Why do you resist being called rich?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

There's always a poster or two on DCUM who will not accept any "self made" stories. They insist you were simply lucky. You have to let it go and enjoy your hard-earned success.

Thank you. I should know better than to visit these forums much less express a position in opposition to the masses.

And there is always some DCUMer whose parents paid for everything until her husband took over who thinks she's self-made.

I don't believe successful people are "lucky," (I do believe they had advantages), but no one is "self made" -- you always had help.

See what I mean? It just gets ridiculous. Rags to riches stories are always discounted on DCUM. Yeah, my mother gave birth to me and yes I drive on paved roads. So I guess you're right. How did you earn your first million?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

There's always a poster or two on DCUM who will not accept any "self made" stories. They insist you were simply lucky. You have to let it go and enjoy your hard-earned success.

Thank you. I should know better than to visit these forums much less express a position in opposition to the masses.

And there is always some DCUMer whose parents paid for everything until her husband took over who thinks she's self-made.

I don't believe successful people are "lucky," (I do believe they had advantages), but no one is "self made" -- you always had help.

Yes, it is true that you need to have help, however, you earn this help. It doesn't come from nowhere, something you possess makes other people want to help you, be it your natural charisma, your ability to sell yourself and your ideas to others, your risk taking, your smarts and ideas, etc. People who are at power to help, don't just help anyone, if they chose you, you must have had something to offer.

Nope. My help was in the form of federal loans. No one chose me. I wasn't special. But others had paid taxes, I got through school and got a leg up, and now I have a high HHI. And I don't want to close those doors for others.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not the PP but where do find a quality private in MoCo for $11,000, pray tell?

The point is that if you live in MoCo and send your child to private school, you are not middle class, you are rich. And the fact that you want "quality" private school means you are not rich. Even if the 1950's that pinnacle of middle class that several posters like to point to, middle class did not send their children to private school, let alone quality private school.

The point is that the people denying that they are rich in fact are very rich and are hiding the fact by obscuring where and how they spend their money. You've chosen to live in one of the top 3 or so areas of the Metro area in both cost and services. And you want quality private school. You've made some expensive choices. Middle class is not defined by what you have left after you pay for mortgage, Whole Foods shopping and private school. Sorry.

And there are some more affordable private schools in MoCo. I did amend my statement to saying that you'd probably pay $45K for 3 kids, so more like $15K per kid than $11K.
The Avalon School
200 W. Diamond Ave., Gaithersburg, MD; 301-963-8022; boys 2nd-12th grades; $10,450-$13,000; 158 students.

Butler School
15951 Germantown Rd., Darnestown, MD; 301-977-6600; pre-K-8th grade; $8,500 (half-day), $12, 800 (K-6th grade), $13,335 (7th-8th grade); 131 students.

Just a couple. There are 11 pages of Co-Ed schools in the Washington area. I got these from the first two pages. You can look for others.
http://www.washingtonian.com/articles/work-education/2010-washingtonian-guide-to-private-schools-coed-schools/indexp3.php

Ok, Whole Foods and private school is upper middle class, but it's not rich. Rich is a different bag of goodies altogether. People are so stupid here. Let me ask you, when and if you ever dream about winning a lottery, what lifestyle do you imagine? This is what rich is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

There's always a poster or two on DCUM who will not accept any "self made" stories. They insist you were simply lucky. You have to let it go and enjoy your hard-earned success.

Thank you. I should know better than to visit these forums much less express a position in opposition to the masses.

And there is always some DCUMer whose parents paid for everything until her husband took over who thinks she's self-made.

I don't believe successful people are "lucky," (I do believe they had advantages), but no one is "self made" -- you always had help.

Yes, it is true that you need to have help, however, you earn this help. It doesn't come from nowhere, something you possess makes other people want to help you, be it your natural charisma, your ability to sell yourself and your ideas to others, your risk taking, your smarts and ideas, etc. People who are at power to help, don't just help anyone, if they chose you, you must have had something to offer.

Nope. My help was in the form of federal loans. No one chose me. I wasn't special. But others had paid taxes, I got through school and got a leg up, and now I have a high HHI. And I don't want to close those doors for others.

