I'm living abroad in the UK and I hate it.

[Anonymous]

A friend of mine spent time living in London while her SO went to culinary school. They ended up transferring to Paris. They were completely miserable in London, but adored Paris. They are both very friendly, social, adventurous, well-traveled and generally well-liked people. Although they spent an equal amount of time in each city, they formed lasting friendships with Parisians and when they married a few years later, Parisians came to their wedding. 20+ years later, they still host and visit one particular Parisian family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It truly amazes me how many people who have NEVER lived in a place feel qualified to weigh in and claim there are absolutely NO cultural differences and blame it all on the OP. That's a dead giveaway for someone who has really not stepped out of their comfort zone much in life. Or who is extremely socially dense and unaware

Exactly. When I first started traveling and living abroad, I was sooo open to the experience. All the differences were fascinating and beautiful. Now, I just want my American-sized large coffee at an American price. I want air conditioning (and I want Europe to stop pretending it doesn't get hot in the summer. IT HAPPENS EVERY SUMMER.) I want appliances that aren't built for a single person. I want people to shower every day. Now that I'm indisputably well traveled, I am more American than I've ever been.

I want people to stop pretending that Europe does not have air conditioners and big appliances. I live in West London and I have an American size fridge-freezer, an AC and no one has ever called me a c****. People really do shower here every day believe it or not. I have been here for eight years. Although I do hate American-sized large tasteless coffee, so you can keep that.

Most of the things you've listed are stereotypes often perpetrated by people who never lived in a country/region. Like people who never lived in Russia think Russians drink vodka for breakfast and there are bears walking down the streets.

I've lived in Russia, and they do drink vodka for breakfast. No bears though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It truly amazes me how many people who have NEVER lived in a place feel qualified to weigh in and claim there are absolutely NO cultural differences and blame it all on the OP. That's a dead giveaway for someone who has really not stepped out of their comfort zone much in life. Or who is extremely socially dense and unaware

Exactly. When I first started traveling and living abroad, I was sooo open to the experience. All the differences were fascinating and beautiful. Now, I just want my American-sized large coffee at an American price. I want air conditioning (and I want Europe to stop pretending it doesn't get hot in the summer. IT HAPPENS EVERY SUMMER.) I want appliances that aren't built for a single person. I want people to shower every day. Now that I'm indisputably well traveled, I am more American than I've ever been.

I want people to stop pretending that Europe does not have air conditioners and big appliances. I live in West London and I have an American size fridge-freezer, an AC and no one has ever called me a c****. People really do shower here every day believe it or not. I have been here for eight years. Although I do hate American-sized large tasteless coffee, so you can keep that.

Most of the things you've listed are stereotypes often perpetrated by people who never lived in a country/region. Like people who never lived in Russia think Russians drink vodka for breakfast and there are bears walking down the streets.

I've lived in Russia, and they do drink vodka for breakfast. No bears though.

+1 I live in Mother Russia land now, and I see drunk guys swigging vodka in the streets every morning on my way to work. Now, if you want to avoid sweeping generalizations, you would need to clarify that MANY (not all) Russians drink way too much vodka, and MANY (not all) Russians day drink.

I haven't ever seen a bear here, but I've seen wild boards.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It truly amazes me how many people who have NEVER lived in a place feel qualified to weigh in and claim there are absolutely NO cultural differences and blame it all on the OP. That's a dead giveaway for someone who has really not stepped out of their comfort zone much in life. Or who is extremely socially dense and unaware

Exactly. When I first started traveling and living abroad, I was sooo open to the experience. All the differences were fascinating and beautiful. Now, I just want my American-sized large coffee at an American price. I want air conditioning (and I want Europe to stop pretending it doesn't get hot in the summer. IT HAPPENS EVERY SUMMER.) I want appliances that aren't built for a single person. I want people to shower every day. Now that I'm indisputably well traveled, I am more American than I've ever been.

