Forum Index
»
Off-Topic
Life as an Expat?
![[Post New]](/jforum/templates/default/images/icon_minipost_new.gif){kind=icon}
Anonymous
| My spouse has a strong potential job opportunity abroad (eastern Europe). I would not be able to continue my current job field there, so would be unemployed while we lived there. We have a DC in kindergarten. We do not speak the native language. Can anyone share firsthand experience in making such a move - pro's, con's, did you feel isolated, what are international schools like, anything else. Thank you. |
Anonymous
|
You should post the country, you'll get more specific comments and advice.
I've been an expat in a number of countries. Most have international schools, many have American schools. There is always an expat community, but personally I dont' see the point of moving to another country only to surround myself with other American. YMMV, however. Many folks do insulate themselve into the US community. Not having a job will be difficult if you are somone who defines themselves a lot by their career (as I am). If it is for a finite period, then I think it's easier to try to enjoy the life--frequently your lifestyle will be much better/higher than what you have here, due to the gov/companies pay for expats. Depends on why you're going to another country, though. (i.e. to teach English, not really) |
Anonymous
| OP here - thanks for your reply! I know you are right that I should post the country if I want better/more specific information, but I'm a little paranoid about jinxing the job opp so am going to hold off on that for now, hope you understand (it can be a small, small world figuratively speaking). I guess for now I just wanted to hear a few stories about people moving away from home, family, familiar surroundings, school, etc. with young children. We are very excited but admittedly a bit terrified, too. Thanks again. |
Anonymous
|
I think the expat community abroad is invaluable for helping to ease you into the culture, especially if there are language barriers. I like to know where I can find a store that sells European style yogurt, for example, that locals may not know depending on the country and town. They can also help with reviews of the quality of international schools, etc.
You can google expat websites for your particular country of interest. Join or read them to get a feeling for what's going on there. Of course, it's nothing like living there, but often there are some veteran expats who can be very helpful. |
Anonymous
|
I am an expat, living in the US. When I came I had a basic fluency in English - could communicate well, find my way to places, drive, etc. But I couldn't keep a meaningful conversation or thoroughly express my thoughts on different subjects, such as politics, beauty, fashion, and so forth. I made a point of not surrounding myself with people from my country so I could learn English well, and assimilate the culture. Now that I am more comfortable, I do have a few friends from my home country and sometimes I buy some food in a ethnic market. My husband is American.
I did miss a few relatives VERY much and I also missed my career or the dream of a career - I had just graduate from college when I came to the US. I did feel depressed during the first 6 months to 1 year here, but after I married and formed my own family things got better. For you probably it will be easier since you will have your husband for support in the difficult times. Now, although I miss my country from time to time I am happy here. I know some friends that are not and are always complaining, comparing and criticizing Americans and its way of life. It kind of irritates me to tell the truth - not that I think things here are perfect and always better than in our country, but all this negativity gets to me. |
Anonymous
|
I'm an expat in Japan. My husband's assignment is overseas so I gave up my job to stay at home with our daughter. You'll find that the expat community will be very helpful with giving tips, etc. People are overall very friendly. My parents were overseas for years and on of their posts was in Eastern Europe (Hungary). It was awesome. The best part about being in Eastern Europe is your close proximately to so many different countries to visit. You should visit this website to look up "Real Post Reports" for your country that is written by US expats stationed in that country. Good luck.
http://www.talesmag.com/ |
Anonymous
| PP here. Also in Eastern Europe (anywhere in Europe really) there will be enough people speaking English that you shouldn't have too hard of a time. I would suggest getting a tutor/ Rosetta stone, just to help with some key phrases and words. |
Anonymous
Agree here. We were in Eastern Europe and nearly everyone spoke English. Will you be in an Embassy community? If so, the Embassy might offer language lessons for family members. |
Anonymous
The international schools were good, and class sizes were generally smaller. For continuity purposes, it might be easier for your son to attend the school that is based on the American curriculum, if only so that when you return to the U.S. he's on par with his class. If you will be in an Embassy community, you might want to check out the official Post Report, as well as the "talesmag" website for online post reports. I always worked, so I can't speak to the isolation, but there will be plenty of others like you. Most people I know did the usual volunteering at the school, etc. Sometimes, jobs are available at the Embassy. In every post I've been, there were a number of women's organizations. I always found it fun to explore the city on my own, figure out the grocery shopping, etc. Listen to other ex-pat recommendations, but also don't be afraid to find what YOU like (I found that when it came to shopping, most Americans preferred savings over quality and would recommend stores where they got the best deals; I tended to gravitate toward the stores that offered better quality). |
Anonymous
|
Living in Brussels with 4yo and 2yo. Not a true expat because DH is Belgian. Worked as expat before marriage in Asia. Find it much more draining with kids although I have some French and Dutch. Meeting other English speakers is easy but sometimes I just get tired of having to learn new ways of doing everything. If you have never lived abroad it may be more exciting for you.
With kids I am paradoxically far more isolated because I do not have the energy or flexibility to go out and enjoy social life in the city as I did before marriage. In Asia I joined hiking and book clubs, went to movies and happy hours after work, and visited museums and traveled to other cities on weekends. Now DH works very long hours and I have emerged from our apartment after dark only a handful of times. I don't necessarily blame the isolation on living abroad or on parenthood; this is just how things have worked out. |
Anonymous
| There are some key indicators that can predict whether people will enjoy expat assignments: do you enjoy a wide range of cuisines, or stick to standard american foods? Do you speak any foreign languages? Do you enjoy a wide range of films and tv, or a narrow diet? |
Anonymous
I think it depends on where you live and for whom you work. If you work the the Embassy, you can buy anything you need online and have it shipped to you, so you are never without your American favorites. You can get AFN satellite and never be without your shows. If the Embassy community is large or close, then you can go your entire tour without hanging with the locals. Worth it? Probably not, but people do it! |
Anonymous
This is true, but the point is that people who try to replicate their life here abroad generally don't enjoy it as much, as they essentially have a more restrictive version of their current existence (fewer acceptable shops, friends, some difficulties in replicating lifestyle etc.) There is a considerable body of research into this subject, as it can be very expensive for companies to arrange unsuccessful assignments. |
Anonymous
| Be an expat? If you are adventurous, love languages, cultures, travel and want to expose your children to the world, go for it! Becoming an expat isn't a bed of roses but all the life experiences you will have will make it all worthwhile! |
Anonymous
|
OP here - each post has been extremely useful to me - thanks very much for taking the time to respond. Penguinsix, I really appreciated you stating some of the items we should consider asking for in one's compensation package from the company offering the job (it's not an embassy post, it's a private company) - housing and schools were mentioned in the comp package but neither DH nor I would have thought about many of the other items you named. I also appreciated the various links to expat message boards (is there a DCUM for expat parents - ha).
I'm sure I'll have more posts as/if it becomes more clear whether we'll be making this move, but one basic Q off the bat - I'm not familiar with the city to which we'd be moving, nor do I have any family/friends there (nor any even loose connection I can think of) - how does one go about finding which areas of the city are safe and fit their needs - a realtor? Here in the US I feel pretty comfortable that no matter where I were to move, I could sort that out - in combination b/c I am fairly "city-savvy" (at least east and west coast so) and have a network of family and friends who usually know someone who knows someone who has been where I'm going. If this move were just my DH and me I'd feel a lot more confident, but I feel pressure since I'm responsible for the well being and safety of my son (not to give the wrong impression, we wouldn't be moving someplace on a watch list or anything like that! it's a just a city with which I'm wholly unfamiliar). Thanks again to all. |