I resist being called rich. We are upper middle class and it is what it is, we are willing to pay more in taxes and we donate to charity, we pay our fair share and we are liberal and in favor of social programs, I have to say, I also have benefited from this programs as a first generation immigrant and put myself through school while working minimum wage jobs. but, I will never ever call myself rich, while I am unsure about my financial future, while I still worry every day whether my kids will be taken care of, because no way we will have trust funds for them, they'd have to make their way, I am still unsure when we will be able to retire and what will happen to us if we lose one income and especially both of them. We worry about whether our house will depreciate and we lose money should we pick up and go if we must relocate for a job. We worry about financing college for our kids and losing healthcare coverage. Rich people don't have these problems, sorry. They just don't. Even though we may have a a used luxury car and have one or two nice vacations and save for college and retirement, and shop at Whole foods, this makes us upper middle class, but we still have problems that rich people simply would never have. Runt over.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not the PP but where do find a quality private in MoCo for $11,000, pray tell?

The point is that if you live in MoCo and send your child to private school, you are not middle class, you are rich. And the fact that you want "quality" private school means you are not rich. Even if the 1950's that pinnacle of middle class that several posters like to point to, middle class did not send their children to private school, let alone quality private school.

The point is that the people denying that they are rich in fact are very rich and are hiding the fact by obscuring where and how they spend their money. You've chosen to live in one of the top 3 or so areas of the Metro area in both cost and services. And you want quality private school. You've made some expensive choices. Middle class is not defined by what you have left after you pay for mortgage, Whole Foods shopping and private school. Sorry.

And there are some more affordable private schools in MoCo. I did amend my statement to saying that you'd probably pay $45K for 3 kids, so more like $15K per kid than $11K.
The Avalon School
200 W. Diamond Ave., Gaithersburg, MD; 301-963-8022; boys 2nd-12th grades; $10,450-$13,000; 158 students.

Butler School
15951 Germantown Rd., Darnestown, MD; 301-977-6600; pre-K-8th grade; $8,500 (half-day), $12, 800 (K-6th grade), $13,335 (7th-8th grade); 131 students.

Just a couple. There are 11 pages of Co-Ed schools in the Washington area. I got these from the first two pages. You can look for others.
http://www.washingtonian.com/articles/work-education/2010-washingtonian-guide-to-private-schools-coed-schools/indexp3.php

Ok, Whole Foods and private school is upper middle class, but it's not rich. Rich is a different bag of goodies altogether. People are so stupid here. Let me ask you, when and if you ever dream about winning a lottery, what lifestyle do you imagine? This is what rich is.

Um, actually, our HHI is $225K. I know what rich is...and it's what we have. Which is why I don't sympathize with the "Woe is me...I don't have X, so I'm middle class" wimps.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

There's always a poster or two on DCUM who will not accept any "self made" stories. They insist you were simply lucky. You have to let it go and enjoy your hard-earned success.

Thank you. I should know better than to visit these forums much less express a position in opposition to the masses.

And there is always some DCUMer whose parents paid for everything until her husband took over who thinks she's self-made.

I don't believe successful people are "lucky," (I do believe they had advantages), but no one is "self made" -- you always had help.

Yes, it is true that you need to have help, however, you earn this help. It doesn't come from nowhere, something you possess makes other people want to help you, be it your natural charisma, your ability to sell yourself and your ideas to others, your risk taking, your smarts and ideas, etc. People who are at power to help, don't just help anyone, if they chose you, you must have had something to offer.

What a peculiar point of view. I don't think I got anything from someone because they want to "help me". I was accepted to schools based on test scores and got jobs because I applied and interviewed for them. Do you mean the judge "helped me" because he chose me for the clerkship? Did the lawyer "help me" because she interviewed me and recommended I be hired? I'd say those things were earned but it seems you're defining that as "help"?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

There's always a poster or two on DCUM who will not accept any "self made" stories. They insist you were simply lucky. You have to let it go and enjoy your hard-earned success.

Thank you. I should know better than to visit these forums much less express a position in opposition to the masses.

And there is always some DCUMer whose parents paid for everything until her husband took over who thinks she's self-made.

I don't believe successful people are "lucky," (I do believe they had advantages), but no one is "self made" -- you always had help.

Yes, it is true that you need to have help, however, you earn this help. It doesn't come from nowhere, something you possess makes other people want to help you, be it your natural charisma, your ability to sell yourself and your ideas to others, your risk taking, your smarts and ideas, etc. People who are at power to help, don't just help anyone, if they chose you, you must have had something to offer.

What a peculiar point of view. I don't think I got anything from someone because they want to "help me". I was accepted to schools based on test scores and got jobs because I applied and interviewed for them. Do you mean the judge "helped me" because he chose me for the clerkship? Did the lawyer "help me" because she interviewed me and recommended I be hired? I'd say those things were earned but it seems you're defining that as "help"?

