Calling a Ph.D "Doctor"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I sent an email to a coworker and addressed her as "Larla." She wrote me a reply to my email (addressed me by my first name) and told me to address her as "Dr. Smith."

Is this crazy or normal? I don't know what her degree is in, but we work in an engineering field. I'm asking for future reference. I do work with a lot of people with doctorates and advanced degrees, but haven't ever had anyone rebuke me before when I called them by their first name. No one else goes solely by their last name at work.

I have a PhD in a scientific field, and my guess is that you pissed her off. I didn't read all the pages of PPs but I did read something about you wanting something from her in a professional capacity because you're doing some litigation. In that context, I think it's appropriate for you to have started your communication with her by using her title. She would probably then have finished her email with her first name, in which case that's what you should call her moving forward.

However, if I had a snooty lawyer (especially someone I perceived to be an arrogant kid) send me a pushy email that basically gave me a list of tasks that she expected me to complete, I would probably finish my email with Dr. Larla Smith, PhD. and also take my sweet time doing the stuff (if I did it at all). I would assume that it would be clear that I think you're a little bitch, and I wouldn't care, but I'd definitely expect you to continue referring to me by the title that I'd earned if you seriously expected me to help you. I can't for a second imagine doing that if a nice lawyer/coworker sent me an email for the first time politely introducing herself and asking respectfully for my time to gather some stuff together to help her with a case.

Personally, I've never requested that anyone call me Dr. Smith. But I've never encountered any pushy lawyers either.

P.S. If you meet her socially though, and you saw other people calling her Larla, I think it's appropriate to call her Larla too. Unless she stops you and asks that you use her title in which case you've DEFINITELY pissed her off... but I guess at that point you could just call her whatever you wanted. Just don't write her emails asking for favors anytime after that

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Or just "Doc".

That's what I do. "Hey, doc." "What's up, doc?"

I say that all day long! I named my dog Doc. He is the best Doc you'll ever find anywhere!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nope. I like to be called Mrs. Soandso. Calling the patient's parent "Mommy" is a way of setting up a hierarchy between doctor and patient by infantilizing the parent. Someone who has just been addressed as "Mommy" is probably less likely to ask the Dr. critical questions about child's care, ask for a second opinion, or even refuse a treatment. It's a way of eliciting compliance by creating a power dynamic.

Please. You're making way to big a deal out of this. I hope you don't pull this in the ER when your child has something seriously wrong and the resident addresses you as "Mom." Yeah--so it startled me when it happened, but I am glad he wasn't spending his mental energy learning my name and instead was focusing on my child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well i had a pediatrician call me Mommy a while ago so since i have a phd i told that doctor that she should call me Dr soandso and not Mommy, since i am a doctor and i am not her mommy.

I'm the PP with the hard science PhD from above (00:41) and I find this ridiculous. My kids' peds refer to me as "mom" or all the time and it doesn't bother me in the slightest. And that's even when they were the one to visit the child in hospital several times when they were born and I know that they know (or at least knew) my name.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My Ph.D wife always says: unless you're ready to say "yes" when someone yells "IS ANYONE ON THIS PLANE A DOCTOR?" then just don't.

Got her Doctor Who tshirt that said "Not that kind of Doctor..."

Haha, perfect! I work in health care and we all roll our eyes when patients or family members who are PhD's asked to be addressed as Dr. It's is actually confusing and a little dumb because in the hospital setting the staff are then going to assume you are a 'real' doctor and speak to you accordingly. Then, you won't understand what is being said, and be left with tons of questions.

I got chime in, my fiancé is a doctor and he had a call from one of the floor nurses one time letting him know he had a complaint against him.. the complaint was due to .... wait for it....
the patient NOT being addressed by his title Dr.Podiatrist lol. My fiancé told the nurse he had more important things to worry about then hearing complaints about a patient who is butthurt he was not addressed correctly.
I mean when he went in to see this guy he was barely awake. lol Excuse my fiancé for not googling his patient first! My fiancé said he and the nurses had a good chuckle about it.

