DCUM book club: Room by Emma Donahue (Spoiler alert)

[Anonymous]

Good morning, DCUM.

This is the thread for discussion of the book "Room." I'm dying to start this thread off because I have a lot of thoughts about the book, which I liked a lot, but alas I am behind on a deadline and will have to check in later. Can't wait to see the discussion.

[Anonymous]

Ok, OP back again. I thought this was going to be the more popular book! I must confess that I haven't finished Olive yet.

I really, really enjoyed Room. I was actually somewhat afraid to read it because the subject matter seemed so incredibly dark. I was afraid of my reactions because I was afraid I'd identify with the mom too much (not the abuse, but the attachment to child, the pain of seeing the child grow up and need more than you can offer, etc). In many ways, the "room" they were in seemed symbolic of early childhood where the mom is a baby's whole world. Extended, of course, due to the wild and bizarre circumstances the mother and son were in, of course.

The hardest part of the book, for me, was when Jack was on his own with his grandparents, basically growing up and away from his mom. And the weaning part, where she told him she could no longer nurse him, really struck a chord with me. The fact that he kissed her breasts goodbye was sweet and innocent and heartbreaking all at once. This part of the book said so many things to me.

I had a really, really hard time with Ma's suicide attempt. It's not that she had no right to do it, it's just that it seemed so inconsistent to her character. I tried to remember that the character had just had it suggested that it was selfish of her not to try to put Jack up for adoption, and that is why she did it, but at the same time it just doesn't match anything that the author had painstakingly constructed for her character. EVen though it provided the necessary vehicle to separate Jack from his mother, I think she could have achieved this without the suicide factor. It seemed extraneous and made me so angry. I had a very hard time forgiving Ma's character for that and the rest of the novel seemed different to me.

As far as the writing style goes, Donahue seemed spot-on to me with Jack's inner monologue and external communication. I thought the thickness of narrative when it was just two (or three) folks in the "room" shows literary brilliance. I didn't quite feel as positive about the way she constructed other characters or dialogue among adults. The brother and his wife seemed like caricatures to me and the dialogue seemed stilted. I had a hard time believing that any of these characters would be so casual with Jack after what he'd been through -- the mall scene, particularly.

I liked the character development we got with the grandparents, the grandmother, especially. When she said to Ma "I never forgot any moments with you, either" was lovely. Made me want to call my mother, who parents as differently from me as grandmother parented from Ma.

In all, one of my favorite books this year (well, last year). But problematic in parts.

[Anonymous]

I loved the book, and I loved your reflection of it! I never even thought about comparing it to the womb, etc.

One thing that surprised me was how many directions the book pulled me. When they were in the room, I wanted them to get out so badly -- I clearly identified with the mother and felt a bit irritated at the boy's reluctance to leave. However once they were outside, I identified with the boy and wanted them to go back into the room where it was "safe." I was irritated at the family for not clearly understanding the boy's/mom's ordeal (I mean, taking the boy to a mall?!?!?), but then I thought, what would I do if I were in their shoes?

As for the suicide attempt, I looked at it as total conflict within Ma. She clearly loved her boy and she was inordinately patient with him while in Room; however, when they got out, I got the sense that he inhibited her "freedom" to some degree, and that troubled her. It was very sad. Remember - when she left the real world, she was 19 and childless. She stepped back into that world as a completely different woman. I'm not giving her excuses, I'm just trying to understand what she was feeling.

[Anonymous]

This was the first book in a very, very long time, perhaps ever, that actually had me feeling physically anxious - like racing heart - when he was in the back of the truck, rolled up in the rug. And throughout the search for the shed. I am glad she ended the imprisonment section when she did; I could not have read much more.

It's been a few weeks since I finished the book, but I don't think the suicide attempt bothered me as much as it did you. I felt like she'd kept it together as best she possibly could, for so long, and finally hit a moment where she gave in and gave up, knowing that Jack was safe. Sure, it made me angry with her, but a part of me also understood how she got to that point.

I agree with you about the brother and SIL, and the mall scene. I didn't really understand them as people, or why they'd act the way they did. But it could be that they were just trying to act normally, as though nothing had ever happened. People do that and it's just as baffling in real life as in a book.

Also one of my favorites of the year, though not an easy read by any means.

Perhaps more to add later; have to run to a meeting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I loved the book, and I loved your reflection of it! I never even thought about comparing it to the womb, etc.

