When I Said I Was Fat Tonight...

[Anonymous]

My eight year old cried and insisted I wasn't. Not even sure where I go with that.

She is skinny as can be and knows my post 2 babies belly bothers me. I weight probably 5-10 pounds more than I'd like to, most of it right in the middle. Lucky me. No, I am not actually "fat," in the medical sense (I am well within normal limits even for someone with small bones, and I am proibably small to medium boned). I used to be a "stick," as my husband puts it, just like her, too.

I am not sure why she cried. But it bothers me. Thoughts?

[Anonymous]

way to be a role model.. and not pass on early body image phobias..

[Anonymous]

Somewhere, somehow (hmmm... I wonder where?) she has already gotten the message that concept of "fat" is negative and repugnant.

[Anonymous]

Why would you say that in front of your 8 year old? It's not true and you're going to give her body image issues. Haven't you learned anything about body image and young girls over the past few years, or did you just not think it applied to your family?

[Anonymous]

OP, stop. stop. stop. calling yourself "fat." Lose the weight or live with it; but please don't say anything like that around your daughter.

I know you want to lose the last 5-10, good for you (sincerely). But that is soooo not something that she should ever hear about, much less be worrying about. I was struck by the thread on "the worst thing my parents (mom?) said to me" as to how many were moms who made weight-related comments to their daughters.

I get it. I want to lose weight too. But more than I want to lose 5-10 pounds, I want to be sure my kid has a healthy body image and is not defined by what the scale says.

[Anonymous]

From someone who went to rehab for an eating disorder, way to go... My mom did that too. She was constantly on a diet and a fabulous role model for an eating disorder.

Next time try to put your kids first? When you become a parent you give up the right to be selfish, and involving your child in your weight woes is inappropriate and selfish.

[Anonymous]

Yes... I agree that it is wrong for OP to talk about her weight like this in front of her daughter... But instead of beating her up,why not help her know what to say to her DD now... tell her what she should do to try to fix this before it gets worse.. beating her up isn't helping anyone.

OP, You need to discuss this with your daughter. Let her know that you're healthy, and that you're actually normal... She needs to know that she, herself doesn't ever have to strive to be skinny like that... Please talk to your daughter and fix this.

[Anonymous]

troll. that's my thought.

[jdmiller]

I am not sure why she cried. But it bothers me. Thoughts?

I think she cried because she realized you are her mother. Just a thought...

[Anonymous]

seriously, OP, you aren't this clueless?!?!?!

[Anonymous]

I also suspect a troll here. Everyone knows not to inflict body image concerns on little girls.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I also suspect a troll here. Everyone knows not to inflict body image concerns on little girls.

Yeah, everyone "knows." Just like everyone "knows" not to be racist, to welcome the disabled, and to be accepting of gays. But somehow, these things happen.

[Anonymous]

I don't think this is a troll at all. I hate when people say that about any controversial post.

OP, your daughter is at such a sensitive age. I had an eating disorder and the downhill slide toward it started at around 9 or 10. I think now would be a good time to examine and deal with your body image issues, for your sake and your daughter's sake, so that you don't pass them on to her.

Your daughter cried because you are her mother and she thinks you're beautiful. Try to see what she sees. I don't think anyone's body is the same after having babies. It's reality. Change what you can, and accept what you can't, and you will be much happier.

Oh, and it's great to stop saying things like this in front of your daughter, but if you just stop saying them but still think them she'll pick up on it. So it would be great, for her sake and yours, if you can really find a way to deal with it.