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Not sure if my DS has OCD or if this is something else? A phase?
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Anonymous
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I have OCD, so I know what to look for. I am probably over-aware of some of the symptoms. To make a long story short, I posted under General Parenting a few weeks ago. DS is 4 (turned 4 in September) and he randomly had a pee pee accident one night when Santa came through the neighborhood on a fire truck waving and with lights blaring and flashing (he has never done that. I think he was overexcited and had not gone to the bathroom in awhile and had his first pee pee accident after being potty trained for #1 for a LONG time). We did NOT make him feel ashamed in any way (at least we tried hard not to). He is a very sensitive child and it is possible he internalized this. The next day (a Sunday) he went to pee basically every 15-20 minutes. My DH took him to the ped's that Monday, b/c we were thinking a UTI. She checked his urine and sent out for a culture and also decided to check for diabetes. Luckily, all was clear. The ped said maybe he is blocked up and this is giving him the same sensation. He doesn't have hard little poops and has BMs quite frequently. Well, fast forward 3 weeks and he is still going to the bathroom frequently. He will say to me, "I have to go" and then we go and it is a little dribble. This is really upsetting me b/c with my OCD, I know the struggles (feeling like I HAVE to check the stove, HAVE to check that the door is locked, etc). I am on medication for my OCD.
DS has had a few days where he has gone to the bathroom SO MANY TIMES (he is in preschool and one of his teacher's confirmed this) and other days that he has seemed fine. I don't know whether to tell him that his body doesn't have to go, to ignore this behavior, etc. I don't know what to do! I even wondered if this was PANDAS related OCD? It is strange b/c the trigger seems to be the Saturday night Santa thing, but I am not sure! |
Anonymous
| We've been through the same thing with my DS who has Aspergers. Its a brain thing, not a urinary thing. What we did was slowly draw out the period of time at which he could go to the bathroom. In other words, one day it would be every ten minutes, and if he said he had to go short of that time he would have to wait but it wouldn't be long. The next day was 5 minutes and so on. There were rewards built in at various stages. We worked with DS' teachers to enforce this and it worked. What happens with some kids is that they first feel some kind of urge and they think they have to address it right away and then they can't think of anything else until they go. It could be an OCD thing, but not necessarily. Our DS does not have OCD (but with Aspergers he does have perseverative thoughts, so related). |
Anonymous
| I meant the next day was 15 minutes, not 5. |
Anonymous
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Thank you, 16:41. I am really freaking out. I have talked to a few family members (who don't have OCD) and they are all like "don't worry so much". Well, I am a worrier anyway and when something is interfering with daily activities, it is a problem. I am worried about PANDAS b/c I read that a symptom can be frequent daytime urination. I will try your suggestion but will also have to follow-up with the ped. This is from a PANDAS website (National Institute of Mental Health).
Q. Are there any other symptoms associated with PANDAS episodes? A. Yes. Children with PANDAS often experience one or more of the following symptoms in conjunction with their OCD and/or tics: --ADHD symptoms (hyperactivity, inattention, fidgety) --Separation anxiety (Child is "clingy" and has difficulty separating from his/her caregivers. For example, the child may not want to be in a different room in the house from his/her parents.) --Mood changes (irritability, sadness, emotional lability) --Sleep disturbance --Night- time bed wetting and/or day- time urinary frequency --Fine/gross motor changes (e.g. changes in handwriting) --Joint pains |
Anonymous
| Is it possible that there is a sub-clinical UTI? |
Anonymous
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OP,
I mean this in the kindest way possible, having read your previous 2 threads - you need to get your own OCD and anxiety under better control. Please call your doctor and your therapist tomorrow. Peeing frequently is not going to harm your kid in any way. In all likelihood it will pass if that is his only symptom. In the other threads people pointed out that this has sometimes happened with their kids, often after a virus, and it passed in a few weeks. You have had him checked for anything serious having to do with urination and it is fine. Your posts have a real frantic tone that is so sad, I can't imagine that your son isn't picking up on it. With the best of intentions you can be creating a real problem. There will always be stuff with kids. He may end up with OCD, there can be a genetic link, or he may not. His urination can have nothing to do with it whatsoever. But you need to get some support for yourself and some coping strategies. See a doctor who specializes in PANDAS if that will put your mind at ease. Consult with a child psych about possible OCD. But take care of the part that you are bringing to the situation, and take good care of you. If your child has a predisposition toward anxiety and OCD and that is the behavior that is being modeled he doesn't really have a chance. I wish you peace, if your doc can't do better you might want to get yourself a second opinion. |
Anonymous
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PANDAS doesn't have to be a life sentence. I have several friends whose PANDAS children have recovered with the use of homeopathics.