One thing that surprised me was how many directions the book pulled me. When they were in the room, I wanted them to get out so badly -- I clearly identified with the mother and felt a bit irritated at the boy's reluctance to leave. However once they were outside, I identified with the boy and wanted them to go back into the room where it was "safe." I was irritated at the family for not clearly understanding the boy's/mom's ordeal (I mean, taking the boy to a mall?!?!?), but then I thought, what would I do if I were in their shoes?

As for the suicide attempt, I looked at it as total conflict within Ma. She clearly loved her boy and she was inordinately patient with him while in Room; however, when they got out, I got the sense that he inhibited her "freedom" to some degree, and that troubled her. It was very sad. Remember - when she left the real world, she was 19 and childless. She stepped back into that world as a completely different woman. I'm not giving her excuses, I'm just trying to understand what she was feeling.

You're right, of course. It was just hard for me because she'd been such a hero. I know she's allowed to be human, too. Maybe the "flaw," if there is one, is in the first part of the book. She was a hero, a paragon, etc. Then just a human on the outside. I guess that continues to relate to my metaphor of early infancy / even as you say, the womb, vs. the rest of a child's life.

[Anonymous]

The boy's reluctance to leave, and the fact that he missed his captivity, was to me one of the most authentic notes in the book. This was the only world he had ever known. It was his home. Even an abused child loves his parents. It would have been false and unbelievable if he immediately loved the outside world and never thought of "Room" again. The author was brave to depict Jack authentically, as having wistful and genuine loving feelings toward his captivity.

[Anonymous]

I think the suicide attempt reflected the fact that the questioner at the press conference made reference to the notion that perhaps she was selfish in having given birth to Jack while in captivity. I think the questioner asked her something like "Why didn't you get [Old Nick] to drop him off at the ER when he was a newborn?" I don't think Ma could deal with the guilt of having deliberately had Jack and kept him in captivity.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This was the first book in a very, very long time, perhaps ever, that actually had me feeling physically anxious - like racing heart - when he was in the back of the truck, rolled up in the rug. And throughout the search for the shed. I am glad she ended the imprisonment section when she did; I could not have read much more.

It's been a few weeks since I finished the book, but I don't think the suicide attempt bothered me as much as it did you. I felt like she'd kept it together as best she possibly could, for so long, and finally hit a moment where she gave in and gave up, knowing that Jack was safe. Sure, it made me angry with her, but a part of me also understood how she got to that point.

I agree with you about the brother and SIL, and the mall scene. I didn't really understand them as people, or why they'd act the way they did. But it could be that they were just trying to act normally, as though nothing had ever happened. People do that and it's just as baffling in real life as in a book.

Also one of my favorites of the year, though not an easy read by any means.

Perhaps more to add later; have to run to a meeting.

Same! I was actually sweating a little bit as I was reading the part about the escape. My son was napping and woke up just as the dog was biting him and Old Nick was running away. I was pretty sure Ma was going to escape from reviews / back cover of the book, but I didn't know if there would be a physical confrontation or what. It was incredible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The boy's reluctance to leave, and the fact that he missed his captivity, was to me one of the most authentic notes in the book. This was the only world he had ever known. It was his home. Even an abused child loves his parents. It would have been false and unbelievable if he immediately loved the outside world and never thought of "Room" again. The author was brave to depict Jack authentically, as having wistful and genuine loving feelings toward his captivity.

I know, and I agree. When they revisited Room at the end, and Jack was saying goodbye to everything, I nearly lost it. I thought that part was so well done. It drove home how huge the issue was: the mom wanted nothing more than to put it all behind her. But the child, it was his whole life. As angry as I was about the suicide, I forgave Ma when she did such a generous thing for her son. It was a very difficult book.

[Anonymous]

This book drew me in like nothing has in a long time. And I too was physically anxious during the escape scene. I was reading this at bedtime and so should not have because I couldn't stop reading until I'd gotten past that part first. I hadn't read the reviews and so I truly didn't know they were going to survive. I realized it was only halfway through the book, but I thought that one of them wasn't going to make it.

The creativity of how Ma kept Jack entertained in Room was remarkable. If my DD gets bored, I bring out a new toy or take her somewhere. Ma and Jack were stuck in a room with only whatever they happened to have, and it was just so cool all the games and activities they came up with.

