler in an environment that is completely unfamiliar to her -- maybe in a second visit, but never in the first.

Is this normal/standard? I have gone to other playdates, and while parents are expected to be as un-intrusive as possible, they were not asked to disappear for the duration of the playdate.

Thanks

[Anonymous]

I have the same concerns as 00:23 being asked to leave
toddler for 45min playmate - maybe we're talking of same
School (fms). I just don't understand why parents of 5-6 kids can't stay on the premises....

[Anonymous]

I meant playdate - that iPhone autocorrect is annoying !

[Anonymous]

I thought it was pretty annoying when I was told that my 2yr old (with a fair share of stranger anxiety) would be taken downstairs and I had to hang out in a separate room for the playdate. I get why I can't be in the room, but to have no idea what they're up to, how it went? If they told me I had to leave the building altogether, my 2yr old would be coming with me.

[Anonymous]

Thanks for the replies.

To 20:04. Yes: we are talking about the same school. I am pretty upset about being asked to leave the building ... they are saying that I will have "five minutes" to help the toddler become familiar, but then I need to leave.

Everyone I have spoken to about this school's playdate find it to be a bizarre arrangement -- even our pediatrician.

I was seriously planning to not attend. But I am going to force myself to attend and tell them in site that I feel uncomfortable leaving the toddler I will ask them to allow me to stay. If they insist (in a nice manner) that I leave the room , I will insist on staying on the premises. If they ask me to leave the building, I will most likely do what 16:08 said.

To 20:04 -- should we both protest and raise the issue together right before the playdate, with the hope that they will come to their senses and allow us to stay?

(By the way: look at their website: they said that applicants "and their families" will be invited to their playdate as part of the admission process)

[Anonymous]

I don't know guys....

Any preschool that requires you to leave your 2 or 3 year old in an unfamiliar environment with unfamiliar people just doesn't seem to respect the children's feelings or best interests. It's just not a nice thing to do to put a child through that. I'm sure some are fine with it but others might get very frightened. I would ask what their reasoning is here. I also wonder if this lack of respect for the children carries over into other aspects of the program.

[Anonymous]

It seems perfectly reasonable to me to have the kids without the parents. They are trying to see if your child is ready for school. If your child isn't prepared to deal with different teachers away from the parents, maybe they aren't ready. I don't really understand why a school would ask you to leave the premises - maybe a lack of space(?) - I wouldn't really mind as that is what I would be doing if my child went to the school, but I might find it a little inconvenient. On the other hand, I might like the break....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: They are trying to see if your child is ready for school. If your child isn't prepared to deal with different teachers away from the parents, maybe they aren't ready.

But it's February, and the kids won't start school until September, 7 months later. Seven months is an eternity, in terms of development, in the life of a 2 (or 1!) year old. Whether they're ready for separation in an unfamiliar environment now says absolutely nothing about their readiness this fall.

[Anonymous]

20:04 here
I distinctly remember at the open house being told that there would be a playdate in Feb/March and that both parents would be required to attend - one of
the reasons I was surprised at this child only request. I can understand wanting to see how the children interact without the parent present - but why not
have the parents wait in the hallway. Granted they are limited on space - the room where they held the open house may be occupied with the kids from
the classroom where their having the playdate. At any rate, I agree with 00:23, I plan to attend the playdate but will not be leaving the premises - if that is a problem this school is not a good fit. (btw, I'm scheduled for next Thursday 00:23)
Another thing (although this might be petty) - I e-mailed the director several months ago with a general question about her philosophy on foreign language education and she never e-mailed me back. I let it go because I figured she is busy and might not have time to respond to individual questions by e-mail. However, the more I think about it she could have just written back - "let's discuss this at a later date". Any thoughts ?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:20:04 here
I distinctly remember at the open house being told that there would be a playdate in Feb/March and that both parents would be required to attend - one of
the reasons I was surprised at this child only request. I can understand wanting to see how the children interact without the parent present - but why not
have the parents wait in the hallway. Granted they are limited on space - the room where they held the open house may be occupied with the kids from
the classroom where their having the playdate. At any rate, I agree with 00:23, I plan to attend the playdate but will not be leaving the premises - if that is a problem this school is not a good fit. (btw, I'm scheduled for next Thursday 00:23)
Another thing (although this might be petty) - I e-mailed the director several months ago with a general question about her philosophy on foreign language education and she never e-mailed me back. I let it go because I figured she is busy and might not have time to respond to individual questions by e-mail. However, the more I think about it she could have just written back - "let's discuss this at a later date". Any thoughts ?

Sounds like you are already unhappy with the school. Why bother with the playdate?

[Anonymous]

20:04 here
Yes, I agree, I do sound disgruntled ! I just wonder if I'm blowing things out of proportion.
Part of the reason that I'm really interested in the school is because it follows the French national curriculum - there aren't too many schools which offer this - actually only one other I know of.