[Anonymous]

I'm a PhD, no one calls me Doctor, and that's the way I like it.

[Anonymous]

I'm a lawyer who occasionally deals with experts as well. And while I have never, ever addressed another attorney of any seniority level, as Mr. LASTNAME outside of a formal hearing, I usually do it with the experts unless they ask me not to do so. Academics, especially, can be a prickly set about such things. And, in fairness, I think referring to an academic professionally without their title is occasionally used as a way to subtly insult or undermine them in professional discourse. There is just a different standard address in that setting than there is among attorneys.

That's not to say your contact was being reasonable.

[Anonymous]

The only time I've ever called a nonmedical PhD a doctor is if they were my professor for a class. I did it out of respect for their academic accomplishment. Otherwise, we are are on a strictly first name basis.

[Anonymous]

I think the worst are the Reverend Doctor so-and-so's. Give me a break!

[Anonymous]

DH is a professor, and I recently had to email another professor at his school. (Not in his department.) I've never met this person, but he would be pretty much a Peer of mine, if a bit older.

I asked DH if I should address the email to "Dr. Soandso" of just "Larlo." He laughed and told me to default to whatever his bio says (which is Dr. Larlo Soandso") but he thinks that professors who insist on being called Dr. are hilarious.

[Anonymous]

I shut down when people call me doctor because know they want something or are missing up for some reason.

I only call practicing MDs doctor. I would not be able to keep a straight face if I had to refer to someone with a doctorate in education as doctor.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I sent an email to a coworker and addressed her as "Larla." She wrote me a reply to my email (addressed me by my first name) and told me to address her as "Dr. Smith."

Is this crazy or normal? I don't know what her degree is in, but we work in an engineering field. I'm asking for future reference. I do work with a lot of people with doctorates and advanced degrees, but haven't ever had anyone rebuke me before when I called them by their first name. No one else goes solely by their last name at work.

Well, you're kind of being an idiot here. If you are asking for a future reference, you'd be stupid to call her Larla just to spite her. If she asked to be addressed as Dr. Smith, you say, "Oh, sorry, Dr. Smith, I didn't mean to offend you. Can I use you as a reference for XYZ?" You wouldn't say, "oh, well, LARLA, we all call each other by our first names, so you're being a bit of a snob asking me to address you as "dr." In any event LARLA, can I use you for a reference for XYZ?

How serious is your aspergers?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I shut down when people call me doctor because know they want something or are missing up for some reason.

I only call practicing MDs doctor. I would not be able to keep a straight face if I had to refer to someone with a doctorate in education as doctor.

My dad is a psychiatrist. When someone asks if there's a doctor around (which happens more frequently than you might think), he always holds back a second to see if a "real doctor " answers first.

He tells a great story about the time he was in a restaurant when someone had a heart attack. The only two medical professionals were him and a podiatrist, and they needed someone "in the middle." (The guy survived just fine with the help of a foot & head doctor.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I shut down when people call me doctor because know they want something or are missing up for some reason.

I only call practicing MDs doctor. I would not be able to keep a straight face if I had to refer to someone with a doctorate in education as doctor.

My dad is a psychiatrist. When someone asks if there's a doctor around (which happens more frequently than you might think), he always holds back a second to see if a "real doctor " answers first.

He tells a great story about the time he was in a restaurant when someone had a heart attack. The only two medical professionals were him and a podiatrist, and they needed someone "in the middle." (The guy survived just fine with the help of a foot & head doctor.)

It sucks that your dad went thru med school but can't save a life. He doesn't deserve the title Doctor.

And it's scary that he has the ability to prescribe drugs but wouldn't even be able to save his patient should something adverse occur. Shame on your dad!

[Anonymous]

As a JD I definitely require ppl to call me doctor