I want people to stop pretending that Europe does not have air conditioners and big appliances. I live in West London and I have an American size fridge-freezer, an AC and no one has ever called me a c****. People really do shower here every day believe it or not. I have been here for eight years. Although I do hate American-sized large tasteless coffee, so you can keep that.

Most of the things you've listed are stereotypes often perpetrated by people who never lived in a country/region. Like people who never lived in Russia think Russians drink vodka for breakfast and there are bears walking down the streets.

I've lived in Russia, and they do drink vodka for breakfast. No bears though.

+1 I live in Mother Russia land now, and I see drunk guys swigging vodka in the streets every morning on my way to work. Now, if you want to avoid sweeping generalizations, you would need to clarify that MANY (not all) Russians drink way too much vodka, and MANY (not all) Russians day drink.

I haven't ever seen a bear here, but I've seen wild boards.

boars, not boards.

Oh, and I've also lived in the UK. Posters talking about rude Brits are right IN GENERAL, but only in the Home Counties. People up North are warm and lovely.

I never saw a British person drinking vodka before/for breakfast, though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It truly amazes me how many people who have NEVER lived in a place feel qualified to weigh in and claim there are absolutely NO cultural differences and blame it all on the OP. That's a dead giveaway for someone who has really not stepped out of their comfort zone much in life. Or who is extremely socially dense and unaware

Exactly. When I first started traveling and living abroad, I was sooo open to the experience. All the differences were fascinating and beautiful. Now, I just want my American-sized large coffee at an American price. I want air conditioning (and I want Europe to stop pretending it doesn't get hot in the summer. IT HAPPENS EVERY SUMMER.) I want appliances that aren't built for a single person. I want people to shower every day. Now that I'm indisputably well traveled, I am more American than I've ever been.

I want people to stop pretending that Europe does not have air conditioners and big appliances. I live in West London and I have an American size fridge-freezer, an AC and no one has ever called me a c****. People really do shower here every day believe it or not. I have been here for eight years. Although I do hate American-sized large tasteless coffee, so you can keep that.

Most of the things you've listed are stereotypes often perpetrated by people who never lived in a country/region. Like people who never lived in Russia think Russians drink vodka for breakfast and there are bears walking down the streets.

Your A/C is not the norm. The British Museum doesn't even have a/c! My (tiny) N1 row house doesn't nor does the kids' school. The tube definitely doesn't. West London has more Americans though, so that would explain the your finding more American style digs. Do you also have a stand alone dryer? That was one thing that we never saw when we were searching. They were all the w/d combo units in the kitchen. (Which we assumed was what the place we selected had..turns out it was just a washer...that's been a habit shift!)


West London American here, my experience similar to yours PP - district line goes have AC. But none if the other places - we also were surprised by the wash only machine- but got the landlord to spring for a combi.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am sorry op. Do you have plans to return to the USA at anytime? I know what you mean, kind of. I've gone on trips out of the USA and while I enjoy seeing new places, I got very homesick because of the same things you posted.

I will return at some point, but the thing that sucks for me is that I used to love it here so much (when visiting). But now that I'm living here, I'm seeing so many bad aspects of this place. People are RUDE! And there is so much hate being thrown at Americans. I get these snidey comments about being American all the time and I'm so tired of it. I'm polite and respectful to these people. I'm shy and soft-spoken (but very personable). I feel like all anyone is ever interested in is my money. Every interaction is based around money. There were so many things I used to like about it here, but now I feel depressed most of the time. And little tasks are more complicated here.

I once gave a British host a gift and he literally said "Why the f*ck would I want this?"

[Anonymous]

Sorry for typos, I'm the last poster on previous.

OP, read the book Watching the English by Kate Fox. It will give you an inside look.

I have met many people through my children's school. Many are other foreigners, south African, russian, Austrailian... the first British mums to reach out to me were married to foreigners. I echo what many have said here, most Brits take a while to open up.

Aside from school, I've met many people at church, my experience is that Brits who attend church are more open- they are already outside the norm by being regulars at church.