Google Pleo Sanum Sans Strep. |
Anonymous
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16:41 again and I agree you are ramping up too much on OCD and PANDAS. he peed in public, he doesn't want that to happen again and so he's going everytime the thought crosses his mind. My completely NT daughter was told by a classmate at about the same age as your DC that a person can swallow their tongue and die and so she started compulsively sticking her tongue out.
The worst thing you can do is dwelll on this, and focus him more on his urination. Set up a schedule like I suggested and then step back and let it work. Or ignore it completely, as in nat even asking about it. Thats what we did with my DD's tongue thing and she's now 14 and only sticks her tongue out when she's trying to piss me off. |
Anonymous
| The list of PANDAS symptoms is every 4 year old I know. |
Anonymous
| Thank you all so much - and I really do mean that. 16:41 and 18:43, you are very kind. 18:43, I know what you are saying. I can't put into words how awful I feel. I am trying so hard to keep the worrying at bay. I think if you knew about the past 18 months, it would put things in perspective. My Mom was diagnosed with a terrible cancer that metastasized when I was newly pregnant with #2. Then I got sick and was in the hospital for almost a week and couldn't go see my mom much. When I was somewhat better, I went to see my mom and she was mentally gone. She died a year ago. More health problems for myself, stuff with DH, work FT, have two kids, miss my Mom terribly, I work in the health field and have an advanced degree in public health so I know way more than I wish I knew, and now I find myself in catastrophe mode (worst case scenario). NO therapist will be able to help. I can't dope myself up so much that I don't feel anything. The stress relief techniques someone I was seeing are good, but they don't take the worries away. The past 18 months have affected me so much! |
Anonymous
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16:41 - I meant to say that DS's accident was in the privacy of our own home, but he is likely embarrassed about it...
Happy New Year to you PPs, and thank you for being supportive and not judging. I sometimes go to DCUM for anonymous therapy/advice/venting! |
Anonymous
| He could have a food allergy which irritates the lining of the bladder and makes him feel like he has to pee all the time even when he doesn't. I am surprised your pediatrician didn't suggest that. |
Anonymous
What do you mean "no therapist will help you?" Do you see how irrational this kind of thinking is? Its the sort of thing I hear from people who for some reason refuse to get help, who are rationalizing their refusal. Of course a therapist can help you. You know this, you just aren't picking up the phone. You need to do this for your children, your anxiety is much more of a problem to them than the fact that your son pees all the time. Cognitive behavioral therapy can be very effective for anxiety. |
Anonymous
| I meant to say that no therapist that takes my insurance has been able to help much. I have tried CBT but was pregnant and that seemed to affect my success... Will keep trying. My 8 month old was up almost all night screaming in pain and now my anxiety is extra extra worse. One of the things my therapist said is that people with anxiety (like myself) need 8 hours of uninterrupted sleep, healthy eating habits, and healthy exercise habits. The sleep part isn't happening too often, which is probably why my posts seem so frantic... Now I need to figure out what is going on with DD (ear infection?), miss more work, and get even farther behind. See the cycle. And grandma isn't around to help, which is a reminder that she is gone. Just having a tough time all around, but this is part of life/parenting! |
Anonymous
Your feelings are totally normal OP, and I'm so sorry for the loss of your mom. Your way of trying to cope with your feelings is totally maladaptive though. You are conflating and catastrophizing about a whole lot of things and your anxiety sounds out of control. You need better, and expert help with the OCD. A therapist should know better than to say something like that about uninterrupted sleep to the mom of small kids, now you have another unrealistic thing to obsess about. Yikes. OP, I recommended it before, but you really should try the Ross Center. I think that they will be able to help you. If you have to pay out of pocket for a short period of time it will be worth it if it gives you your life back and lets your kids have a less anxiety filled childhood and a better chance of being happy adults. The way things are going now sounds very stressful for all of you. I also think that you need to specifically address your fear that your kids will develop OCD. It may or may not happen. I will say that the way things are going in your family it seems like your are increasing the chances by not being able to model coping with stress. There is a lot of ground between numb and a basket case. You sound so upset and distracted that I worry about you driving to be honest. http://www.rosscenter.com/anxiety_disorders/obsessive_compulsive_disorder/. You may also want to look into grief counseling. The Wendt Center is excellent. http://www.wendtcenter.org/services2/wendt-center-services.html Where is your DH in all of this? How does he react to stress? How does he support you and help balance you out to the kids? Hugs OP. |