Positive OPK, but feeling stressed

[Anonymous]

I think this has come up before, so I'm sorry for overlap/repetition. It's now more than one cycle that I have positive testing using an OPK, but, psychologically and physically I'm stressed. Recent work trip has ruined my rest/eating schedule, and on top of it, my husband has his own work stress/obligations. I still decided to do the testing, to continue tracking myself (for when it will come in handy). I guess I feel self-defeated, yet again. I'm glad that the testing is showing a pattern (of course another question if it will mean a positive outcome longer term), but I feel very low that this special cycle time is likely going to go to waste. I've got absolutely low (probably absent) "in the mood" feelings on my end, anyway. It's happened on recent previous cycles, too. So, I can't help to feel discouraged that DH and I can't just get things to work at the right time, when it's such a precious small span of time. I know I must not be the only one, but it feels really isolating.

[Anonymous]

OP again ... I guess I should be more constructive, instead of just giving my "rant" ... If any others out there can relate and/or have suggestions for what may have worked for them, thanks in advance for sharing.

[Anonymous]

Totally can relate. But I would suggest not to wait until you see a positive OPK. I would start having sex every other day right after your period ends since the sperm can survive up to 5 days. Many people conceived this way without even using OPKs.

[Anonymous]

Hi PP, just saw your response ... Thanks for writing, and for the suggestion.

[Anonymous]

Of course, not to mention that stress/tension doesn't easily put one in the mood at anytime of the month.

[Anonymous]

You're not alone at all. Our solution was to take a month off - no tracking of any kind, but "getting together" whenever the mood struck, which frankly wasn't all that often. This month, we limited tracking to the opk and tried not to worry the rest of the cycle. Break has been nice, and unexpectedly resulted in me being much less worried about everything and DH much more interested in timing/initiating things. We were in a really bad cycle - the every-other-day pressure was a lot of pressure, and focusing on the opk was high-pressure too. In short, if possible, I recommend a break. Good luck!

[Anonymous]

OP here... Thanks PP, I appreciate your reply, too. I agree that taking some pressure off probably would be great. It's just such a frustration, though, that the timing can be so bad. Based on my OPK tracking, I should have ovulated within the last 2 days, and of course both DH and I were tired/had work. I'm looking ahead to my work calendar, and wouldn't you know, around time of my next O day it seems I'm going to be swamped again. In any case, lowering the stress, taking it more easy, however possible, I can imagine would only be helpful.

[Anonymous]

Well, for sure I missed this last cycle. So now I await the next period. I'm already anxious knowing the next window will happen right when I'm very busy with work, again. Oh, and plus it's year end (December) ... Yes, I need to learn to relax (understatement).

[Anonymous]

Oh gosh, it stinks when you're so not in the mood and it's that once a month window. DH and I tried doing the every other day thing, but frankly that was waaaay more intimacy than either of us had the energy for. We joked that towards the end of that marathon, when DH "released" there were only puffs of air coming out - completely depleted!

So we focused on the OPK and just made the agreement that it was NOT an option not to do it at that time. We subscribed to the Playboy channel for the first time, I bought lingerie and some new toys, and we got to work. Good luck.

[Anonymous]

Hi PP, thanks ... It's great you and your DH have come to that kind of arrangement. It's just horrible how everything feels like it has become out of my control. I know in reality it is up to me to take charge, and try to not focus solely on possible challenges (like the upcoming work obligations) ... Well, isn't that part of the whole trouble. Of course doesn't help that I'm aware of my age (later 30s), and there are questions coming about DH and my plans, and others are actively trying (some already with success).

[Anonymous]

I've been through TTC 3 times now (1 DS, 1 chemical, and am 21-wks pg now) and I will tell you that the whole experience is stressful each and every time (and that doesn't even include the actual parenting part!). If you are currently so stressed about OPKs and the small window, I think you might need to find some way to reduce your stess b/c it will be a long ride for you once you are successful (and I hope you will be!) and go through 40-wks of uncertainty. Maybe a new job, new hobby, new schedule, or new fun things to do with DH. Maybe working out, yoga/pilates, better nutrition, a spa weekend, of even a therapist. I really wish you the best and think that if you can find a way to cope with stress now you'll be doing yourself a major favor for the next part of this journey you are on.

[Anonymous]

Well stated PP, the stress doesn't decrease once you get that BFP it's really only the beginning of bigger stress.

[Anonymous]

Hi recent posters, thanks for writing, too. I completely agree with you both, that stress is something that's critical to be able to manage. I think if I can relax more, worry less, those can only help me out ... (OP)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well stated PP, the stress doesn't decrease once you get that BFP it's really only the beginning of bigger stress.

So true!! There is always another hurdle! First the BFP then beta after beta after bata...then an ultrasound to see if there is a pole and sac then a couple of wks later for a heartbeat and so it goes for 9 months!