[Anonymous]

^^^ ok, I'm not on the previous post - the west London American from 2 posts up

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, let me give you a different perspective which is in line with much of what you say.

I am British and moved to the US several decades ago after being given an offer that I could not refuse! I was supposed to stay for just a couple of years but my employer said they would help me get a green card, retained an immigration lawyer on my behalf and after a couple of years I was given a green card and subsequently became a citizen.

The different perspective I referred to above: the culture shock I went through was just how service oriented businesses are in the US, how polite people are especially at department stores and restaurants and just about any type of business. I found Americans I worked with to be friendly and had no hesitation in inviting me to a bbq at their house, etc. It really was quite amazing how welcoming they were. One thing that may have helped me is that Americans generally are Anglophiles and my very English accent went down well - though today my accent is probably a mix of American and English. When I visit England I am told I have an American accent and over here they tell me that I have a British accent. But a British accent really has helped me both at work and socially though - unlike many of my compatriots - I never go on about how great life was in the UK, because quite frankly, I enjoy a far higher standard of living here than I did there. This higher standard of living applies to so many facets of life some of them you have named: a/c, central heating, the cost of living, etc.

My final comment pertains to health care. I am entirely familiar with the NHS and I will tell you that for someone who does not have any insurance or has inadequate insurance, there is nothing better than the NHS but for those who do have good insurance in the US, the overall standard of medical care especially if you are hospitalized is way better here.It is still the norm in much of the UK under NHS to end up in a ward if you are hospitalized - as opposed to a private or semi-private room here! I can give you specific instances of relatives who went through endless waits for relatively routine procedures eg knee replacements and pretty much any elective surgery. But the point that will best illustrate the NHS scene is that the most sought after employee benefit in the UK is private insurance - which would hardly be the case if the NHS was all that it was made out to be by some over there and here. This is not to say that health care here does not need reform because it does.

So, I am one grateful person and my decision to emigrate and settle down in the US is one of the best decisions that I ever made. BTW, when I was looking at moving here permanently relatives and friends were horrified and the disparaging comments about the US and Americans were relentless. To this day when I tell people there about how life in the US is good, there is an attitude of disbelief but then the British generally react disparagingly about other nationalities as well with the French and Germans getting the brunt of the criticism - though not nearly as much as Americans.

This is all a wonderful read and so elucidating and helpful. Thank you so much for giving your perspective, which seems much more informed than most of the posters here. It was really interesting to read.

I was wondering... do you have any idea why the British have more dislike for Americans over other nationalities? It does seem strange to me since most Americans, as you said, quite like the British.

OP, let me offer you a couple of other thoughts on why the British - and English especially - react the way they do to Americans.

A fellow Brit said that at a basic level there is an element of jealousy that the US is the predominant economic and military power in the world - though it is a position that is being increasingly challenged especially in terms of economic dominance. In many of what were the former British colonies, there was an attitude among the people in those countries that looked up to the British - that has pretty much disappeared. The country that has the most influence over these former British colonies is now the US.

Keep in mind that barely 60 years ago, the British ruled supreme over much of the world - a position that has diminished to the point of non-existence today. British education and values were looked up to but that is not the case any more - and that is not to knock the British education system which is still excellent. Most older Brits remember those heady times though the younger generation have grown up in an environment where Britain's role as a colonial power is something that is not a factor.

The class system is no longer as dominant as it used to be but there are still vestiges of it to this day. In this context, the Americans are viewed as being part of the nouveau rich - people with new found wealth but not much in the way of "breeding" as the British used to call it. The "browning" of America that is causing so much angst among some Americans today is something the British went through a few decades ago. In many ways Americans are more receptive to that change than were the British when it started to happen. You saw this in the British government's attitude to regimes abroad that proudly proclaimed their superiority because they were controlled by whites - I am thinking of South Africa under apartheid and Rhodesia (now Zimbabwe) which unilaterally declared independence and installed a government that was controlled by white settlers. British governments all the way to Margaret Thatcher were sympathetic to those white dominated regimes - and this was not so long ago.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:London is a mega city full of people who aren't from London. It's outrageously expensive and everyone is pissed.
Fine to visit, but not to live.
I always feel the same way about NYC.
I'm sure I'd like the countryside more if I had to live there.

