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Elementary School-Aged Kids
teen and husband do not get along
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Anonymous
| DH and I have our issues. He is aggressive and I am passive. DC is passive as well. They had a fight yesterday. DC has not been taking school seriously and seems to have no real interests other than socializing and playing her sport. DH did a lot of yelling and screaming and threw something DC valued outside. He was genuinely frustrated with DC's attitude. I tried to calm him down. We have never physically punished our kids and I don't worry that it will come to that. I do worry about the emotional damage that is being caused. Today, DC asked if I ever had any regrets about marrying DH. I had to tell DC we have our good moments and bad moments. DC said it looked like mostly bad moments from DC's perspective. DC is right. I love my DC's and don't know what I would do without DH. I am a SAHM. What would you do? |
Anonymous
| Is DH the biological father of DC? |
Anonymous
| Is DC manipulative? |
Anonymous
| Yes and DH loves DC very much. DC is just not like DH, doesn't have same (or any of DH's interests). DH feels soooo disappointed by it all. DH is very intelligent, curious, opinionated and....drawing a blank here on word for knows it all or knows better than anyone else. |
Anonymous
In what way? DC is manipulative in the normal sense of the word. |
Anonymous
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If we only thought twice before getting married for the first time... (or having a baby before marriage).
Oh well, the damage is done so there's no way back... I just hope there's no abuse going on... |
Anonymous
Hhmm not sure what you mean. This is my first and only DH. And my first DC born 5 years into wedlock. Unfortunately, the unpleasant personality traits have become enhanced after years of marriage. DH has lots of great qualities but we tend to see less of them as we grow older. There is no physical abuse but there is verbal abuse. Although DH would defend what he says and how he says it to the bitter end. |
Anonymous
| Family counseling perhaps? |
Anonymous
Sorry about the judgment. By the kind of questions DC asked I thought you married DH later on. My theory is that you've been fighting in front of your child just too much causing DC to lose respect for DH and feel pity about you. |
Anonymous
My DH is the assertive one (I hesitate to say aggressive) and I too am the passive one. DD is very much like her dad, and they butt heads frequently, and I get the same question: "do you regret marrying daddy?" from time to time. Oddly enough, she is much more open and closer to him than me. I think she respects him more, since I back down way more than 50% of the time. Even my DS, who is passive, doesn't like this imbalance and will ask the same question. DH and I don't argue in front of the kids, but will discuss disagreements in front. I think he was a lawyer in a past life  .
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Anonymous
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I'll offer another perspective here - I think teens go through phases where they might focus dislike on one parent, whether its earned or not - sounds like DH took it too far by throwing an item, but mistakes happen.
DC may just be in a cycle where DC does not "like" DH. I say this as a parent earning my own stripes right now - DD just told DH the other night she doesn't "like" me and hasn't for a year.... She is 13. The year I is an exaggeration based on my opinion, but I'll concede it seems like she hasn't "liked" me for a few days....I think this is just part of the teen age. Can DH reconsider his parenting approach? One of them really needs to be the adult, and its gotta be DH. |
Anonymous
| Anyone see Modern Family last night? Mom was offended that Luke "liked" dad better... |
Anonymous
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OP,
Watch these with your husband. http://www.drjohnduffy.com/available1.html You should both take PEP classes. That is a real shame, throwing things outside like that. That is the behavior of an adolescent. 13 is a rough year. My son is 14. It's actually better. |