how do you explain those homeless on the streets to your kids

[Anonymous]

we live in rockville. and a lot of homeless along 355. some times I give some, some time no. I have a preschool age girl who always asks me to give.
how do you explain those to your young kids?

[Anonymous]

I tell my 5 yr old that it's really sad, but some people don't have homes or families who can help them. I tell her that they live on the street and get food from churches and sometimes they even go hungry. I tell her that some of them are mentally ill (have a problem with their brain which they cannot control), that some of them are addicted to drugs (bad chemicals that they cannot stop using), and some of them didn't have the same opportunities in life that DD has (for example, some of them didn't have parents who could take care of them, some of them never had a chance to go to good schools, or some of them didn't have a loving home etc.) So far, my DD has not asked me to give money directly to the homeless people she sees. If she did, I would probably say that we can give money to a group that helps them (like a church or Salvation Army or some charity) but not direclty to the homeless person b/c we don't know what he/she will use it for and b/c it is best to leave the person alone. And I would tell her that when she is an adult, she can decide if she wants to give some of her money to the homeless people she sees.

[Anonymous]

me too. basically the same.

[Anonymous]

Not only have I explained much of what the previous poster said, but I also usually give each my kids a dollar bill to personally give to the person asking for help. Everyone feels so good when we do this. It makes my kids really happy, and sometimes the person asking for help looks so touched they might cry. Lotta good vibes for two bucks.

[Anonymous]

I require that my kids budget a portion of their allowances for charity, which is sort of a vague concept. So, in addition to what others have said, I talk about how these are the people that their charity money goes to help.

The one thing that is difficult though is that they get to wondering why we don't give to everyone. In answer to this, I tell them about how there are several homeless people that I see everyday and that every few days I buy them lunch or give them some money. We can't help everyone so we have to make choices. My choice is to help these certain people and maybe theirs will be different. But we all have to do something to make a difference.

[Anonymous]

I think it's also a good opportunity to teach our children about empathy (not sympathy) and the exercise of putting ourselves in another's person's shoes and having compassion for them. And to teach them that no matter what the circumstances of a person's homelessness (drugs, mental illness, unemployment, etc) that they are our equals and deserve our respect and kindness. And if your family attends church or synagogue, or another forum of religious expression, try to find ways that the kids can help contribute towards homeless causes in a productive way (like volunteering or giving money to shelters). Good luck!

[Anonymous]

This is such a valuable discussion. Thanks to all who have contributed. I explain to DD how much we give to different charities each week, and how that money buys food for lots of people. I sometimes give to people who ask, but I feel better about giving to a food pantry or soup kitchen.

[Anonymous]

I dread the day when my dd notices and asks. I honestly don't know how I explain homelessness to myself. It is tragic that we live with it as a given now. It didn't used to be that way in this country, and it's heartbreaking.

[Anonymous]

To the contrary, it has sadly always been this way to one degree or another. Not that we should accept it, but study the history of poverty and poor relief and you'll see we have the same arguments now that the colonists had 250 years ago. I don't mean to sound discouraging, because I certainly don't agree with those who believe poverty is inevitable and thus not something we, as a society, should try to ameliorate.

I agree with PPs on what to tell our children. This discussion has inspired me to start giving my 3 year an allowance and practice charitable giving.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:To the contrary, it has sadly always been this way to one degree or another. Not that we should accept it, but study the history of poverty and poor relief and you'll see we have the same arguments now that the colonists had 250 years ago.

Poverty is not the same as the epidemic of homelessness that we now accept as a given.

I am not sure how old you are, but what we currently experience as homelessness began in direct relationship to two events in the 1970's: the de-institutionalization of the mentally ill (WITHOUT the accompanying network of community supports that had been originally proposed when de-institutionalization was conceptualize - thank you Republicans!) and the beginnings of the outsourcing of labor (the shutting down of automobile plants in the North that led to the "Rust birds" of homeless families who lived in their - rusted - cars and traveled South seeking jobs). Prior to these events, we simply did not experience the quantity and chronicity of homelessness in America (of course there was poverty and there were individual situations of homelessness, but it was not an enormous phenomenon and was shocking when it was encountered).

[Anonymous]

RE kids books that discuss homelessness: Ralph Da Costa Nunez authored the book I referenced in the thread on panhandlers. He's written a series of children's books that discuss homelessness through fairy-tale like stories ("Our Wish," "Saily's Journey," "Cooper's Tale," etc.).