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Would you cash the check or split it?
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Anonymous
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Hi,
My husband and I are separated (since August) and it's pretty contentious. In Feb 2010, my husband's car was totalled. We're on the same insurance co policy. They sent him a check minus the deductible. They were waiting for something (I don't know what). Two days ago, I received a check in both our names for the deductible. It was mailed to me at my new address. I know if my husband received the check he would deposit it and not share any of it with me. I know he's expecting it, so if I don't disclose or share or give it to him, he'll wonder where it is. Do I cash it? Do I cash it and give him half? Should I give him the whole check? I really dislike him right now, but I know if he called them to ask where the check was, and they said I cashed it...it would cause an uproar? It was our joint car and joint policy. WWYD?? HELP!! |
Anonymous
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Was the car a joint purchase, as in you both contributed to the payments and upkeep? If so, I would deposit and split it evenly.
Since it is a "marital asset", I don't think keeping it is a good idea. It will just be taken into consideration when you get around to separating property in the divorce. |
Anonymous
| If he's expecting it, it's not worth the battle. Don't be an instigator and don't stoop to his level, no matter how tempting. Be the bigger person, but more importantly, save yourself the headache. A brief moment of satisfaction is not worth the trouble that will certainly follow. |
Anonymous
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Do the right thing OP. Karma is a bitch, and she will come visit you, trust me!!
Forget about what HE would do. You do what YOU would do, be a good person. give him half. set an example of good behavior for him. |
Anonymous
It's not about him. It's about you - and what is the right and ethical thing to do. If the car was jointly owned and maintained, then he is entitled to a portion of the insurance proceeds. Don't let your anger make you stoop to a level that is not you. You do enough unethical dishonest things in your life, then you become unethical and dishonest - putting it off to anger or retribution does not make it right. |
Anonymous
Without even getting into other ethical issues, if the check is in both of your names, both of you (not just one) would have to endorse it to cash/deposit it legally. Does it say [spouse1] AND [spouse2]? If the "and" is there, you both need to endorse. If it's "or" instead of and, one of you could endorse it. Do yourself a favor and don't forge his signature, by the way, if that even crosses your mind. |
Anonymous
| I'm not clear on why you would even consider not splitting it with him? |
Anonymous
| Well, if the check is payable to BOTH of you, it will not clear the bank until BOTH of your signatures are on it. |
Anonymous
This is not true. Many banks will cash with just one signature. |
Anonymous
| Why are you asking us, and not your divorce lawyer? |
Anonymous
It's true that in error (because they don't notice), some banks may let this through. Legally they are not supposed to--and if the check is payable to both parties, it doesn't belong only to one party. Since the OP is in a dispute with her ex, this can really get her into trouble even if the bank were to let it slip through. Just not a good idea. |
Anonymous
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Did DH actually pay a deductible out of pocket? If so, he's the one that gets the check - all of it.
If for some odd reason they are sending you a check for the deductible but no one paid it out since the car was scrap metal, then you should absolutely split it. It's not right to keep it all and it's probably not legal (but ask your lawyer). |
Anonymous
| This needs to go into the pot of things that you are working out. I hope you both have lawyers. I can't tell from your original message whether this is the case. Don't cash it and make this something he can get you into trouble over, it's not worth it. |
Anonymous
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OP,
You said it was his car and also that it was joint. Which was it? The answer depends on what you do. Also not clear, did he split the first check. |
Anonymous
| OP, just split the check and be true to the good person you are. Don't let your jerky husband drag you down. |