How to support a friend going through a miscarriage?

[Anonymous]

A very dear friend suffered a miscarriage this week, and I am looking for ideas of how I can support her during this difficult time. She and her husband have been TTC for more than a year and this was the first time they'd had any success -- she was only about 8 weeks along but is taking it very, very hard.

She lives across the country and has specifically told me and the others in our circle that she does NOT want to talk or visit with anyone right now. I sent her a nice email expressing my condolences as soon as I got her email about the loss. I am planning to send her a hand-written note later this week, and will of course give her whatever time she needs to grieve this loss and move forward.

Is there anything else I can do to show her I am thinking of her and there for her, whenever she is ready for a friend?

[Anonymous]

Everyone is different, so there really is not a right answer to this question. When I went through my last miscarriage, really more that anything I wanted to be left alone and thankfully my friends that knew what I was going through respected this. A hand written note is definitely a nice gesture and I am sure she would apperciate it. But I would give her some time till she is ready to talk about it. Maybe in a couple of weeks send her a quick email to know you are thinking of her and there for her if/when she wants to talk about anything.