Grow up girls and their brothers

[Anonymous]

If you're a big sister, would you share with me your experience? I want to know if I'm the only one missing my little brother

Here's my story:

I'm 14 mo older than my brother. We grew up joined at the hip until HS when I went public and he went private (personal choice). After that our relationship just fell apart. The healthy competition became comparison, our differences that used to bring us closer just took us apart. We went to the same college and were part of rival groups. He helped friends to vandalize my classes' projects, his group bullied some kids in my group (handicapped kids ). It got uglier by the day.

Today, we're living in diff countries, I'm married with a baby and he's just married (to a girl 10 yrs younger than him who's desperate to populate the world while he has no plans to have children ever).

I'm returning home for vacation (and to show the new baby) after almost 5 yrs away from home. When I AIMed him with the news he responded: what are you bringing as a wedding gift? DW needs this and that, I need this and that.

Where did our friendship go?

Any ideas to try to restore our relationship?

[Anonymous]

Maybe sit down with him and talk about it when you see him? Though, with that history, there might not be much to safe...

I haven't talked to my younger brother in over a year (didn't see him or my dad when I went home-we also live in different countries) and I don't think I will talk to him again soon. He was mean (really mean) to my mom.
I'm very close to my older brother. We're two years apart (my younger brother is 6 years younger than me).

Not sure I was any help. I would just talk to him...if you see ways to change the relationship for the better.

[Anonymous]

This is the OP. Thanks for sharing your story, PP.

I'll def see him when I visit my parents and hopefully I'll have a chance to call him to the side and have a talk.




ps. the title of the thread should say GROWN UP girls...

[Anonymous]

I never really got along with my younger brother growing up. I always wanted to hang out with him (I was a tom boy) but he always shunned me. We've got such completely different values now as adults (him tea party and small business owner, me socialist democrat and government worker) that almost any conversation we have is extraordinarily strained. He is also, IMO, borderline abusive with his own child even though I know in his heart he has great love for his child and great intentions.

So no, I've never missed my little brother because I never had him. I ran after him for years wanting his love and approval and just having a real brother.

The only thing I can say about this is that each child is born into a completely different family, and somehow that can have a significant influence on how each child grows up. You hope for their being close, but there's never any guarantee.