They liked you, they chose you, among others who might have had the same scores or were as good, whatever. Maybe someone in your law firm mentored you, or gave you a good advice, something that influenced you or set you on a right track, helped you stand above others, differentiate yourself, etc. Little things like this and sometimes big things, someone giving you a break or someone giving you a piece of the business as opposed to another salesperson. Yes, in a way it suggests that you deserved it, so I am not saying anything different.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not the PP but where do find a quality private in MoCo for $11,000, pray tell?

The point is that if you live in MoCo and send your child to private school, you are not middle class, you are rich. And the fact that you want "quality" private school means you are not rich. Even if the 1950's that pinnacle of middle class that several posters like to point to, middle class did not send their children to private school, let alone quality private school.

The point is that the people denying that they are rich in fact are very rich and are hiding the fact by obscuring where and how they spend their money. You've chosen to live in one of the top 3 or so areas of the Metro area in both cost and services. And you want quality private school. You've made some expensive choices. Middle class is not defined by what you have left after you pay for mortgage, Whole Foods shopping and private school. Sorry.

And there are some more affordable private schools in MoCo. I did amend my statement to saying that you'd probably pay $45K for 3 kids, so more like $15K per kid than $11K.
The Avalon School
200 W. Diamond Ave., Gaithersburg, MD; 301-963-8022; boys 2nd-12th grades; $10,450-$13,000; 158 students.

Butler School
15951 Germantown Rd., Darnestown, MD; 301-977-6600; pre-K-8th grade; $8,500 (half-day), $12, 800 (K-6th grade), $13,335 (7th-8th grade); 131 students.

Just a couple. There are 11 pages of Co-Ed schools in the Washington area. I got these from the first two pages. You can look for others.
http://www.washingtonian.com/articles/work-education/2010-washingtonian-guide-to-private-schools-coed-schools/indexp3.php

Ok, Whole Foods and private school is upper middle class, but it's not rich. Rich is a different bag of goodies altogether. People are so stupid here. Let me ask you, when and if you ever dream about winning a lottery, what lifestyle do you imagine? This is what rich is.

Um, actually, our HHI is $225K. I know what rich is...and it's what we have. Which is why I don't sympathize with the "Woe is me...I don't have X, so I'm middle class" wimps.

You are so funny. continue living in your bubble.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

There's always a poster or two on DCUM who will not accept any "self made" stories. They insist you were simply lucky. You have to let it go and enjoy your hard-earned success.

Thank you. I should know better than to visit these forums much less express a position in opposition to the masses.

And there is always some DCUMer whose parents paid for everything until her husband took over who thinks she's self-made.

I don't believe successful people are "lucky," (I do believe they had advantages), but no one is "self made" -- you always had help.

Yes, it is true that you need to have help, however, you earn this help. It doesn't come from nowhere, something you possess makes other people want to help you, be it your natural charisma, your ability to sell yourself and your ideas to others, your risk taking, your smarts and ideas, etc. People who are at power to help, don't just help anyone, if they chose you, you must have had something to offer.

What a peculiar point of view. I don't think I got anything from someone because they want to "help me". I was accepted to schools based on test scores and got jobs because I applied and interviewed for them. Do you mean the judge "helped me" because he chose me for the clerkship? Did the lawyer "help me" because she interviewed me and recommended I be hired? I'd say those things were earned but it seems you're defining that as "help"?

They liked you, they chose you, among others who might have had the same scores or were as good, whatever. Maybe someone in your law firm mentored you, or gave you a good advice, something that influenced you or set you on a right track, helped you stand above others, differentiate yourself, etc. Little things like this and sometimes big things, someone giving you a break or someone giving you a piece of the business as opposed to another salesperson. Yes, in a way it suggests that you deserved it, so I am not saying anything different.

What threw me off is that you said these people wanted to "help me." Certainly no one in the admissions or recruitment office brought me in because they wanted to help me (in the dictionary definition of "help" way). They wanted to help themselves by choosing the best candidate. Certainly I've benefitted from many situations and people in my lifetime (never any free money or any favored position, however), so maybe this is just a case of semantics.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
What threw me off is that you said these people wanted to "help me." Certainly no one in the admissions or recruitment office brought me in because they wanted to help me (in the dictionary definition of "help" way). They wanted to help themselves by choosing the best candidate. Certainly I've benefitted from many situations and people in my lifetime (never any free money or any favored position, however), so maybe this is just a case of semantics.

