Mother's Day for the Expectant Mom?

[Anonymous]

My wife is pregnant with our first. I’m torn about what to do this Sunday.

The superstitious side of me would rather not do anything until everything is safe and sound. But I love my wife and wouldn’t want her to feel snubbed.

So what should I do?

[Anonymous]

When I was pregnant with our first, my husband bought me a fabulous maternity dress. We did have a formal wedding to go to, so it was needed, but definitely nicer than what I would have treated myself to.

If she's feeling a bit blah - how about a pedicure and spa treatment? Or anything else a bit splurge-y that you plan to buy before the baby anyways - a really nice diaper bag (though they are so unnecessary).

For his father-to-be day, I bought DH a book "Mr. Seahorse" which is an Eric Carle all about fish dads taking care of their babies. There are tons of baby books about babies and moms, if you want to go that route.

Congrats to you both!

[Anonymous]

I think you should get her a gift. I'm due in July and suggested to my husband that we exchange Mother's and Father's day presents this year, and he shrugged and said "what for?" And that just made me feel bad. I think she'd feel really great if you just acknowledged she's going to be mom soon with any kind of gift. It doesn't have to be anything huge. If you don't want to splurge, just get something small or even just some flowers. If you feel like splurging, you could get her one of those modern cool-looking diaper bags that are sexy and don't say "diaper bag." (Not from babies r us). I don't know the higher end stores that would carry something like that, but maybe someone else who reads the forums does.

If it were me, I'd appreciate just about anything!

[Anonymous]

When I was due with my first, my husband just took me out on a Sunday afternoon date. We didn't hit any of the usual Mother's Day venues (brunch, etc) but just walked around Old Town, got a burger, drove down to the park by National Airport and hung out there. It's still one of my fondest memories for Mother's Day. These days, it's hectic and rushed with my family, his family and our kids, so it was just nice to have the time to spend with DH and our little guy in utero.

[Anonymous]

you need to know your wife... i was VERY superstitious (ok, two miscarriages will do that to you!) and literally didn't want to even buy anything for the baby to be for the longest time.... i cringed at the thought of having a shower when i was 8 mos along. so, know your wife -- has she been buying and planning already or has she just been taking care of herself and being cautiously optimistic?

[Anonymous]

OP said: " The superstitious side of me would rather not do anything until everything is safe and sound."

Everything IS safe and sound right now, right? And she considers herself a mother already, probably--an expectant mother! You don't necessarily have to do anything cheesy, but marking the day in some way seems right. I like the idea of a special meal or outing together--enjoy the pre-baby peacefulness.

[Anonymous]

I think it depends on your wife and how far along she is. Some people are extremely superstitious -- my parents didn't buy a single piece of baby furniture until after my oldest sister was born. I think the date idea is nice. Perhaps you can find a card that says something about how she will be a great mother or write a note of your own.

[Anonymous]

I was due in June last year and really superstitious (didn't throw out crib bedding packages, etc), so I just wanted Mother's Day to be like any other day. If you're not sure, maybe check with her before planning or buying something? If you do choose to do anything, I think the pedicure idea is a great one...

[Anonymous]

I had our DD three days after Mother's Day last year. I got jipped because I was still preggers and not "officially" a mom.

A small bouquet and a lovely card that says how much you are looking forward to the baby and how beautiful of a mother your wife will be will be great for her self esteem and refreshing for her soul.

[Anonymous]

I really like the spa treatment, mani/pedi ideas because they feel great, may be something she doesn't normally buy for herself and they don't violate the superstition problem. I am a big fan of Red Door's olive oil pedicure if you can afford the splurge (maybe $60, but it is the best pedicure in town IMO). You could also just get flowers and do some things that she would normally do so that she can take a break. I don't know what that would be for her, but for me it would include gardening or fixing little things around the house that are on the fix-it-before-birth list. Basically stuff I really don't feel up to since I have been pregnant.

[Anonymous]

OP here. Just wanted to say thanks for the helpful suggestions. I went with flowers, a "thinking of you" card and a day spent together.

It got me a very big smile and even bigger hug.

I'm glad I did something to acknowledge the day, but still stayed within my own crazy superstitious comfort zone.

Thanks!