Like someone else said, Ma's suicide attempt bothered me too. It was too undeveloped. I couldn't tell if she did it because of the interview questions, or if she planned the suicide and agreed to the interview to get the $ for Jack's college fund. If maybe she held on just long enough to get Jack safe and then couldn't bear the thought of living with what had happened to her.

A couple of other nuggets the authoer threw in that I felt should have been left out or taken somewhere - Ma's jackass father, who assumed she was dead and had a funeral for her (why?), and who apparently thought she ran off on her own (why?). And the abortion at age 18. And as others mentioned the brother/SIL. The mall trip was absurd, but I actually thought they were just overwhelmed parents trying to fit in an errand that they thought wouldn't take long and just hadn't realized that what was a quick, ordinary errand to them would be a new, exciting experience for Jack. Perhaps that is my FTM perspective speaking.

I really liked Steppa. He seemed like he was the kind of guy who would have been a great dad, but was too immature (or stoned) when he was younger and he was just what Jack needed. And I liked how Grandma was sort of rigid at first (judging Ma for still nursing Jack - ummm, hello, how do you wean when you're in an 11x11 room 24/7?), but then when Jack came to stay with her she seemed to mellow and realize that what he needed was more important than sticking to the "rules" (i.e., getting in the bathtub with him, lying down next to him the first night).

Great book choice! I really liked it, if that is the right way to say it given the disturbing subject matter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This book drew me in like nothing has in a long time. And I too was physically anxious during the escape scene. I was reading this at bedtime and so should not have because I couldn't stop reading until I'd gotten past that part first. I hadn't read the reviews and so I truly didn't know they were going to survive. I realized it was only halfway through the book, but I thought that one of them wasn't going to make it.

Oh my gosh, it would have been really hard to read without knowing they were going to survive. I think I would have needed grief counseling if one of the characters died!!! Seriously.

The creativity of how Ma kept Jack entertained in Room was remarkable. If my DD gets bored, I bring out a new toy or take her somewhere. Ma and Jack were stuck in a room with only whatever they happened to have, and it was just so cool all the games and activities they came up with.

I know. And I also thought it was pretty cool the way Ma made their feeble escape attempts "practicing shouting as loud as they can" to exercise their lungs a game and not something scary or confusing to Jack.

Like someone else said, Ma's suicide attempt bothered me too. It was too undeveloped. I couldn't tell if she did it because of the interview questions, or if she planned the suicide and agreed to the interview to get the $ for Jack's college fund. If maybe she held on just long enough to get Jack safe and then couldn't bear the thought of living with what had happened to her.

A couple of other nuggets the authoer threw in that I felt should have been left out or taken somewhere - Ma's jackass father, who assumed she was dead and had a funeral for her (why?), and who apparently thought she ran off on her own (why?). And the abortion at age 18. And as others mentioned the brother/SIL. The mall trip was absurd, but I actually thought they were just overwhelmed parents trying to fit in an errand that they thought wouldn't take long and just hadn't realized that what was a quick, ordinary errand to them would be a new, exciting experience for Jack. Perhaps that is my FTM perspective speaking.

I actually thought the father was an honest character. He had a hard time with the child who he sees as the product of his daughter's rape. I think the father is really just a canvas, though, for Ma to assert herself and be protective of Jack. And a foil for us to like Steppa more.

I really liked Steppa. He seemed like he was the kind of guy who would have been a great dad, but was too immature (or stoned) when he was younger and he was just what Jack needed. And I liked how Grandma was sort of rigid at first (judging Ma for still nursing Jack - ummm, hello, how do you wean when you're in an 11x11 room 24/7?), but then when Jack came to stay with her she seemed to mellow and realize that what he needed was more important than sticking to the "rules" (i.e., getting in the bathtub with him, lying down next to him the first night).

Ditto this exactly. This is what I was trying to express earlier, that the grandparents learned and grew with Jack. I LOVED steppa's relationship. What was it about sitting on the couch, having some juice and watching the game? When Jack had freaked out? I just love character development like this. I forgave her the brother and SIL for steppa's character. And while grandma made me angry at first, I started to get really sympathetic to her. By the time she arranged to have Jack's things brought back from "room," I was pro-grandma and convinced that Jack was going to be okay even if Ma wasn't.

Great book choice! I really liked it, if that is the right way to say it given the disturbing subject matter.