DC is a city full of transplants. It's similarly expensive and filled with cranky, miserable people.

+1
I'm a DC native, and the people others complain about here are more often than not, transplants. The people who have lived here for generations are not like that.

There are very few DC natives. Perhaps more natives from northern Virginia or other burbs, but not dc.

Um, there are plenty of us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It truly amazes me how many people who have NEVER lived in a place feel qualified to weigh in and claim there are absolutely NO cultural differences and blame it all on the OP. That's a dead giveaway for someone who has really not stepped out of their comfort zone much in life. Or who is extremely socially dense and unaware

Exactly. When I first started traveling and living abroad, I was sooo open to the experience. All the differences were fascinating and beautiful. Now, I just want my American-sized large coffee at an American price. I want air conditioning (and I want Europe to stop pretending it doesn't get hot in the summer. IT HAPPENS EVERY SUMMER.) I want appliances that aren't built for a single person. I want people to shower every day. Now that I'm indisputably well traveled, I am more American than I've ever been.

I want people to stop pretending that Europe does not have air conditioners and big appliances. I live in West London and I have an American size fridge-freezer, an AC and no one has ever called me a c****. People really do shower here every day believe it or not. I have been here for eight years. Although I do hate American-sized large tasteless coffee, so you can keep that.

Most of the things you've listed are stereotypes often perpetrated by people who never lived in a country/region. Like people who never lived in Russia think Russians drink vodka for breakfast and there are bears walking down the streets.

Your A/C is not the norm. The British Museum doesn't even have a/c! My (tiny) N1 row house doesn't nor does the kids' school. The tube definitely doesn't. West London has more Americans though, so that would explain the your finding more American style digs. Do you also have a stand alone dryer? That was one thing that we never saw when we were searching. They were all the w/d combo units in the kitchen. (Which we assumed was what the place we selected had..turns out it was just a washer...that's been a habit shift!)

Precisely. When my husband was working for the U.S. State Dept., we were posted to London for three years. State provides its employees with American sized washer/dryers, refrigerators, etc., so we had a nice set up. But our English neighbors couldn't believe it. They all had the tiny European fridges and the w/d combo, which takes FOREVER since you have to wait for an entire load to dry before you can wash the next load. It was clear that our appliances were extremely out of the ordinary (thank you, U.S. State Dept.!). Also - NO A/C. Ugh.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:^^ The poster claiming that most people have AC in their attics in West London is completely lying and I think probably has never even been to London. I have lived in London over 20 years in Chelsea, Notting Hill, Holland Park, Brixton, Richmond and the surrounds.

There is practically no AC in London. You will find it in a movie theatre but not in restaurants. You might find it in a large bookstore but not in schools. And you just DON'T find it in houses.

+1
And it's rare to find a hotel with A/C. Beware if traveling during summer - it really does get hot, regardless of all the claims to the contrary.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, let me give you a different perspective which is in line with much of what you say.

I am British and moved to the US several decades ago after being given an offer that I could not refuse! I was supposed to stay for just a couple of years but my employer said they would help me get a green card, retained an immigration lawyer on my behalf and after a couple of years I was given a green card and subsequently became a citizen.

The different perspective I referred to above: the culture shock I went through was just how service oriented businesses are in the US, how polite people are especially at department stores and restaurants and just about any type of business. I found Americans I worked with to be friendly and had no hesitation in inviting me to a bbq at their house, etc. It really was quite amazing how welcoming they were. One thing that may have helped me is that Americans generally are Anglophiles and my very English accent went down well - though today my accent is probably a mix of American and English. When I visit England I am told I have an American accent and over here they tell me that I have a British accent. But a British accent really has helped me both at work and socially though - unlike many of my compatriots - I never go on about how great life was in the UK, because quite frankly, I enjoy a far higher standard of living here than I did there. This higher standard of living applies to so many facets of life some of them you have named: a/c, central heating, the cost of living, etc.

