Need Advice about Asking Family Members to Volunteer for Kidney Donation

[Anonymous]

I am at a lost in how to broach this topic with my family. My nine year old son was born in kidney failure. I donated my kidney to him when he was two. The kidney has lasted for seven years but he is now going through rejection and we need to find another donor. My husband is not the same blood type so he is not an option. Sibling is too young. I have friends who are willing to get tested to see if they are a match. I have co-workers who have volunteered. However, no one on either side of the family has mentioned anything about wanting to getting tested or that they have considered volunteering.

I am disappointed and embarrassed that no one in my family is willing. I am African American and I am aware that generally there is fear and misinformation within my community and more than likely in my family concerning organ donation of any kind. However, they have seen me go through donation and are aware that I am perfectly fine.

I guess I could move on and just allow friends and/or coworkers to get tested but it is embarrassing when someone asks "no one in your family is a matech?' More important, a living related donor is the best possible candidate for a successful transplant.

My husband thinks we should send out a letter to our family, explaining our need and educating them about organ donation. But here lately, I am thinking that maybe I am underestimating how big of a deal this is and that I should not have an expectation that anyone in my family should be willing to do this. This is making me uncomfortable about bringing up the subject in the form of a letter. But why is it that people that I have only known for less than a year are ready and willing but yet my family is not?

Signed
Confused and Disappointed

Any advice is welcome

[Anonymous]

Wow, OP... I'm really sorry that you're going through this... I'm also sorry that 23 people have viewed this and no one has offered any advice or support to you..

I think, if worded correctly, that your husbands idea of a letter would be a great idea.. Explain that you understand that this is a big deal, and a lot to ask, perhaps talk about what your son is going through as far as symptoms and why it's extremely important that he recieves this donor kidney.. Definitely put some good information about kidney donation, and make sure to include the good AND bad that comes along with it, so that if someone does volunteer they aren't blindsided.. And make sure that you mention the wonderful gift that they would be giving your son, and the world by allowing him to stay in it..

Good luck to you OP.. I can't imagine how difficult this must be for your family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow, OP... I'm really sorry that you're going through this... I'm also sorry that 23 people have viewed this and no one has offered any advice or support to you..

The OP got a lot of responses to another post, so I think the lack of response may just represent the fact that people have already given their advice...