how long do you usually stay when invited over for dinner?

[Anonymous]

We have some friends who invite us to dinner parties often. Usually the other guests arrive pretty late (say invite was at 7, people show up at 8) so dinner is not served till like 9, 9:30, and dessert till like 10:30-11... is this common?
i would expect if invited at 7, to be out by 9:30-10 at the most....

thoughts?

[Anonymous]

meant 8, not the smiley face

[Anonymous]

Are these friends w/o kids? I would eat the paint off the wall if I had to wait until 9:30 to eat dinner!

Most of our friends usually show up close to time (within 30 minutes or so), so if the invite is for 7, everyone's usually there by 7:30 and dinner has been served by 8. We're usually done with dessert, lounging and small-talk by 10, 10:30 at the latest, unless conversation is exceptionally good. Then it may be all night

[Anonymous]

they have kids and we are usually invited with kids.

[Anonymous]

I would never expect to be out by 9:30 at a dinner party if I showed up at 7. It's not dinner at a restaurant.

I would find it akward if dinner was served right away after guests arrived. But I'm the type (as are our friends) that would expect drinks and mingling and some sort of hors d'oeuvres or a cheese plate to start the evening off. Then dinner, some more mingling, and then dessert.

Maybe it's because we're still in our 30s and because we're pretty social, but I would certainly expect to be at a dinner party until 11 if the invite was for 7.

I'm sure that the guests showing up an hour late threw things off a bith though.

[Anonymous]

With kids! Wow.

[Anonymous]

I'm asleep by 9 pm, earlier if I have been drinking. We arrive ON TIME and are always the first to leave. No one cares.

[Anonymous]

we only invite poeple we like to be around and we let them know, stay as long as you want, sit down take off your shoes make yourself at home and they do. the kids play and when things go downhill, then they leave but at our house, you are wlecome to come early and stay late-

[Anonymous]

The timeline above sounds right to me. It's a dinner party/get together. You can always coordinate with the host if you need to be home earlier (for DCs).

Since most people don't get home from work until after 6, wouldn't it be hard to get the meal ready before 8? Or am I the only quaint person who doesn't cater?

[Anonymous]

We generally have the schedule that you describe. We try to move it earlier, but many friends (even those with kids) have trouble getting there earlier. As people are often so late, we generally have to wait until we know they are there to do the last minute cooking/heating. As hosts, we have learned not to fight it and to be more laid back about the timing. Otherwise it stresses us out to much. Even if others were not constantly late, however, I don't think I would ever serve dinner within 30-45 minutes of the start because I think people enjoy a pre-dinner cocktail and kids like to go crazy for a bit before being required to sit for dinner. But, a dinner party at our house usually lasts until 10 - 10:30 regardless of the start time....

[Anonymous]

As soon as the host/hostess yawns, that's my hint to leave.

[Anonymous]

We went over to a friend's house last Saturday (collectively kids are between 3 and 9 yo). We arrived at about 5:30, ate at 7, left at 9:30-ish. So the 7:00 arrival time sounds a bit late to me if you have kids, but only spending 2-3 hours for a dinner gathering seems short to me. I also don't expect (or care) to eat dinner as soon as I get to someone's house.

[Anonymous]

invite them over earlier then...

are they American?

[Anonymous]

We have frequent impromptu dinners with a group of neighbors...kids come too. The parents drink, appetizer...and gen. eat a bit later...when they start getting hungry. Kids sometimes come already fed (since they arrive 6ish)...if not the host will warm up something quick for the kids---chix nuggets, mac-n-cheese..whatever is on hand.

Nobody ends up going home until midnight-1am. Kids range from 2.5-6 and all play amazingly well together...no fights or drama. Mine will sleep until 11 am the next day.

I think all of the parents were formerly party animals....and it appears to be genetic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:we only invite poeple we like to be around and we let them know, stay as long as you want, sit down take off your shoes make yourself at home and they do. the kids play and when things go downhill, then they leave but at our house, you are wlecome to come early and stay late-

See, I think its rude to stay until things go downhill. The polite thing to do is to leave BEFORE things go downhill, but especially the host's children. Nothing worse than having guests who are oblivious to the host's children who are DONE with having all these people over an start falling apart, requiring the hosts to attend to them and ignore the guests, creating awkwardness for everyone.