My final comment pertains to health care. I am entirely familiar with the NHS and I will tell you that for someone who does not have any insurance or has inadequate insurance, there is nothing better than the NHS but for those who do have good insurance in the US, the overall standard of medical care especially if you are hospitalized is way better here.It is still the norm in much of the UK under NHS to end up in a ward if you are hospitalized - as opposed to a private or semi-private room here! I can give you specific instances of relatives who went through endless waits for relatively routine procedures eg knee replacements and pretty much any elective surgery. But the point that will best illustrate the NHS scene is that the most sought after employee benefit in the UK is private insurance - which would hardly be the case if the NHS was all that it was made out to be by some over there and here. This is not to say that health care here does not need reform because it does.

So, I am one grateful person and my decision to emigrate and settle down in the US is one of the best decisions that I ever made. BTW, when I was looking at moving here permanently relatives and friends were horrified and the disparaging comments about the US and Americans were relentless. To this day when I tell people there about how life in the US is good, there is an attitude of disbelief but then the British generally react disparagingly about other nationalities as well with the French and Germans getting the brunt of the criticism - though not nearly as much as Americans.

+1,000,000
It is SO refreshing to read this honest account. I'm used to the British criticizing anything and everything American, both here on DCUM and IRL (we have several British neighbors). PP, it is wonderful to see that you've truly seen all the good that comes with living in the U.S. Is it perfect? No. But it's so much better than many places.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As someone who also lived in Britain I will tell you what really irritates the British and that's when Americans make snide comments or jokes about teeth or British food being terrible or how America defeated Britain in the Revolutionary War as if they ever cared, or how America saved Britain's ass during WWII while completely ignoring that Britain literally fought the war single handedly for two years before the US joined, or the women are ugly, or that it's still a class ridden society with toffee ruling the roost and cheeky cockneys everywhere, or that the British are still obsessed with empire and imperial decline. You get the idea. I loved living in Britain and I'm a proud American as well but there's definitely an element of arrogant jingoism that can manifest itself among some Americans and many British have seen that enough times. So if you complain about arrogant British people sneering at Americans, remember it goes both ways.

Is any of that untrue? No.

By far the worst snide remarks come from the British about Americans.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As someone who also lived in Britain I will tell you what really irritates the British and that's when Americans make snide comments or jokes about teeth or British food being terrible or how America defeated Britain in the Revolutionary War as if they ever cared, or how America saved Britain's ass during WWII while completely ignoring that Britain literally fought the war single handedly for two years before the US joined, or the women are ugly, or that it's still a class ridden society with toffee ruling the roost and cheeky cockneys everywhere, or that the British are still obsessed with empire and imperial decline. You get the idea. I loved living in Britain and I'm a proud American as well but there's definitely an element of arrogant jingoism that can manifest itself among some Americans and many British have seen that enough times. So if you complain about arrogant British people sneering at Americans, remember it goes both ways.

Is any of that untrue? No.

By far the worst snide remarks come from the British about Americans.

I'd argue much of it is untrue or pointlessly exaggerated - such as the teeth and food, especially when plenty of Americans have bad teeth and there's plenty of mediocre food in the US. Nor is it anywhere remotely true that "toffs" run the UK. And there's something petulant and childish in crowing about a victory that occurred 250 years ago.

Claims that "by far the worst snide remarks come from the British about Americans" is unsubstantiated and even ironic given that plenty of Americans make nasty comments and jokes about all types of nationalities. If there are Brits who don't like Americans, they are hardly alone as many people globally don't like Americans. Our pointless and botched invasion of Iraq never went down well and only portrayed the US as big, nasty bullies.