That's such a sad perspective. You really think no one in this world helps other people unless they have something to gain by it?

I've "helped" a lot of people just because I thought they had potential and deserved a chance. I've hired people who might not have had the most stellar credentials but showed particular enthusiasm and promise. I've mentored employees who were skilled but needed advise on how to present themselves professionally and sell their ideas. I sponsored one very talented young man so he could learn graphic design and turn his natural artistic ability into a skill set employers would value.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
What threw me off is that you said these people wanted to "help me." Certainly no one in the admissions or recruitment office brought me in because they wanted to help me (in the dictionary definition of "help" way). They wanted to help themselves by choosing the best candidate. Certainly I've benefitted from many situations and people in my lifetime (never any free money or any favored position, however), so maybe this is just a case of semantics.

That's such a sad perspective. You really think no one in this world helps other people unless they have something to gain by it?

I've "helped" a lot of people just because I thought they had potential and deserved a chance. I've hired people who might not have had the most stellar credentials but showed particular enthusiasm and promise. I've mentored employees who were skilled but needed advise on how to present themselves professionally and sell their ideas. I sponsored one very talented young man so he could learn graphic design and turn his natural artistic ability into a skill set employers would value.

I don't know what line of work you're in but I can say that's not been my experience at all. I don't think anyone's done anything outside of their ordinary scope of employment to help me. I'm not complaining, bitter, feeling sorry for myself or anything like that. And I don't think it's a sad perspective at all, it's just the way it was for me (and I'd be surprised to hear that it's been much different for other biglaw attorneys who came up through the ranks 20 years ago).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Um, actually, our HHI is $225K. I know what rich is...and it's what we have. Which is why I don't sympathize with the "Woe is me...I don't have X, so I'm middle class" wimps.

You are so funny. continue living in your bubble.

Actually, you are the one in the bubble. The little bubble of people who have no clue what rich actually is. There are a few thousand of you who claim poverty when you are more well off than 100M households, when you are in the top 2% of the nation's wealth and think that after you've spent $800K on a house in a prime location that because you don't have as much disposable income left over that you are middle class. You're woefully wrong. I, on the other hand, realize that I am more fortunate than 100M households and while I don't have everything I want, I have a lot and am very grateful for what I have. Keep deluding yourself, but don't expect much sympathy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Um, actually, our HHI is $225K. I know what rich is...and it's what we have. Which is why I don't sympathize with the "Woe is me...I don't have X, so I'm middle class" wimps.

You are so funny. continue living in your bubble.

Actually, you are the one in the bubble. The little bubble of people who have no clue what rich actually is. There are a few thousand of you who claim poverty when you are more well off than 100M households, when you are in the top 2% of the nation's wealth and think that after you've spent $800K on a house in a prime location that because you don't have as much disposable income left over that you are middle class. You're woefully wrong. I, on the other hand, realize that I am more fortunate than 100M households and while I don't have everything I want, I have a lot and am very grateful for what I have. Keep deluding yourself, but don't expect much sympathy.

450K is rich, It's the law STFU

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Um, actually, our HHI is $225K. I know what rich is...and it's what we have. Which is why I don't sympathize with the "Woe is me...I don't have X, so I'm middle class" wimps.

You are so funny. continue living in your bubble.

Actually, you are the one in the bubble. The little bubble of people who have no clue what rich actually is. There are a few thousand of you who claim poverty when you are more well off than 100M households, when you are in the top 2% of the nation's wealth and think that after you've spent $800K on a house in a prime location that because you don't have as much disposable income left over that you are middle class. You're woefully wrong. I, on the other hand, realize that I am more fortunate than 100M households and while I don't have everything I want, I have a lot and am very grateful for what I have. Keep deluding yourself, but don't expect much sympathy.

450K is rich, It's the law STFU

450K is the proposed highest tax bracket. There is no law defining what is "rich". Go back into your little bubble and have your temper tantrum there. Maybe some of your fellow 1%ers will have sympathy, pat you on the head and call you middle class. Will that make you feel better?

[Anonymous]

Well I'm rich and I don't mind saying it. And I'm perfectly willing to pay more in taxes, though frankly I think my money would be put to much better use donated to any one of several charities we support that are highly efficient at what they do. Some people may not want to be called rich because it is often used as a way of raising negative assumptions or accusations (you don't deserve what you have, you must have had unfair advantages, you are out of touch with reality, and the like), or simply as a way of identifying someone as different from the mainstream in ways other than simply financial.